The maknae lies on the couch (which he likes to refer to as "the only thing worth to be touched by the Booty aside from my bed") watching the shopping channel while stuffing himself with carrotsticks. So that my would be as crispy-fresh as those sticks, he would explain. 

"What the are you watching there Sehun?" Jongin stares at the screen and plants himself at the end of Sehuns feet, which makes Sehun grumble in discomfort of someone sitting on his holy couch. There is a well built man to be seen, who is currently doing squats and filling the screen with his enormous , while screaming random instructions.

"You see his ? Mine is better. It's not supposed to be that muscular, but rather round and bouncy and firm at the same time. Don't you think so too?" Jongin shrugs his shoulders and attempts to stand up to reach for a stick, but the youngest coldly swats his hand away without looking up. "This is food for my ." Rubbing his hand and furrowing his eyebrows Jongin glances at his friend. "Don't you think you are a little bit too obsessed with your ?" he asks. At that Sehun kicks him off the couch "Not at all! I mean, how can I not obsess over my beautiful little - lol what am I saying - big peaches here?" Swinging his long legs from the  couch Sehun stands in front of the other, back to face. Then he takes one asscheek in each hand and begins kneading them, skinny jeans only emphasizing the roundness of his . Jongin stares in awe, jar dropping wide open. Never had he seen an like that before.

"So...changed your mind about my booty?" Sehun grins and gives one cheek a little slap. Jongin is too mesmerized by the sight in front of him to answer, so he only nods his head. "Since you are my best friend, I will allow you to touch it. But just one squeeze, ok?" He bends slightly, making his look even bigger. The older, who is in some sort of a trance, slowly reaches out. As he finally touches the Sebooty, he swears he sees stars and cries out in bliss. "SEHUN! I....I THINK I NOW KNOW WHAT HEAVEN FEELS LIKE! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL !" With those words he runs out of the room, jumping in the  air and almost bumping into Junmyeon. He screams something like 'My life is fulfilled!' and hops out of the window. (Yes, the window)

"Did something good happen? He looked like he won the jackpot, got a house full of puppies AND a kiss from Kyungsoo..." Junmyeon looks over his shoulder to see a flying Jongin disappearing into the sunset. "How is this even possible?" he mutters. Sehun smiles at him. "Everything is possible with the Sebooty." Junmyeon quirks an eyebrow at him. "Did Yixing give you some of his weird stuff again? Because you're being weird right now. And Jongin too." Sehun turns his attention to the tv again and starts doing squats. 

"Hey, don't you want to answer your hyung??" The maknae turns his head and scoffs at him "If you are not here to appreciate my , then I have no reasons to talk to you." Squat, Squat, Squat. Junmyeon blinks. "Young man, how are you talking to your hyu-" Suddenly, he tears his eyes wide open. The more squats the younger makes, the rounder his looks and it somehow starts to ....glow? The leader can't believe what's happening, but he feels his hand drawn to Sehuns delicious bum. He almost doesn't hear Sehuns words over his own panting when the cheeky boy asks if he has finally opened himself to the Sebooty. One finger presses into the soft flesh  and Joonmyeon stumbles back when his finger lights up briefly. 

"What the ing , oh my jeezus, Minseok has to see this, holy ing macaroni with cheese, that's so freakin amazing, MINSEOK YOU LITTLE ER, MOVE YOUR WRINKLY DOWN HERE!!!" Sehun smirks at the unusual outburst of 'EXO's Guardian Angel Suho' and explains "Sebooty doesn't let anyone feel this kind of magic. Only those who are worthy to be his loyal followers and are willing to serve the booty for the rest of their lives. Congrats hyung, you are a chosen one!" he opens his arms and Junmyeon lets himself to be hugged (and almost choked) by the tall maknae.

That's when Minseok enters the room. "Why did you call me? I was busy eating and chatting with Lu Han, you know how rare we see eachother now! And my is NOT wrinkly!" "I don't care for your longdistance romance with Lu Han, just look at this amazing piece of !" He points towards Sehun with sparkling eyes. "Isn't it wonderful? So round and soft but somehow also firm, omg, per.fec.tion!" Junmyeon rubs his face against the buttcheeks, murmuring little praises.

"Why is Junmyeon talking to your ? It's already painful to watch him singing to his creditcards before going to sleep but this...." he waves his hands in Junmyeons direction "TThis is on a whole new level!" The oldest glances at his roommate in disgust and turns over to get back to his room again. From the corner of his eyes he sees how their leader throws himself at his feet, screaming "YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITHOUT SHOWING SOME RESPECT TO THE SEBOOTY!!!" At that, Minseok tumbles over and falls onto Sehun. Fortunately his head lands soft. On Sehuns . A warm feeling floods his body and he lets his head rest where it is. He sighs "I feel like I'm in my mothers womb again...no dancepractice, no schedule, no stressful beagleline...I'm HOME!" And with these words he falls asleep right on the spot. "Sebooty may also work calming on some..." Sehun says while tossing the sleeping hyung off and letting him drool on the floor. Junmyeon nods excitedly and Sehun flops himself on the couch again.

After a while, Baekhyun and Chanyeol enter the room. "Hey, do you guys wanna- why is Minseok-hyung sleeping on the floor?" Chanyeols smile drops at the sight of the little puddle of drool. Baekhyun looks over to Sehun. "And why is Junmyeon patting your ?" "He has found the light, let him be" the youngest shushes him. Chanbaek look eachother in the face, big questionmark over their heads (but not as big as Sebooty!). They communicate with their eyes: -You think they are high? -Yeah, probably Lay-hyung. We better be going, who knows what they are capable of...

Just then Junmyeon creeps up from behind and whispers "Don't you want to see the light?" Baekhyun shudders and Chanyeol let's out a squeak. -Baek, Junmyeon-hyung is scary! -I think everything will be ok as long as we do what he says. "Ok hyung! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Chanyeol breaks out in cold sweat and puts on a fake smile. Baekhyun kicks his shin. You're so obvious Yeol!

The older drags the pair over to the couch where Sehun is lying on his stomach, now eating cucumbersticks. Minseok is mumbling incoherent words in his sleep and Baekhyun wonders how he can sleep like this, soaking in his own saliva. Chanyeols grin is frozen on his face and his left eye is twitching "What now hyung? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Baekhyun squeezes his arm and Junmyeon says

"Touch it."

"What?"

"Touch the ."

"Why should we-" 

"JUST TOUCH THE HOLY !"

Chanyeol flinches and holds his hands protectively over his head. Their leader may be short but short people are the scariest (just look at Kyungsoo!). -We better do what he tells us -Baek, I'm gonna my pants because of Junmyeon, shouldn't we rather call the police? -Nah, after two hours they will be ok and now put your damn hands on da maknaes !"

They both put a hand on each side of Sehuns . "Are you sure this works?"

Suddenly they can see fireworks before their eyes, pretty pink and red sparks forming hearts and Chanyeol thinks he can hear 'Love is in the air' playing somewhere. Looking at the blonde, the taller male clasps their hands together, interwhining their fingers. Mouth hanging wide open he stares at Baekhyun. The other stutters "Y-Yeol...you are freaking tall and dumb and clumsy b-but I guess I have always loved you, my gentle giant!" "Yeah, me too, Baek! I love it when you are a Diva and boss me around, my little sassy princess! Let's just get married!" Magical sparks are flying and Chanyeol carries Baekhyun bridalstyle out of the dorm. Before they close the door Baekhyun screams happily "WE ARE GOING TO AMERICA, DON'T LOOK FOR US, BLESS THE SEBOOTY, BAEKYEOL IS REAL!!!" As the door closed you could still hear a faint "but it's Chanbaek, I top" followed by a slapping noise.

"Glad they found love" Junmyeon smiles and Sehun stands up to look for more cucumbersticks.

In the kitchen he meets Kyungsoo who is busy cooking kimchispaghetti. Of course he wears black clothes only. "Why do you have a picture of Baekhyun beside you while cutting the vegetables?" Sehun doesn't get an answer though. "You are always so grumpy, you need Sebooty in your life. It will do you good to have something you can trust in." Kyungsoo gives him the are-you-crazy-why-should-I-pray-to-your-fat- look and continues chopping the vegetables, cutting down forcefully with the picture of Baekhyun on his mind. 

"Kyungsoo...you are my favourite hyung and I want you to be happy. You know, Sebooty is here for everyone, it's ok you just have to touch it, here!" Sehun wiggles his in the smaller mans direction and gives is a slap. "Come on, nobody can resist this piece of perfection, the level of bootyness is over 1000!" Kyungsoo glances at the other briefly and then whispers "The word bootyness doesn't exists and if you don't get your big out of my view I'm gonna cut you (Yes, short people are evil, because they are closer to hell). Sehun backs away with a pout on his face. He knows (or at least he thinks) that Kyungsoo is just joking but he's still a little bit scared. "I guess I have to force you to happiness then..." he mumbles. With a loud scream Sehun tackles Kyungsoo with his bum, making the older drop his knife. Good, Sehun thinks, now he can't kill me if it doesn't work. But luckily it does work. Visibly. Kyungsoos clothes have changed from black into all colors of the rainbow and there are cute ribbons in his hair. His back is straightened and he wears a happy, heartshaped smile on his lips. " Sehun...the world is so colorful! I feel like all the weight has been lifted from my tiny shoulders and I don't have the urge to kill Baekkie anymore! Thank you Sehun, you are a wonderful human with a wonderful !" He gives his dongsaeng a last patt on the before walking to the window, jumping out and flying away "WAIT FOR ME JONGIIIIIIIN!"

He is scarier than before, Sehun thinks. 

When he comes back, Yixing is in the livingroom, helping Junmyeon with dragging Minseok to the bathroom to lay him in the bathtub. They leave a trail of drool behind them. "He should visit the doctor because of unhealthy loss of saliva..." Yixing says, back from getting rid of their hyung. He then almost stumbles at the sight of Sehun. Specifically at the sight of Sehuns . "Woah, , what is THAT? I...I didn't smoke anything today...right???" Sehun shrugs his shoulders. "Sehun, there is sunshine coming out of your hole!" "I know, it's cool, huh?" Yixing falls back on the couch and puts his hands on his face while quietly repeating the phrase "I'm not high". Resting his arm on his hyungs shoulder, Sehun sits down beside him "Sebooty glows in the dark, it's normal"

"HOW IS THAT NORMAL?! AND IT'S NOT EVEN DARK OUTSIDE!!" 

"..."

"..."

"Shawty imma party till the sundown"

"What"

"Nothing"

"But-"

"I SAID NOTHING!"

A wild maknae presses his in Yixings face, straddling the poor (and very confused) man. "Hhhhmmmpf, fatt fe hell af you fuing???" "Take Sebooty like a man!" A beam of light shoots into the olders face and he flies against the wall. Slowly he gets up and rubs his head "Man, what the is wrong with y-" He pauses and lets his hand slide over his forehead. There is a little bulge and out of that there is slowly growing a...horn. "Sehun...please tell me I smoked weed and this isn't happening" A rainbowcolored tail pops out of nowhere and his hair begins to grow into a long mane. And before Sehun can answer the question, there is a unicorn standing in front of him.

"Oops..."

Jongdae enters the room "What the heck???"

"...never don't mind about a thing?"

"I don't know what happened, but can we keep him?" Jongdae asks and points in unicornturned Yixings direction. "That's Yixing hyung, so I guess we must keep him." Loud laughter fill the room as the main vocalist pats the annoyed unicorn. "Ahahahahaha, so funny, lololol, how did he became like this?" Tears are forming in his eyes and Yixing gives him a hard kick. "Well, the powers of my y beautiful were too much for him, I guess. He already was an angel before so he turned into something even nicer." "Haha I see, but what do you mean by 'y beautiful '? I mean it's pretty nice and all but nothing can beat this little buns here!" Jongdae gives Sehun a winning smile while turning his to him. Sehun strongly disagrees "OH NO, YOU DIDN'T! Nothing can be compared to the Sebooty! It's the god of all booties, your meatsacks are not even nearly as firm as my asss!" A fight starts, hair is being tugged, asses are being slapped and unicorns thrown until an upset leader steps between the two girls, uh I mean boys. "Woah, calm down, touch the Sebooty!" "You won't get me to touch that ...eeew thing even if it was the only thing to grab onto in an ocean full of sharks!" "That doesn't even make sense..." "Complain to the author of this crappy story then! And now let go of me, I'm gonna call Zitao! He knows the real value of my !" Sulking, Jongdae walks towards the door and Sehun turns his back to him. Junmyeon sighs "Stop being sassy little pricks and touch the Sebooty!" He then puts his hands on Sehuns boney shoulders and pushes him in Jongdaes direction (who is currently trying to kidnap Yixing out of the dorm). With a loud crash they fall down, limbs tangled together. "" Sehun curses and rubs his "Are you ok there?" He talked to Sebooty of course. Jongdae stands up slowly, only to fall on his knees "I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I HAVE DONE THE SEBOOTY WRONG!" In the back, Junmyeon smirks. "I...I'm going to buy you bubbletea for the rest of your life if you let me touch it again! I can't describe how it felt but it was like...like paradise! You were right, my is not worthy to be called an anymore. Will you pleasepleasepleaseplease give me another chance?"

"Sure, if you buy me a truck full of boba right now, I'll let you squeeze Sebooty once. Oh, and take Yixing with you, I'm afraid he will pee in the dorm."

As Jongdae has finally left with Yixing on a leash and Junmyeon is busy making a new shrine for Sebooty, Sehun flops himself on the couch. "Haaa, it's hard to be the owner of the Sebooty..." He pats his and smiles "...but it's also the best thing that could have ever happened to me!"

END