Crack fic. Thanks for all the subscribers/comments. They make me happy. I haven't been feeling in a cracky mood lately. I hope this is okay. 

Why is it that the leader of SHINee has to moan when clearly Minho does it a lot more often? Does Onew have a thing for Taemin? Will the new girl give her mom what she wants? Will Jonghyun ever keep on his shirt around Key? Will Taemin realize that Minho's been teaching him not so innocent things that will ultimately get him in trouble? Will Minho become normal? Will the manager save SHINee? Will the lady in love with Onew ever hear him moan? WHAT WILL IT TAKE, ONEW?

Onew’s POV

Onew didn’t know how he managed to fall asleep after being smashed in the nose by Minho’s fist, but he woke up to find himself in Minho’s bed, alone. He sat up, wincing at the pain in his nose, and stared across the room at the bed where Minho and Taemin lay.

Taemin’s legs were intertwined with Minho’s, and the older boy had both arms around Taemin’s body, the younger boy snuggling up to him.

They so had something more going on.

Onew swung his feet off the bed, ignoring the pain rushing up his nose, and got to his feet.

He looked over in Minho’s direction once more, frowning at the recollection of the night before.

Jasmine had walked in on all three of them sleeping together, and then Minho had…jerked his hand into Onew’s face. And then moaned.

Minho had moaned, while asleep.

Taemin had rushed around trying to find Onew a bandaid, ignoring Onew telling him that seriously, Taemin, you can’t put a bandaid on a nosebleed.

Jasmine had disappeared before Onew could even clear the misunderstanding-what misunderstanding, there was no misunderstanding because nothing was happening and-

Onew wrinkled his nose at the sight of the bloody toilet paper that he’d fallen asleep with last night. He picked it up off the bed and sighed, glancing in Minho and Taemin’s direction, before making his way to the washroom.

After disposing of the bloody tissue, Onew stuck his head out to the bedroom to see if the two had-

…wtf

Somehow the two boys had switched positions, and Taemin was on top of Minho now, still evidently asleep with the shut eyes and the drool slipping from Taemin’s graceful mouth onto Minho’s…chest.

Minho was shirtless.

Right. Onew had gone to sleep with Minho while the other boy was in boxers.

Okay, just wash up and go downstairs, Key seems like he’s cooking. And maybe you’ll even get to speak to Jasmine!

With that thought in mind, Onew freshened up with a renewed spirit.

Jasmine was really pretty…

Key’s POV

Key felt smug at the fact that he had woken up before everyone else, especially that stupid the manager assumed they needed – who was making breakfast? HUH!?

Key shook the pan and flipped the pancakes, narrowing his eyes. They didn’t need a girl, they really didn’t.

He switched to the other pan, and flipped the eggs as well, annoyed.

The nerve of that , making such a ruckus last night. They were stars, they were idols, and she just stomped around as if she owned the god damn-

“Mmm, eggs.” Jonghyun’s voice entered the room and Key looked up to face the other boy, tousled hair and glazed expression. “I love it when you cook, Key.”

“Right.” Key bristled, feeling a little annoyed at Jonghyun too.

Jasmine, that horrible girl, had to have found them in the most compromising position. It damaged his ego, god damn it.

He wasn’t a bottom! All those fanfics out there had him as some submissive –

“I’m assuming our new maid didn’t show up?”

“Shut up, Jonghyun,” Key grumbled, hating the other boy for his continuous dominant role in all those fanfiction online. And once that stupid girl leaked it to the public that she’d found Jonghyun riding, because they don’t care much for technicalities, just initial assumptions, Key –

“Hey are you okay?” Jonghyun asked softly, and Key suddenly became aware of the fact that most of the eggs he’d been frantically stirring with the spatula to the point where half the eggs had fallen onto the stove.

Swearing under his breath, Key ignored the older boy and started to dispose of the now a complete waste of eggs, and then paused as a slightly maniac idea took over his mind.

“K..Key? Why’re you…laughing like that under your…breath?”

Key quickly grabbed a plate and slid the eggs that had scattered onto the stove onto the plate. He put it to a side, and smirked.

That would show her.

Key heard footsteps and turned around, looking past Jonghyun’s dumbfounded expression as he leaned against the counter, and saw pink frilly pajamas which were so last year because he had the same pair last year.

The girl looked upset, or deep in thought, and trudged past the two boys and flopped onto the couch with a thump.

Key smirked to himself, ignoring Jonghyun’s skeptical expression, and went back to making the eggs, tempted to cackle loudly.

There were some footsteps and then the loud creaking of a chair.

“Hey, Taemin? What was all that shouting last night?” Jonghyun asked, and Key was tempted to slap his forehead. Did Jonghyun really have to bring up last night?

“Onew-hyung started bleeding.”

Key frowned at this, and turned around to see Taemin, the younger boy stifling a yawn and then grinning brightly at Key.

“Is he…okay?”

“Yeah, Minho just smacked him in the face. Minho moves a lot when he’s sleeping.”

Key blinked.

“Why were you guys…sleeping in the same bed?” Key asked slowly, gripping onto the spatula tightly.

“Oh, we were having a three-“

“Shut up, Taemin,” grumbled a voice from the stairs, and Key looked up to see Onew, a towel around his shoulders, eyes narrowed dangerously as he looked at Taemin.

“Hyung! Did you sleep better last night?” Onew didn’t bother answering, but instead looked towards Jasmine.

Key turned back to the stove, furrowing his eyebrows.

Was Onew actually interested in the girl?

“So, who wants eggs?” Key called out, putting portions of the eggs onto plates, and piling all the pancakes onto one plate.

“You guys are all gay.” The girl suddenly said, and Key froze.

Onew made some sort of spluttering noise, and Key closed his eyes and took in a breath, letting it out slowly. Settling the plates on the counters, he grabbed the plate filled with the eggs that had spilled onto the stove.

“…So, you don’t want eggs, I’m assuming?” Key asked in a light voice, turning around, and facing the couch where Jasmine was sitting, not looking at any of them.

Onew had gone horribly red at the statement, and even Jonghyun looked a little flushed.

Taemin…looked just as carefree as ever.

Key never did know what ran through that boy’s mind.

The girl got up now, spinning around and looking furiously from himself and then to Jonghyun. She shot Taemin a glare and then landed her gaze on Onew.

“You! You, of all people, I didn’t think you were too, I mean I’ve read stuff but you were always the most-“

Key blinked. What had Onew done?

“I’m not, I’m not!” Onew hurriedly said, taking a couple steps forward and waving his hands.

“THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE A DVD THAT SAID TWO GUYS NO GIRL!?!?” Jasmine demanded in a high pitched voice.

Onew blanched, and Key let go of the plate in is hand, letting it fall to the ground and shatter.

WHAT?

Onew’s POV

There was no possible way for Onew to have gotten more red at that point. There was the noise of glass breaking, but Onew couldn’t even turn to see what had happened. He simply stared at the girl who looked at him demandingly for an explanation.

“I-I-“

“Two guys no girl? What’s that?” Taemin piped up, and Onew stared at Taemin. Didn’t Minho say that he watched-or was Minho screwing around with Onew like that too…?

Oh god. Screwing around. Wrong choice of words.

“It’s…a movie, Taemin.” Jonghyun said in a somewhat strangled voice, and Onew finally turned to face the other boys.

Key’s mouth was completely open, Jonghyun’s eye twitched, and Taemin frowned, looking curiously between all of them.

“That’s just…that’s just…” He stammered, unsure of where to go with-

“It’s mine.” Another voice said, and Onew felt a rush of relief when he realized it was Minho. Relief – not something he often related to Minho, especially recently, but in that moment it was alright.

Minho smoothly walked into the scene, walking over to the kitchen without glancing at the mess Key had created, grabbed a plate of eggs, walked past Onew who stood stock still, ruffled Taemin’s hair, past the girl who stared at him now, and sat down on the couch.

There was the sound of a click as the television , and everyone stared at Minho.

Except for Taemin, who bounced up, grabbed a plate as well, said something along the lines of Key cleaning up something without hurting himself, and then went over to sit next to Minho, eating happily.

Jasmine looked at Onew now, frowning.

“So those dvds weren’t yours?”

Onew numbly shook his head, and the other girl let out a sigh of relief that Onew couldn’t put his figure as to why.

“Well then, we should all eat!” She said, clapping her hands together and smiling at everyone, eyes lingering on Onew’s own for a bit longer.

Onew nodded slowly, and turned back to look at Key.

Key’s eyes were still wide, focused on Onew.

Onew assumed that he’d be the one to clean up the mess Key had made. 

Quite clearly, the boy was in too much shock to do anything else. 

---

Onew was sitting on his bed, looking over lyrics for the very song he had to do, and sighed, falling back against the bed. None of the other boys had said anything to him, and Onew had eaten the breakfast in silence.

And now he just felt more awkward than anything else. 

Jasmine had gotten a phone call earlier, and it had been curious, the way she winced at the call, before nodding at everyone, apologizing, and leaving.

He was somewhat worried.

Whoever had been on the other line sounded angry. Onew sighed, and looked at the script again.

All he had to do was moan, really.

He felt himself turn red at the mere idea, and looked away from the sheet to the door.

There was a knock on the door and he grunted, signaling whoever it was to come in.

A pause of silence, as he resumed his attention back to the piece of paper in his hands. It was also, only during the choruses... BUT WHY HIM?

“You can come in,” Onew called out exasperatedly, frowning at the lack of response.

He blinked when the door opened to reveal Jonghyun and Key. Jonghyun looked a little annoyed, and Key looked unsure of himself.

Onew got up from the bed, frowning.

“What are you-“

“Get back on the bed,” Key said, swallowing hard and stepping towards Onew.

“What, why?”

“I want you to get on the bed.” Key repeated, somewhat sternly. Jonghyun nodded from behind Key, half smiling at Onew.

Onew frowned.

“What do you mean you want me to get on the bed?” Onew knew he sounded cautious, but he could never be too careful these days.

Key gestured in Jonghyun’s direction, causing the boy to step forward, and clasp his hands together, cracking them.

“It’ll be fine, just let Jonghyun get on top of you and-“

“…what?” Onew cut off Key, blinking between both him and Jonghyun. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of-“

“Jonghyun’s going to make you moan.” Key said, and Onew wondered if he was imagining the blush on Key’s face.

WAIT. WHAT?

“What?!” Onew fell back on the bed, eyes widening as Jonghyun took another step forward.

“It’s a massage. I’m good at them.” Jonghyun said, simply, frowning at Onew. “You’ll enjoy it.”

“I’d much rather not!” Onew said heatedly, backing away from the other boy and jumping off the bed, getting to his feet and looking from a uncertain Key to a skeptical Jonghyun.

He fled the room only to have a hand reach out and grab him and pull him into another room, the door shutting loudly.

Onew spun around and faced the last person he wanted to see at that moment.

Minho.

Jasmine’s POV

“Yes, mom, I’m working on it!” Jasmine hissed into the phone, on the front porch of the dorm.

“IT’S TAKING YOU LONGER THAN I EXPECTED IT TO!”

Jasmine sighed heavily. It was the same conversation, looping around.

“They’re…there’s more to all of them than you’d know.” Jasmine said slowly, not really sure how to get across the fact that Minho’s gay was in Onew’s room, after she’d walked in on all of them sleeping together, not to mention Jonghyun’s topless self riding Key and-

“Are you not capable of this? Are you backing out? You know what that means don’t you?” Jasmine winced a little at the cutting tone in her mother’s voice, and thought back to Onew.

“I can do this, mom. Don’t worry.” She hung up before her mom had a chance to reply and sighed, fluffing her hair and looking up at the sky

She could do this.

But she would’ve given her leg to analyse the way Onew looked at Taemin.

There was definitely more to that then met the eyes.

And Minho – what was up with that guy…

She buried her face in her hands, trying to figure out if there was any sane way to put this together.

Then again, what was sanewhen it came to her mother that was obsessed with hearing Onew moan? Onew, a boy just a year or so older than herself…

A boy, who was probably in love with other boys…

Jasmine pulled at her hair in frustration, looking back up at the door.

At any cost, though, she had to make Onew fall for her.

She had to.

Even if it meant that she fell for him in the process…

Onew’s POV

“Hi hyung!” Minho shot Onew a grin before going over to sit down on his bed. Onew stared at Minho who sat, cross legged on the very bed he’d been on with him last night.  

“I’m going to-“

“You’ve been avoiding me, hyung! Especially lately!” Minho suddenly said, frowning. Onew’s eye twitched, and he almost wished Taemin was in the same room as him.

“I…uh…”

“And you really didn’t like the dvds? I swear I thought that…”

“You moaned.” The words left Onew’s lips before they even had time to register. Minho blinked at Onew, who felt himself get a little red.

“Excuse me?” Minho raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to a side.

“You moaned.” Onew repeated, god damn it Minho had moaned.

“…What..” Minho said slowly, still frowning.

“After you gave me a nosebleed, you moaned.” Onew broke gaze with Minho and looked back towards the door. He started to inch towards it, and then Minho laughed.

“Oh god, did I?” Onew looked back at Minho, who let out another laugh. “I gave you a nosebleed, hyung? Sweet.”

“I…what? What do you mean sweet!?” Onew demanded, utterly baffled by this point. “You gave me a nosebleed, in your sleep, and then moaned!”

“I was probably just having a dream or something. I didn’t know I gave you a nosebleed, I’m a pretty deep sleeper.” Minho shrugged, and Onew gaped.

“A…dream…?” Onew stared at Minho. Minho…had a … possibly wet dream, while lying next to him in nothing but his boxers…

“I’m pretty sure you have them too, hyung. Minnie told me how you got when he snuck into your bed.”

Onew turned bright red, and swallowed hard.

“I’m going to go now. Goodbye Minho.” Onew turned around, stiffly, and put his hand on the doorknob.

“Oh, Jonghyun’s actually really good with his hands. You should let him put those fingers to good use. Also, bring back my dvds if you’re not going to bother watching them.” Minho said nonchalantly, and Onew quickly opened the door and closed it behind him. He looked down the hall towards Jonghyun’s room, and saw Key and Jonghyun arguing, almost in a hushed manner over something.

He snuck back to his room and shut the door, softly. He noticed the dvds Minho had been talking about on the floor and picked it up.

“Two guys no girl.” Had Minho seriously picked this up, for his sake?

The door creaked open and he looked up to see Jasmine, smiling a little, walk in.

She proceeded to freeze, eyes narrowing down on what he held in his hand.

“I knew it!” She hissed, eyes turning into slits as she blushed a furious red.

Onew’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to-

The pretty girl spun around, and the door shut behind her.

Mouth still open, Onew stared after where she’d been.

He proceeded to fall to his knees and stare at the dvd still in his hands.

He was so getting Minho back for this. 

Not that great. I just felt like I HAD to update. Not in that cracky sort of mentality though :(. I'm still welcoming ideas. Let me incorporate whatever you want into this - it's a crack fic that I depend on to make me happy when nothing else does LOL. 

Love you guys. Reviews really do complete my life.