A/N: I changed the storie's title. Yes, it has to do with the plot. And I know what you're going to read might not make any sense just yet, but it will in the next part so please don't stop reading. Also, there are little clues everywhere. If you're into that, have fun trying to find them and coming up with hypothesis.

Feathered = Covered, provided, or adorned with feathers.

~*~

“Excited?”

Sungmin looks around, his eyes scanning every corner of the campus; as much as he can see from where they are. Hyukjae can’t see his brother’s expression as he pushes the wheelchair. Though, judging by the way the younger fiddles with his watch, and considering his right foot has been jittering since they left the car, Hyukjae can guess the answer.

“Not really,” Sungmin says. “I try to be – because college! Who’s not excited about college? But … there’s just so many people! And creatures!” he adds as a group of fairies walk by them. The Fae turn to glare at them and Hyukjae hurries in another direction.

“Please, Sungmin, be careful of what you say. They’re a part of us now, whether we like it or not. You don’t want to get on their bad side.”

Sungmin makes a sound, something like a guilty whimper. Hyukjae hopes his brother is not going to shout an apology at the fairies. Attention is the last thing they need now.

“As if humans weren’t enough,” Sungmin complains with a hushed voice. “Why do we associate with these creatures, again?”

“It’s the new law …”

“Great. More people to make fun of me.”

Hyukjae pushes the wheelchair to the side and kneels in front of his brother, the snow crunching under his weight.

“They won’t,” he says. He hopes he sounds more convinced than he really is.

“You said that about high school too.” Sungmin crosses his arms and looks at him with accusing eyes.

Hyukjae disentangles his brother’s arms gently and takes hold of his gloved hands. “I know I said that, and I know it didn’t turn out true.” He sighs. “But I was a stupid teenager. I know better now.”

“What do you know?”

“I know humans are s; a considerable number of them anyway. They make fun of what they don’t understand. I’m not going to lie to you – like in high school – but from my three years-experience in college I can assure you people are more mature and laid back here.” Although Sungmin doesn’t look completely convinced, Hyukjae can see the mask of anxiety on his face starting to crack. “There’s always going to be a jerk or two who’s going to be mean – anywhere you go, not only in college.”

“I know that,” Sungmin mutters, looking down. “I should ignore them, right? That’s what mom and dad always say.”

“Actually, I’d say give them the middle finger – both middle fingers – and tell them to go themselves. But their advice is probably safer.”

Sungmin laughs, throwing his head back and shaking the wheelchair, and Hyukjae laughs along with him, happy to have made the younger feel better. Hyukjae has always loved his brother’s laughter: his voice raises in pitch and volume, the sound of it a mixture of cackling and choking; his eyes close, his mouth reaches his ears and his whole body seems to laugh along. The joy Sungmin feels in those moments, so pure and carefree, seeps through his skin and contaminates anyone who hears him.

Hyukjae feels the happiness as well, though for different reasons. He’s glad his brother can laugh out loud without a care in the world despite his condition and the difficult life he has to bear.

In moments like this, Hyukjae forgets he’s adopted. He finds it hard to believe there was a time when he didn’t know how to act around Sungmin, didn’t know what to talk about or what to say without upsetting the younger. It all comes naturally to him now, as if they’ve been together since the start – and he loves every second of it.

“Don’t worry about the creatures,” he says after his brother has calmed down. “I bet none of them will say anything about your condition. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because they know what it’s like to be looked down on. They know how hard it is to blend in. They know how much it hurts.”

“You’re right,” Sungmin says. “They have it worse than me.”

Hyukjae shakes his head. “It’s not a race of whose life is harder. It’s about empathy.” At least, he hopes so.

“Maybe someone will take me flying!”

“Maybe. Just make sure they bring you back down.”

Sungmin nods enthusiastically, his eyes shining. “I feel a lot better now, Hyukjae,” he says. “Thank you!”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Hyukjae smiles, squeezing the younger’s hands.

Literally, he thinks. But Sungmin doesn’t have to know that.

~*~

Having to mingle with all kinds of creatures proves to be less chaotic than Hyukjae expected. There are no epic fights, no bloody feuds – not a single face to face confrontation. Mainly because everyone likes to pretend the other doesn’t exist. Perhaps it’s best this way.

At first, every kin keeps to themselves; not even magical creatures interact with one another. Hyukjae finds the situation oddly similar to The Hunger Games, but, fortunately, without any murders – so far. The cafeteria is divided by districts. They have their own tables and no one dares mess with this administration; the Fae folk have dominion over the centre of the room, the werewolf packs gather at the left corner in the back, the shapeshifters are right next to them, the merfolk and other sea creatures have taken the right corner at the back, and the humans take up most of the front – the other categories, lesser in numbers, have their little space in between.

Lectures are interesting and entertaining, in Hyukjae’s opinion. The competition is hard, merciless; everyone is adamant to prove they are better than the other people, smarter, more hard working, more creative. Non-humans especially try their hardest to prove humans are exceptionally stupid (they are right most of the time). The only ones happy with this situation are the professors, who are relieved to have animated students, for once.

As months go by, the tension subsides; between the strange folk, at least. Creatures start opening up to each other, they are willing to form bonds and tie friendships. They leave their exclusives tables in the cafeteria and join others, they chat and joke around. Hyukjae thinks they have an unspoken agreement to ignore humans.

“Isn’t this wonderful?” Heechul said once, at lunch. “They hate us as much as we hate them. Everybody’s happy.”

“I don’t know,” Seunghyun argued. “I met some mermaids who were pretty willing to get to know each other better. If you know what I mean.” He wiggles his eyebrows just to make his point.

“You do realize mermaids lure disgusting, erted men like yourself to their deaths, right?”

“You’re just jealous you’re not the prettiest on campus anymore!”

Heechul smirked, that smirk of his that means he’s going to send you to hell. “The joke’s on you, my friend. While I’ll be trading beauty tips with the fairies, you’ll be fish food on the bottom of the ocean.”

Sometimes, Hyukjae wonders what exactly Heechul’s purpose in studying psychology is. He’s pretty sure the suicide rates would increase with his friend as a therapist.

Of course, there are many exceptions from the “humans are stupid, let them fall” squad. Werewolves and shapeshifters are friendly and have no problem in socializing with humans – probably because they are more human than animal. Humans also seem to like them more than any other kind. The other creatures come around too with time. Pushed, at first, by the obligation of assignments and group projects, both human and non come to realize the other is not so bad after all.

As for Hyukjae, he’s somewhere between ignorance and polite interactions. There are around one hundred psychology students, divided in two groups. The group Hyukjae is in contains five fairies, a nymph, ten lycanthropes and four shapeshifters (from whom Hyukjae stays as far away as possible). He has no particular interest in any of them, but if they happen to talk to him he will answer, because he was not raised to be a jerk.

As Hyukjae predicted, Sungmin is better off with the strange folk than with humans. In fact, his very first friend has been an Elf.

“Her name is Lirneth,” Sungmin said, clearly excited to introduce his brother to his new friend. “Isn’t she the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?”

Although wary, Hyukjae shook her hand with a friendly smile.

It’s hard not to like Lirneth. She is very intelligent and has a heart of gold. She is always by Sungmin’s side, helping him with any difficulty he might have. She is great help for Hyukjae too, who no longer has to his brother everywhere.

Lirneth is indeed unearthly beautiful, like all Fae folk. Her face is angular and sharp, and her skin is fair. She has mesmerizing, green eyes with spots of gold, reminding Hyukjae of sunshine peeking through the leaves of trees in a deep forest. Her lips are thin, always stretched in a welcoming smile. She has long, straight, ebony hair which she usually wears in intricate braids; but when she leaves it to flow freely around her face and on her shoulders, the darkness of it accentuates the green of her eyes even more.

Hyukjae often suspects his brother is trying to set him up with Lirneth. Which would be wonderful, except the fact Hyukjae feels like a bug next to the alluring elf and a relationship is the last thing he wants to deal with right now.

~*~

Spring comes and with it the university campus turns into a fantasy movie setting.

The warmer the weather gets, the more clothing gets shed. Wings are no longer hidden under jackets, beanies don't cover horns anymore, and short sleeves reveal unnatural skin colours.

The strange folk seem to like the weather change the best. They leave the university's hallways behind (and the human students along with it), hogging the outdoors instead. The Fae lounge on the grass, basking in the sun; their wings sparkle prettily in the sunshine. The werewolves take cover under the trees and behind bushes. Winter had been hard on them; many skipped classes for weeks, the cold compelling them to seek the woods and embrace their animal form.

Hyukjae loves being outside as well. Ever since he can remember, the indoors feel like confinement to him. He can't stand being surrounded by walls and ceilings, he feels as if he had wings and no room to spread them. Even in winter, the window in his room is constantly open, just to catch a little fresh air and feel less trapped.

"You're a free soul," his mother told him once, "and free souls are not meant to stay behind doors. There's something inside you that longs for freedom, Hyukjae."

Her voice was soft, amused even, and her fingers threaded through Hyukjae's hair as she said it. Despite the loving gesture, Hyukjae swallowed in fear.

No, there was nothing inside of him. Nothing at all.

~*~

It's a sunny April day - the warmest so far. Hyukjae decides it's time to leave the library, study outside instead. The upcoming Bachelor's degree doesn't allow him the luxury of simply lying in the sun. Although the pile of books he has to go through must go with him, Hyukjae prefers reading in the sunlight than by the disturbingly white light in the library.

He has two free hours until the next lecture. He stops by Sungmin's classroom to check up on him (his brother is safe and sound, cared by Lirneth's capable hands) and retreats outside, under a tree. The ground is cold and the tree's shade sends chills all over his body, but Hyukjae prefers the solitude over the sun bathing the benches along the alley. He wraps his hoodie tighter around himself and opens one of the many books.

He has read eleven pages when something buzzes by his left ear; reminding him of the only thing he hates about warm seasons: bugs. He flicks his hand at the offender without looking up from the book (he doesn’t even want to know what it is). He is granted a minute of peace before the bug is back. Hyukjae catches it from the corner of his eyes — and jerks away at the glimpse of something green and big. He can handle small bugs, but big ones are too much for his entomophobia.

In that short moment of panic, Hyukjae considers finding another tree. But a few students are already eyeing him curiously and he doesn’t need extra attention; the insect seems to have left, too.

He resumes his position, focusing back on the book. He steals glances every two minutes at first, just to make sure nothing is around him – or worse – on him, but soon information floods his brain and he forgets about bugs.

The bug does not forget about him.

Hyukjae freezes. The buzzing is back again, even closer to his head than before, and Hyukjae just might’ve stopped breathing.

Don’t touch me! Please go away! Please don’t— huh?

The closer the creature gets, the clearer Hyukjae hears it. It’s not the buzzing of a bug or an insect; it sounds more like tiny bird wings, flapping at an amazing speed. He is aware though that if it is what he thinks it is, he’ll never be able to have a good look at it.

The creature stops on his head. Very slowly, Hyukjae takes out his phone, brings it above his head, and snaps a picture. The creature flies away, but Hyukjae barely notices as he rushes to check the photo. The angle is slightly off, and the picture is a little blurry – he’s never been good at taking selfies; he can see it clearly though: a teeny, green bird, smaller than any animal Hyukjae has ever seen – and very adorable.

A hummingbird.

A grin spreads on Hyukjae’s face as he stares at the birdy. He feels sorry for chasing it away now. He wishes he could see it up close, not in a badly taken picture.

As if reading his thoughts, the bird returns on his head. It’s so light, Hyukjae can barely feel it.

Hyukjae picks up his forgotten book and goes back to reading, moving as slowly as possible. The bird shifts around in his hair, getting comfortable, and Hyukjae sighs, an amused, happy smile staying on his face for the rest of the day.

~*~

For the next three days Hyukjae keeps reading outside whenever he’s free. Strangely enough, the hummingbird keeps sleeping on his head. The little bird finds him wherever he goes somehow. Hyukjae wonders if its nest is somewhere around the campus. That doesn’t explain the bird’s strange behaviour though.

Every day it would buzz by Hyukjae’s ears, and fly around his head before settling in his hair; Hyukjae likes to believe it’s the birdy’s way of saying hello. Sometimes the bird would stay until Hyukjae left. Other times it left on its own accord, only to return later. Hyukjae doesn’t know much about birds, but he’s pretty sure they don’t usually behave like pets.

He decides it’s time for some research. After a few minutes of scrolling on Wikipedia, Hyukjae finds out hummingbirds are attracted by red flowers especially.

Is that it? He wonders, running a hand through his (very) red hair. Strange.

Hyukjae enjoys the bird’s company, he even looks forward to it. It’s strange, but he feels as if he made a new friend; one that doesn’t pry into his life, and that’s exactly what Hyukjae needs. He likes watching it fly about his head; there’s something amusing about the way its tiny wings flap continuously, so fast that all Hyukjae can see are flashes of green and blue. He wonders if birds have emotions, because this hummingbird seems pretty happy and cheerful. And why wouldn’t it be? It’s free to fly wherever it wants. Hyukjae wishes he could fly too.

Hyukjae wishes he were feathered.

~*~

A week passes. The bird seems to have nested in his hair.

Hyukjae takes it personal. There’s no way this bird is stupid enough to not realize Hyukjae’s hair is not, in fact, a flower – no matter how red it is.

He seeks help from a specialized person.

“Hello, Hyukjae,” Lirneth greets when he approaches her desk. Although she’s busy writing something and Hyukjae comes from behind her, she is still able to sense him before he reaches her. Hyukjae wonders if it’s some kind of elvish sixth sense. “Sungmin is at the cafeteria with my cousin. Don’t worry. He’s in good hands.”

“I, uh … I’ve actually come to talk to you.” He hopes he doesn’t sound as awkward as he feels. “I have a question for you.”

Lirneth puts down her pen and looks up at Hyukjae curiously. “Oh, my,” she says. A graceful hand moves to her chest, much alike to a maiden hearing something improper. “Sungming didn’t convince you to ask me out, did he?”

“What?” Hyukjae laughs. “No, of course not. I think he might start bribing me soon though.”

“I’ll think of a way to turn you down gently.”

“Please do. My heart is fragile. A heartbreak might kill me.”

Lirneth shakes her head, an amused smile stretching on her pretty face. She scoots further on the bench, making space for Hyukjae.

“So what is it?” she asks as Hyukjae takes a seat.

Hyukjae rubs his forehead, thinking of how to put it. “Lirneth, you live in a forest, right?”

“Most Elves do, yes.”

“That means you know much about nature and animals.”

Lirneth raises her eyebrows, her expression depicting a question mark. “I suppose,” she drawls. “Sorry, I don’t really see where this conversation is going.”

“Me neither, honestly.”

“Just be blunt, Hyukjae. I’m an Elf – a 100 years-old Elf. There’s nothing you can say that will weird me out.”

Hyukjae sighs, relieved. It was a good choice to come to Lirneth. “There’s this bird that keeps following me – a hummingbird. I think it likes to sleep in my hair. I’ve read hummingbirds are attracted to red and — well, you’ve noticed my hair. But it’s been a week already. I’m very confused.”

Lirneth purses her lips and stares at Hyukjae for five, long minutes. Eventually, she says: “Strange indeed.”

You don’t say.

“To be honest, I don’t know much about hummingbirds. I’ve never heard of one behaving like this though. They don’t usually come close to humans. Now, if you were some kind of bird-shifter—“

“I’m not! I’m human! I—“

Hyukjae swallows, shocked by his own outburst. Lirneth watches him with wide eyes. A few students turn to glare at them, and Hyukjae wishes the ground would swallow him whole.

“Hyukjae,” Lirneth says, voice appeasing. She opens , but doesn’t say anything more. Her eyes shift to Hyukjae’s hair, just for five seconds, her eyes widening even more. A quick, almost unnoticeable frown appears on her forehead; you might’ve missed it if you blinked. Hyukjae notices it though. He swallows again and unconsciously raises a hand to flatten his hair. “Right. Well, there’s only one explanation.” Lirneth goes on as if nothing happened.

“What explanation?”

“It’s not a bird.”

Not a bird?

Oh …

The revelation hits Hyukjae like a wrecking ball. He doesn’t even know how to react. He thanks Lirneth for the help and returns to his lectures in a daze. Only when he goes home and lies on his bed, ready to sleep, does the realisation kick in; and the storm of emotions along with it.

At first he’s angry. Once again, he has been proven right: shapeshifters are not to be trusted. They are two-faced, vile creatures, who take advantage of their ability to fool others.

How dare it play with him like that?! Is it personal? Did Hyukjae offend them in some way and this is them taking revenge? Is it even someone whom Hyukjae knows? Or is it simply a sick bastard with nothing better to do?

Triggered by that line of thought, anxiety slowly replaces the anger. Hyukjae realizes he has no idea who the bird is and what it’s trying to achieve by getting close to him. It could be just one of his colleagues playing a prank on him. But what if it’s someone who means harm? What if he’s in danger?

The thoughts keep him awake for most of the night.

Hyukjae falls asleep at the break of dawn. Even then, it’s a restless sleep, filled with nightmares.

He dreams of darkness and being lost in that darkness. He’s lonely and afraid, and he’s desperately searching for something. But it's hard to find something when you can't see, and even harder finding something unknown to you. He hears screams and cries, a woman weeping miserably; and the dark closes in around him, pressing on every part of his body. Hyukjae thinks he’s going to die — die suffocated by darkness. He feels his chest crushed by the pressure, and his lungs burning with the need for air. He falls to his knees, gasping for air, and the woman cries his name, over and over again, Hyukjae, Hyukjae, HYUKJAE—

"Hyukjae!"

He awakes with a start, agitated and confused. His eyes are wide open, but his vision is blurred. There’s a woman hovering above him - a stranger, he thinks, but her features are painfully familiar: the ginger hair, the full lips, and golden eyes that speak of a life Hyukjae has long left behind. For a moment he’s a child again, in his hard, cramped bed, and he gasps, scurrying away from the woman, away from the pain—

“Hyukjae,” she calls again, her voice dripping worry; also a familiar voice, but not her voice. Hyukjae shakes his head, eyes shut tightly. When he opens them he meets a pair of concerned eyes, not golden, but black – his adoptive mother’s.

“I— what …”

Seulgi throws the blanket off him – Hyukjae notices he’s soaking wet, along with the sheets – and sits beside him. Her arms wrap around his head gently, bringing it against her chest. She puts a hand on his cheek, and the other one starts caressing his hair. Hyukjae sighs, leaning on her with his whole body.

“I was passing by your door and heard you screaming,” his mother whispers. “Nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

Seulgi doesn’t ask, and Hyukjae doesn’t tell her.

When they took him in, the only thing Mingyu and Seulgi knew about Hyukjae’s past was that he run away from home because of abuse. It was the only thing everyone knew. Hyukjae didn’t tell anyone the whole story, never talked about the scars it left him. Not even up to this day. His new parents tried talking to him several times, and eventually took him to a psychotherapist, but not even the gentle and patient doctor could get anything out of him. They gave up after two months. Since then it has become a silent agreement between the members of his new family not to bring up the subject unless Hyukjae himself does it.

Hyukjae never does.

~*~

Hyukjae stops studying outside. He returns to the confining, stuffy library that he had come to hate. The bright neon still bothers his eyes, and the dead-like silence awakens an unsettling feeling in his guts (the soft background noise of the campus provided a good atmosphere for him). He bears with everything though. He'd take even worse than go back outside, where the bloody bird is probably waiting for him.

No, not the bird - the shapeshifter.

Because of them, Hyukjae can no longer walk around the campus freely. He watches his every step, always keeps an eye out (for what, he doesn’t know), and stays away from people who look at him longer than usual.

What’s worse, he can’t be around any shapeshifter without questioning their motives or wondering if they are his stalker. He avoids them at any cost, and only interacts if there’s no way out of it. Sometimes he’s being rude on purpose, only to keep them away. It works; soon enough, Hyukjae is pretty sure his shapeshifter colleagues hate him.

It goes like this for almost a month. Seunghyun, who has become good friends with a fair amount of creatures, was the first one to notice the change in his behaviour.

“Man, what’s with you all of a sudden?” he asked, genuinely confused. “I knew you’re not fond of shifters, but nowadays it’s like you hate them with a passion.”

“I do hate them,” Hyukjae grumbled.

“But why?”

Hyukjae shrugged, distracting himself by stabbing his food.

“Leave him alone.” Heechul was fast to take Hyukjae’s side. “There are dozens of creatures among us, one more different than the other. We don’t have to like all of them – or pretend that we do.”

Hyukjae would’ve thanked his friend for speaking up for him if he didn’t feel ashamed of his own thoughts and behaviour.

Thankfully, both Hyukjae and Sungmin have been busy with their studies to hang out together while at university. Sungmin has many friends among the Strange Folk, he likes them a lot, and he always talks about them. Hyukjae doesn’t want to burst his brother’s bubble with his personal issues. Then there’s also Lirneth, to whom Hyukjae hasn’t spoken since the awkward incident. He’s not ready to face her yet. He’ll probably never be.

Luck is not on his side for long.

One Wednesday afternoon, Sungmin suggests they spend their free time outside, just the three of them, to catch up. Lirneth is already leading his wheelchair towards the campus, but Hyukjae stays rooted to the floor, feeling like a black hole has opened inside his stomach. He wants to shout after them, tell them he’s not going outside, no way in Hell—but Sungmin looks so excited that all Hyukjae can do is bite his lip and lumber after them.

They settle at a bench under a patch of sun; Hyukjae and Lirneth sitting side by side, and Sungmin in his wheelchair, in front of them. The weather is chilly, even though it’s almost May. The sky is grim and grey with heavy clouds, the sun shyly peeking from here and there. Sungmin lounges in his chair (as much as he can with his upper body) enjoying the frail sunshine caressing his skin. Hyukjae glares at the tiny hole in the clouds, wishing for rain.

“So, my dear brother,” Sungmin says, “how have you been?”

“Sungmin, we live in the same house. On the same floor. Your room is right next to mine.”

“Doesn’t seem like it lately. You barely raise your face from books and papers.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get my B.A with high marks.”

“You just want to get the scholarship to leave the country!”

“Duh! Why else?”

Lirneth clears discreetly. “Do you always argue like this?”

Sungmin laughs. “Of course. It comes with being a sibling. Don’t you like to taunt your brothers? You have like ten.”

“Seven,” Lirneth corrects. “I have seven brothers. And I’m the youngest – if anything, it would be them taunting me.”

“That must ,” Hyukjae mutters quietly, not wanting to interrupt, but not managing to supress his surprise either.

“We, Elves, are kind and peaceful. It’s in our nature. We do not argue or fight with each other without a serious reason.”

Sungming scrunches up his nose. “That’s boring.”

“You call us boring, but we’d call you obnoxious. We have fun in different ways.”

“Fair enough.”

Lirneth chuckles, the corner of her eyes wrinkling with humour. The wind sweeps a few strands of her hair onto her face, and she tucks them behind her ear before gathering all of her hair over her left shoulder. She starts braiding it, her fingers moving deftly through fair strands. Hyukjae watches her, fascinated by the process. He wonders if everything Elves do seems so easy, and yet mesmerizing. When she finishes, Lirneth plucks a thread of grass from the ground and ties the end of the braid with it.

She turns to Hyukjae, eyes curious. “What are you going to do about English?”

“Hm?” Hyukjae looks up from her hair, distracted.

“Sungmin said something about an English test you have to pass for the scholarship …”

“Oh, that! Yes, I do have to pass that test, and my English is below average. But I was assigned a tutor so I should be fine.”

“A tutor?” Sungmin straightens in the chair, all eyes and ears. Hyukjae doesn’t even want to know why his brother is so interested by the topic. “A student?”

Hyukjae nods. “Some of the students getting their Master’s degree in English are tutoring for extra credit.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Sungmin clasps his hands together.  “Maybe you’ll finally get a girlfriend,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. The glare Hyukjae throws him has him chuckling nervously. “… or a boyfriend! You know I don’t judge.”

“Sungmin, seriously …”

“Okay, no romance for you,” his brother sighs. “Maybe you’re aromantic. In fact, I’m pretty sure you are.”

Hyukjae tries to swallow the lump in his throat and give Sungmin a smile.

I’ll be anything as long as it gets you to stop prying, he thinks, totally not-bitter.

Sungmin doesn’t seem to notice how uncomfortable his older brother looks. “Still, you can make a new friend. You need more friends.”

“I don’t need more friends!”

“Of course, you do. You have, like, three – that’s including Lirneth, who’s actually my friend, and excluding me because I happen to also be your brother.”

“What is this? ‘Pick on Hyukjae’ day?”

Sungmin finally notices the sensitive chord he struck and he shuts up for a few moments. He looks guilty, unconsciously pouting. Still, Hyukjae knows his brother is far from letting this go. He’s probably trying to come up with the right words. He does before Hyukjae can make up an excuse and go back inside.

“Hyukjae, you know I mean good,” Sungmin says, eyes big like a baby’s and hands reaching out for his brother’s. Hyukjae reluctantly reaches out his own hands. How is he supposed to resist anyway? “It’s just that … I don’t know if you’ve noticed this yourself, but you’re avoiding people.”

Of course, I’ve noticed. I’m doing it on purpose.

Lirneth discreetly gets up and leaves them to talk in private. Hyukjae wishes she hadn’t done that; now there’s no way he can escape Sungmin.

“It’s called social anxiety.”

“But you don’t do it only with strangers or people you just met. You do it with your friends too. You even do it with us – your family. That’s no social anxiety.”

“Sungmin, stop,” Hyukjae murmurs, pulling his hands free. “I can’t … talk about this.”

“But it’s not okay, Hyukjae!” Sungmin persists. “Every time you’re around people you’re wary and cautious and – afraid. That’s exactly what you look like: afraid; your eyes are darting around everywhere, you jump at the slightest movement, you stay as far away as you can, you don’t let anyone touch you.”

“You touch me all the time.”

“Yes, but it took you years to allow me to do it.”

In all honesty, Hyukjae had no idea he behaves like that. He doesn’t really think much when he’s around people. He knows he has to have his guard up all the time and that’s all his mind is occupied with. And the anxiety is indeed there, sending shivers down his spine and making his heart race.

“Hyukjae, I’m worried,” Sungming says, slowly, carefully. “What if it’s some kind of disorder or something?”

Fire alarms light up in Hyukjae’s brain, wailing so loud he can barely think anymore.

“I am not mentally ill,” he says, his voice cracking.

He knows Sungmin is only trying to help, he really does. But there are some things – some limits – that just can’t be crossed. His brother doesn’t know that; they never told him about Hyukjae’s life before they took him in.

In his rage, Hyukjae thinks it’s time Sungmin found out about it.

“You don’t know anything about me!” he says; his voice is quiet, but aggressive and it makes Sungmin flinch. “I had a life – before the orphanage, before you. I had a life! And that life did stuff to me so, yeah, I have problems. But I’m dealing with them my own way. And you don’t talk to me about it! Ever!”

Sometime during his little speech, Hyukjae realizes, he raised his voice more than he ever has. He had also got up from the bench and was now towering above Sungmin, who looked a little afraid.

Lirneth comes running towards them. “What’s going on?” she asks, looking from the fuming Hyukjae to the scared Sungmin with bewilderment on her face.

“Go,” Hyukjae says, turning his back to them. “Just go.”

When they’re gone, angry tears come out from Hyukjae’s eyes. He hangs his head back, staring at the sky in hopes of stopping them; but it seems they’re just starting.

A bird flies above him, high in the sky, cutting the horizon with its wings. He follows it with his eyes, wondering what it would be like to be one with the sky, to let it engulf him; to feel the wind blowing through his feathers; to let his wings take him anywhere. He wonders what it’s like to be free — and if too much freedom could hurt him.

The bird soars away, further and further, until it becomes only a dot. A second — and then it’s gone.

Hyukjae lowers his gaze, surrendering to the tears.

He’s not feathered. He can’t be.