Watching over his stupid mistake, Bambam doesn't know where to begin.  Why would he say Jackson is in his heart, even if Jackson is, why did he have to say that? 

Just listening to himself insist Jackson holds a special place in his heart; he cries. No matter how stupid he feels, listening to the words continuously repeat, Bambam cries. 

Bambam remains watching the shaky fancam, even if he himself begins to shake from his lack of energy to cry anymore, his tears continue to fall. Bambam doesn't know why he's worried about Jackson's safety. All he knew was Jackson was in the Jungle, filming, and Bambam also knew that noise triggers animals' protective instinct. The thought of Jackson dying, or getting an injury no matter how minor, made Bambam panic. 

Just as Bambam was going to begin to pray, Yugyeom enters to the sight of his roommate's current state. Yugyeom pulled Bambam to lay down, while hugging his slightly older friend. Quite frankly, Yugyeom didn't understand why he loved Jackson so much. Well, he didn't understand his over thinking of Jackson's shoot. Only Yugyeom knew of Bambam's quiet breakdowns, including his sobs. Yugyeom didn't know how to deal with his friend's situation, and quite possibly he was going insane trying to resolve this madness that started a week ago. Yugyeom realized something, who better to comfort someone about Jackson then Mark? Mark understood Jackson's way of thinking, and could reassure Bambam, Jackson isn't a complete dumb . Yugyeom remains in their position, while he texted Mark using LINE. 

'Mark-Hyung,  could you come to our room?'

Almost immediately Mark replied. 

'Why?'

'Just come please.' 

Without a message sent back, anyone could hear the door hinges slightly squeak and the footsteps onto the creaking floorboard. The door opens and one look at Bambam and Mark understands, his eyes noticeably soften. Yugyeom looks up at him, and Mark dismissed him with the wave of his hand. Yugyeom slowly detaches himself from Bambam and creeps out the room, closing the door after himself.

Mark feels sorry for his best friend, and he doesn't fret having to comfort him. Yet Mark stays standing, peering over Bambam from afar.

Bambam sits up, looking at his hyung through tear filled eyes. Mark rushes to Bambam's aid, holding him in a loose yet familiar embrace.  Bambam bursted into more tears at the sense of familiarity. Mark allowed it, because he was sympathetic for his friend. Mark and Bambam stay like that for what may be an eternity to some, but only a few minutes to them. When Bambam eases down, he begins to tell Mark what's gotten him this way. 

"I'm, I'm just really scared Jackson hyung might get hurt. And I may not be able to see him," Bambam chokes on his own words; fighting his tears off of his mind.
Mark's eyes continue to soften at the latter, what could he say to Bambam to get him to stop crying? 

At the same time, the only thing running through Bambam's mind was, 'Does Mark think I am being immature?' 

"Jackson uses his common sense." Mark reassures. 

"He's just so carefree what if something happens?" Bambam contradicted.  Mark takes his phone out, dialing PD-nim's number without Bambam knowing. 

Mark asked for Jackson, and PD-NIM agreed to it before Mark could even finish speaking.  

"Mark?" Jackson's voice asked questioningly.  

"Hold on." Mark said hushly. 

Bambam is still drying his tears, his tear stains on his cheeks are still apparent. Mark just places the phone to Bambam's ear; Bambam expected music, because Mark always played music when the mood was down. Nothing, not even a sound. Bambam waits for a few seconds, and he sniffles back a few tears. Until he heard the voice he wanted to hear so badly. 

"Bam...bam?" Jackson's voice cracked but he didn't care.
Bambam suddenly got excited, but Jackson was frantically asking a question. 

"Bambam! Why are you crying?" His concern was easily noted and Bambam cried more. Mark was confused, but realized, Bambam was crying out of joy. Mark just side-hugged Bambam, Bambam leans into his hyung's embrace. 

"Jackson, you idiot!" He screams, but his anger isn't there, he's just happy he isn't hurt. 

Jackson is taken aback; there was no way Bambam was crying over Jackson, right? 

"I didn't know if you were hurt or didn't make it. Why didn't you call? Why didn't you, you..call?" Instead of hearing his anger, you could hear his sadness. 

Mark still held Bambam close, laughing at the Thai's scolding. Jackson quickly fights for himself, "I never meant to ignore you guys, just I was swamped, and there isn't good reception. I wanted to call, I really did!" 

"Okay..."

"I thought of calling you guys. I'm seriously sorry."

"You're lying." Bambam's gentleness disappeared, his voice was dead serious, but his disappointment even made Mark feel horrible.
"Wait..Wait a minu-" 

" you Jackson." Bambam hangs up. Handing his best friend the phone back. Mark may  just seem dumbfounded, but all the members could tell when Jackson was lying.

 And he was. 

Bambam cries even more with Mark hugging him. There is no way Mark would let Yugyeom sleep with Bambam like this, it's been a week.

Mark stands up himself, and bends over to princess carry Bambam and it doesn't even matter to Bamie anymore. Bambam just wants to die. 

"Why am I like this? I'm not even dating him!" Bambam asked hushly, but harshly. 

Mark stops in front of his door, he squats for Bambam to reach the doorknob. Reluctantly he opens the door, the existence of Jackson is made immediately. Jackson's stupid hats, the dolls and all the merchandise of Jackson. Mark places Bambam onto his side of the 'bed', hurrying to flip everything onto the other side where Jackson wasn't.  Mark lays on Jackson's side, his arm wrapped protectively over Bambam. Bambam is weak and vulnerable, Mark feels responsible because he called Jackson. Mark also knows that Bambam was angry about Jackson. 

"I just don't understand him! Why does he have to lie? He could be saying he is having a fantastic time instead of lying his off!" Bambam is rageful, yet Mark pulls him back in, it's good having a close friend like him to calm you down. 

Mark just hushed him and makes Bambam bury his face in Mark's chest; to muffle his talking. Soon, Bambam gives up fighting Mark, because it's pointless to fight against Mark if he put his mind into it, it will be done.  Bambam cries himself to sleep, and when Mark hears the younger's snores, his grip loosened. 

------
Early in the morning, the guys have to get up, and Bambam plastered on his smile per usual. He stares at Mark, and shakes him forcefully. 

"Hyung. Get up, we have to get ready." Mark groans random words in different languages, and Bambam shrugs it off. 

Until he hears Mark say in English of course. "Jackson, ing tell Bambam." Bambam's mind runs wild. 

Did Mark know why he lied, did he hold back on telling him? What was it? But Bambam realized
something, he should have earlier.  Mark only repeats old things, something from long ago, out of nowhere. Tammy thinks it's because his brain tries to refresh things. Bambam laughs to himself before shaking Mark even more violently. 

"Hyung get up! I'll treat you to ice cream later!" Bambam pleaded. Mark groggy gets up, half expecting Jackson to be sitting beside Bambam. 

Mark smiles at Bambam, seeing that he is more lively. But... Wait.. Wasn't he like this last week? He hides his feeling well. Mark thinks to himself. 

Jackson would be back soon, and Mark would sleep with Bambam til then, until these two confronted each other. Bambam was laughing at many jokes Youngjae told, the insults that he threw at Jaebeom. Junior yelling at Jaebeom for always trying to hit him, it was quite funny. 

Everything was fine, so far their day went well, just a lot of rushed things. GOT7 had gotten used to it. 

--1 week-- Jackson returns. 

Bambam is pacing Mark's room, biting his nails nervously. Mark's eyes are stuck to the Thai, watching the younger fret. 

"What if he comes home today, or tomorrow? He's coming back this week sometime! What if he wants to talk, I don't wanna talk!" Bambam insisted, stopping to turn to Mark. 

Mark just sighed heavily, "Bambam calm down! If Jackson comes today or tomorrow, he won't have a choice but to sleep on the couch until you want to go back. And besides, he won't try to talk to you if he knows you're angry." Mark claimed boldly. 

Bambam takes in his friend's words, somewhat believing every ounce of it. He just nods to Mark and tried to relax.  Bambam just lays onto Mark, releasing any left over tension. 

"Hey, if he does come. You'll be prepared." Mark pauses, testing whether or not he said the right thing.

"You'll always be prepared for that dumb ." Mark quickly added. 

Bambam just scoffs and nods, he's worn out from the busy schedules. All he really wants to do is sleep, and no one could get in the way of that, well almost no one. 

"Guys!" Jackson's voice carries through the entire dorm. The boys threw a fit when Jackson made his appearance, but Bambam refused to wake up.
A large amount of time had passed; the guys conversation carried through the wall, so Mark heard everything. 

Their conversation died quickly but on a high note, the guys agreed it was time for bed. 

Jackson knocked on his own bedroom door, not sure what to expect. Maybe Mark telling him to come in, or Mark just opening the door.
Though, neither of those things happened. Jackson just walked in when Mark didn't say anything. Jackson saw his favourite hyung holding Bambam close, and Bambam was sleeping peacefully,  but the tears on his cheeks glistened, making them painfully noticeable. 

Mark looked at Bambam before staring at Jackson. 

Mark mouthed, 'You made Bambam cry.'
Jackson frowned, and sat down. 

Mark was annoyed with trying to do this silently, Bambam was already sound asleep, may as well speak. 

" You made Bambam cry."

"How?" 

"Jackson you ing lied to him."

"I had to." Jackson confessed.
"Why? He's been weepy for a week." Mark insisted on his roommate to explain his stupidity. 

"Because I was scared I'd tell him I missed him." Jackson's eyes laid on the younger. 

Jackson's eyes soften, wondering why he would do this.   Mark motioned Jackson to leave, "He doesn't want to talk to you Jackson. I'm sorry. Just think about fixing this." Jackson crawled to Bambam, kissing the top of his head, whispering a quiet apology. Jackson reluctantly walked out of his own room, all his regret of lying haunted him the moment they left his mouth.  

-5 AM-

The entire dorm woke up because of Mark and Jackson's argument so early in the morning.

"You don't get it!" Screamed Mark. 
"The hell if I don't! I thought you knew me, then ing understand." Jackson quickly countered. 

Bambam stiffly woke up to the two guys butting heads. What could he even do to make them shut up already?

"You're being a idiot!" Mark insisted.  

"Then why is it your problem? I can't do it!" Jackson's voice cracked from all his anger. 

Mark sighed heavily almost ready to beat the out of Jackson.

" You are being a ing selfi-"
"Why do you even care?" Jackson immediately cuts him off. 

" BECAUSE YOU'RE BEING A JACKASS TO  BAMBAM!" The dormitory became silent. 

Mark doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship with Jackson, but
Bambam had been crying in his hold for a week. Mark had gotten closer to Bambam, and eventually he remembered that Bambam was his little brother. 

And if anyone would have hurt Joey, Mark would beat the out of them. 

Bambam realized why Mark was so protective, he was supporting Bambam in this situation. 

"What is it that could possible mean that it's your problem
whether or not I'm a jackass to him?"

"Because I've been taking care of him, for a week even when you left for roommate." Mark glanced at Bambam excepting the younger to be sleeping. 

To his surprise, Bambam's eyes were soaked with tears and it was obvious that he held his breathe in. 

"You can breathe." Mark said smiling at Bambam.  Bambam shifted to Jackson's surprise. 

Bambam's eyes were still watering. He sniffles. 

"Jackson." Bambam muttered quietly while pushing himself up to sit.

Bambam grabs Mark's hand, squeezing it lightly to ask him to leave them alone. 

Mark nods slowly, realizing it's probably better for them to work it out. Mark gets up after side hugging Bambam to give him reassurance. Yet, Jackson got a quick pat on the back. Mark shuts the door, hurrying to tell Yugyeom that their best friend was going to stop crying himself to sleep. Yugyeom high fived Mark and the two tried to hide their excitement from the others. 

Meanwhile, Jackson and Bambam were still in awkward silence. 
"How long have you been like this?" Jackson was the first to break the ice. 

Bambam gives a cold laugh, almost seeming lifeless. 

"About 2 weeks." 

"So since I left?" Jackson's wavering voice should have convinced Jackson cared for Bambam, but somehow Bambam had already convinced himself it
was an act. 

"I get it, you don't want to hurt my feelings, but you can just stop pretending to care about this. I know you think this fight is stupid. But you care about me, occasionally." Bambam's quivering pronunciation got Jackson's attention. 

"Don't say that." Jackson lectured. 

"Why can't I speak the truth? Are you that used to lying?" Bambam suddenly got very defensive. 

"Why do you have to be like this? Is it my fault for worrying about you?" Jackson suddenly battered.  

"How is lying "worrying for me", are you insane?" Bambam shouts. 

"How?" Jackson scoffed. 

"How? You're really asking me how lying to you about thinking about the guys is not worrying about you?" Jackson feels a heavy burden from the sudden burst.  "JUST BE STRAIGHT WITH ME! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TRY LYING?" Bambam is crying, and before Jackson could hug him Bambam pulls away. 

Bambam's eyes are full of betrayal, and uncertainty, Jackson has a regretful face on. One look at Jackson and Bambam begins to bawl, rather wail. Mark comes into the room without knocking, and immediately holds Bambam. Bambam lets his worries melt into the elder's touch. He wished that it was Jackson's embrace, but Mark was someone he could trust. 

"I was worried... I was worried of telling you about how much I missed you." Jackson struggled to speak.
"What do you mean?" Bambam's words are limited, maybe it's because he's worn out, but I think it's because he's taking in his words.

"I was worried that I'd tell you I only thought about you. Or how you'd take it."

"So you're right, I ing lied. I thought about calling you. But the fact is I didn't want to call.  I was too ing scared of myself." Jackson is fiddling with his hair, looking eternally frustrated.

"I don't care if you're too ing scared of yourself." Bambam spat. 

Jackson didn't know what to say. But Mark knew where Bambam was going with this. 

"Because I would have tried to understand." Bambam breathes in before continuing again. 

"What's so wrong about missing me?" Bambam asked, his arms tightening around Mark's neck but his interlocking fingers seem to give out slightly. 

Mark smiled to himself, his baby brother, his dongsaeng was finally realizing that for once,someone loved him more than he expected. Because, Mark knew, Mark even believed that Bambam was always meant to be with Jackson. So Mark was comfortable with leaving again, knowing full well that the next time Bambam broke down, Jackson would be there to catch the pieces. Mark watched as Bambam's arms flopped to the ground, Bambam not showing signs of caring at all. Mark tip toed out, while the two stared intensely at each other.

Jackson heavily sighed, "I was only afraid of telling you why I missed you.. Or when I started to." Jackson looks down embarrassed. His crush is willing to hear him out, but he was too afraid to even make eye contact. 

"What's so wrong about missing someone you care about? The day I started to miss you was since the day you left me. The day you told me that it was almost virtually impossible to get an injury with all the staff there. The day you hugged me, and let go." Jackson summoned all the courage he could scramble in a hurry just to connect eyes with Bambam, and wipe his tears away slowly.

"You let go of me. And came back with our big fight weighing over your shoulders!  You did this yourself." Bambam persisted. 

"I care for you!" Jackson shouted at him. 

"So.. What?" Bambam said, of course he didn't mean to sound cold, no he never would have. 

"I allowed you to go, I let you, let me go." Bambam muttered. 

"You let me go, and left me to deal with it alone. Not a single call, not a single ring from the damn phone. What's so hard with pressing 5, I know I'm speed dial number 5." 

"1 is Voice mail,  2 is your mom, 3 is your dad, and 4 is your grandma, and 5. 5 is me. But why couldn't you take the time to press 5, and wait for me to pick up? I WOULD HAVE GONE OUT OF MY WAY TO TALK TO YOU. I WANTED TO ING RUN THERE JUST TO BE WITH YOU." 

Bambam slapped himself in the head, raising his hand to do it again, but fell short with Jackson interfering. Bambam slapped Jackson's head instead by accident, but he felt immediate regret. This wasn't something he'd do out of angry. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Quit taking words out of my mouth." Jackson said. 

"I wanted to call you so bad. I wanted to call and stay up all night just to hear your voice, and wait til you fell asleep just to hear you mumble my name every now and then." Jackson paused.

Jackson shifted to sit beside Bambam, placing a gentle arm onto his hip. 

"Or I wanted to hear you serenade to me, even if you refused to call it that. I wanted to hear you sing to me and tell me you loved me because it was the lyrics." Jackson sighed, feeling his tears almost fully equipped to become a waterfall.

"I wanted to listen to you mutter my name, to listen to your lips say I love you. I missed hearing you being there for me. I needed you to be on the otherline."
 
Jackson turned to look at Bambam prior to hearing him sniffling and let his tears fall off his face. 

"I'm sorry, but you only wanted to. And you didn't. You wanted to have me, but where was your courage to do it? I couldn't do it. I admit that, but that's because I wasn't allowed to. If you called, Manager-nim said we'd be able to talk because you weren't busy." Bambam's words were meaningful and full of many emotions. 

"I love you." Bambam muttered in Thai. 
"I love you too." Jackson replied with the same phrase. 

Bambam grabbed Jackson by the neck, pulling him into a hug. It was sincere and powerful, but was it what the two wanted? You bet your it was.

Bambam cried into Jackson on the shoulder, wailing and letting himself go. Bambam felt the love of his life's arms wrapped all around him, Bambam just wanted to tangle into him. 

The warmth he missed for so long returned, his world seem to reconnect, and the one thing he saw in colour was the one he loved the most. Have you ever heard of hearing colour? Seems impossible, but Jackson's relieved laughter was Bambam's colour. It was the one thing Bambam missed, Jackson Wang was drug addiction. 

Bambam was Jackson's disease.  Stuck in him and would never go away, how was Jackson supposed to leave him. Jackson turned slowly, his forehead pressed against the younger. Their eyes locked, Bambam felt his anticipation rise, but he was scared for it. 

Jackson pressed his left cheek on Bambam's Right cheek. Jackson plants the delicate kiss onto the plump lips he wanted to for so long.  Jackson feels Bambam try to return the kiss, and he feels content. The one he crushed on for so long, was as in love as he was.  Jackson let Bambam stop the kiss, so the latter felt like he was an equal. 

"I am totally okay with us dating in secret." Jackson suggested welcomely. 

"Good. But it doesn't matter, I'm going to tell Mark and Yugyeom anyways. They, well Yugyeom is a blabber mouth." Jackson just groans, but grants Bambam his approval. 

"Don't ever wish to do things again with me. It's do them or ing forget it." Bambam stated frowning cutely. 

Jackson smirked nodding, "I will never not want to be with you. Never. Thank you." Jackson kissed Bambam's nose, hugging the younger closer. 

No even wanting to think about letting Bambam go again.