Had so much fun with this. I tried to make it make sense, but I was laughing so hard. I love writing this. There is no , really. It's just a crack/humour fic filled with some attempt of a plot because I need to write with a plot in mind. 

The ride home was fairly quiet. No one said anything to each other, and it somewhat unnerved Onew. Were they all serious about this?

Taemin kept sneaking glances in Onew’s direction, curious and thoughtful. Key was biting his lower lip, and Jonghyun was looking out the window. Minho was usually quiet anyway, but he too, had been intensely staring at him since they’d left the studio.

He didn’t like this.

The car stopped, and Onew started to get up, when Taemin, from where he’d been sitting next to him, jumped up and started to climb on top of him, over his knees, towards the door.

“Yah, Taemin, what are you doing!” Onew shouted in surprise, the smaller boy having crawled up, reaching in very obvious slow motion towards the door. He looked at Onew with wide eyes, the portrayal of innocence.

“I want to go out, hyung.”

“You could’ve waited! Get off me!” Onew felt his voice hit a high pitch, pulling away from the boy who had both hands on his knees.

“But hyung...” Taemin whined, and Onew felt something snap as he quickly shoved the boy back to the side, against the car seat with wild eyes.

“Don’t-don’t do that!” Onew stammered, and looked behind to see Key’s wide eyes, and Jonghyun’s amused expression. Minho’s stare had gotten even more intense.

Right.

Onew grabbed the door handle and opened it, almost falling as he stumbled quickly out of the van. He cleared his throat, remembering how soft Taemin’s hands had been, the slight pressure on his legs, and the proximity of the smaller boy’s body against his-ah, what are you thinking!

He hurried forwards, towards their dorm, pulling out his keys and fumbling with them a little.

He heard the other members exiting the van, and quickly went to the door, stabbing the lock with his key-

“Was that your attempt to get Onew to moan?” Key suddenly said, and Onew froze, in mid turn.

“I was sure it would work! It always worked with Minho.” Taemin said, lightly, and Key made a spluttering noise.

“Wh-wha-th-“

“Ah, we should order chicken tonight!” Jonghyun suddenly said, and Onew blinked, turning around, his eyes lighting up and immediately forgetting what Taemin had just done.

“Really!?”

Jonghyun smirked at Onew, and he immediately regretted showing so much excitement. Key frowned at Jonghyun, and Minho continued to stare at Onew. Taemin scratched the back of his head, a confused expression on his face.

He pushed the door open and kicked off his shoes, hurrying up the stairs to lock himself up in his room.

They can’t be serious.

Manager’s POV

As soon as the boys had left the van, the phone rang, and the manager pulled it out, sighing heavily before opening it and putting it to his ear.

”Did you get the job done?”

The woman on the other line’s voice reminded him of a snake, hissing softly. Filled with lust. It kind of creeped him out, considering it was his sister.

“He showed some resistance, but the other members are going to get him to comply.”

“You better make him elicit those noises that I’ve been dying to hear…”

“…You do know he’s like 15 years younger than you…” The manager really didn’t like talking to his sister. She always gave him goosebumps.

“Age means nothing…his voice…making those noises…once that song comes out, I will listen to it every night…”

“It’s not really…a…” The manager cut himself off, and wanted to hang up. “Never mind. I’ll see if this works out.”

“You better…”

“Right. I’m going to go.”

“You know what will happen if you don’t make this work…I need to hear Jinki making those noises…that way I can match with him and it’ll be like we’re-“

“Too much information. Does your husband even…care that you’re so…obsessed with..” The manager wasn’t sure how to complete his sentence, very uncomfortable with this conversation he was having with his older slightly insane sister.

“He doesn’t mind…Jinki has always been my first love…”

“You…married your husband before SHINee even debuted…”

“THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT!” His sister suddenly shrieked, slightly hysterically.

The manager jumped and quickly hung up, dropping the phone as if it’d shocked him on the car seat next to him.

Poor Onew.

Onew yawned as he went down the stairs, having finished his shower. Minho had been sitting on his bed when he entered his room, head tilted to a side, and that intense stare still on his face. Did he plan on killing Onew for what Taemin had done earlier? No, there hadn’t been hate in the other boy’s eyes…just…Minho, staring. It had been a little creepy, so Onew nodded and quickly exited, leaving Minho in his room.

Minho slept in Jonghyun’s room, though. Why the hell was he in my room?

The sweet smell of chicken wafted up the stairs, and Onew breathed it in as he reached the living room, following the scent to the kitchen with a dazed expression on his face.

He stopped, still breathing the air and noticed Jonghyun, laying out the chicken on a plate, piling a lot on one plate.

“Is that for me?” Onew asked, dazedly, hand reaching out to grab a drumstick-

“No. It’s for Key and I.”

Onew stopped. What?

“Where’s mine?” Onew looked around at the table and saw two pieces of chicken on one plate, and one on another, and then an empty plate.

Normally he got the most…

“You don’t get any.”

Onew blinked.

“Eh?”

Key sat up, from where he’d been sitting on the couch and turned around, pointing a figure at Onew theatrically.

“You must beg Jonghyun and me to get the chicken!” he proclaimed, loudly.

Onew blinked.

Then there was a flurry of noises and some thudding as Taemin came into view from running down the stairs.

“Oh, chicken!” He hurried into the kitchen, past Onew, and grabbed the plate with two pieces of chicken, giving Onew a big smile, and running to where Key was, sitting down on the couch next to him.

“B..beg?” Onew looked at the plate that Jonghyun now had in his hands, piled with many pieces of crispy, savoury chicken, and felt his mouth water. “Bu..but you can’t eat all that…it’ll just go to waste…” The prospect of chicken going to waste was enough to bring tears to Onew’s eyes.

“Oh, Minho, you’re here! Here’s your plate!” Jonghyun grabbed the remaining plate that had had chicken on it, and walked out of the kitchen, handing the plate to Minho, who was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

Onew stood in the kitchen, blinking in shock at the empty KFC bucket and the empty plate. All empty.

Onew looked up, lower lip trembling, and immediately caught Minho’s intense stare, still directed at him.

What the hell!?

Onew looked to see Jonghyun and Key sitting on the couch. He walked out of the kitchen towards them, past the silent Minho with the staring eyes, and opened his mouth to-

“Mmmmm…” Key moaned, chewing slowly as he bit into the drumstick, looking up at Onew with his eyes halflidded.

Oh, that must taste good…

Jonghyun picked up a drumstick and held it under his nose, before holding it towards Onew, a smirk on his face.

“Beg!” He ordered, and Onew looked away from Jonghyun, back to Key who swallowed and let out sigh, a satisfied expression on his face.

Suddenly he felt a hand tug at his shirt and looked behind to see Taemin, holding a drumstick in his hand.

Onew turned and frowned, wondering if the boy was offering hi-

Taemin the tip of the drumstick, fluttering his eyes at Onew, before putting the tip of the chicken drumstick in his mouth, slightly.

What the .

“Yah, Taemin, that’s cheating!” Key suddenly said, angrily.

Taemin looked away from Onew, who felt a strange sensation of complete whattheness flowing through his body. Taemin blinked at Key, the tip of the chicken drumstick still in his mouth.

Onew shot the pile of chicken on Jonghyun’s plate one last longing look, before dashing out of the living room.

“You guys are all nuts!” He shouted, and bumped right into Minho, still holding the plate with the chicken on it.

It was as if everything had gone into slow motion. The plate shook when Onew bumped into Minho, and the drumstick of chicken fell, slowly, towards the ground.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Onew shouted, reaching out to catch it before it-

Thud.

It hit the ground.

Onew fell to his knees.

“Does that mean Minho-hyung won?” Taemin piped up from behind him, but Onew only had eyes for the piece of chicken that was on the floor.

“Ah, sorry Onew.” Minho said, in his deep voice, before crouching and picking up the chicken and putting it back on the plate. He looked at Onew, frowning at the blood that had rushed from Onew’s face, and stared at Onew, who was still staring at the spot where the chicken had been.

“Well, that was more like a cry of distress, rather than the moan of a girl having .” Jonghyun explained.

“Yeah.”

Onew straightened up, and Minho got up as well, still peering intently at Onew.

That’s it.

“You guys are all insane, and I don’t care what you do!” Onew exclaimed, pushing past Minho and running up the stairs.

He shut the door behind him when he entered his room and jumped into his bed, covering himself with the quilt and proceeding to cry himself to sleep.

“So, hyung, what happens when someone wins?”

“At this rate, no one’s going to win. He even denied chicken!” Jonghyun said, placing the plate still piled with chicken on the table frustrated.

“He even denied my aegyo.”

“Your..that was...you..you're aegyo was scary, Taemin, please don’t do that anymore.” Key said slightly panickedly, reprimanding the younger boy. “That was like…”

“Yeah, that was creepy. How did you learn that?” Jonghyun added, curiously.

Taemin looked over at Minho, who was pulling the skin off the drumstick that had fallen to the ground.

“Minho always moans when I do that with his-“

“WHAT?” Key cut in, eyes wide and voice jumping pitches that made Jonghyun wonder if the manager had, indeed, chosen the wrong person to make the noises.

“Ice..cream..cone..” Taemin slowly finished, fear on his expression from Key’s outburst.

Jonghyun frowned, and Key grabbed his chest, trying to breathe.

“This is going to be harder than I thought.”

“Ah, whoever wins has to treat everyone!” Taemin piped up, brightly.

Everyone stared at him.

“Th..what? That’s not a…that’s something the loser would have to do!” Jonghyun said, and Key finally caught his breath, sighing.

“Well, we’ll figure it out later.” Minho suddenly said, looking up from his plate dazedly.

“But that’s no fun! I want to know what I get if I make Onew moan!” Taemin protested, upset.

Key ruffled Taemin’s hair, a half smile on his face, eyebrows still creased.

“Whoever wins gets to have an entire day dedicated to whatever they want to be done,” Key suddenly said on impulse.

Taemin’s eyes grew wide.

Jonghyun frowned. “But that’s so lame.”

“OHMYGOSH, SO THAT MEANS IF I WIN, YOU’LL ALL GO TO THE ZOO WITH ME?!” Taemin gasped, excitedly.

Key blinked, and Jonghyun wanted to slap his forehead.

Minho absently bit into his drumstick, chewing slowly, and looking up at Taemin.

Key didn’t really know what Minho was thinking about, but he knew what Jonghyun and he were thinking: Please don’t let Taemin win.

TEASER:

“Good morning hyung~”

“Mm, good morni-TAEMIN? WHAT’RE YOU DOING IN MY BED?”

“Mmm, let’s sleep some more hyung~”

“GET OFF MY BED!”

---

“What do you mean I can’t eat!?”

“You’re going on a diet, Jinki!”

---

“What is this?”

“Chicken intervention.”

“But Key said-“

“Forget what Key says! You can have all of this!”

“W..”

---

“It’s late. What are you doing in here, Minho?”

“Here.”

“…What…”

“It’s . Let’s watch.”

“!?!@#??@#?!@#?$K!@#"

I really like writing Minho, right now. Normally he's the one I don't like writing much. Please review! I hope you like it loads, and thanks for the reviews and subscriptions <3.