「 ☼ dear everyone... //

「 ☼ what you gave me // apply closed.
dear everyone...
(  why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know?)
Haewon is ambushed as soon as he gets home - "M-mom," he asks, when he catches his breath, "I thought you - you'd be at work."

His mother smiles. "I made you cookies, honey," she admits sheepishly. "Your favorites - the ones with the chocolate chips and hazelnuts. In case you had a bad day."

Haewon shrugs off his backpack and hangs it up on one a hook, and gathers all the strength to smile as best he can. "I - they wouldn't d-do anything bad on the first day of school, mom," he replies. "I'll come down i-in a little bit. I have, um...homework."

His mother sighs. "They're putting too much pressure on you kids," she says, shaking her head. "Homework on the first day of school?"

"I-it's crazy," Haewon agrees, lying as best he can. "I-I'll be back down soon."

He sprints up the stairs and into his room, and sits on his bed, staring out into space. It takes him a full five minutes to process everything; as soon as he does, he scribbles an entry in his journal, almost forgetting to take the cap off of his pen before he starts writing.

Dear everyone,
If I wake up tomorrow and this page is blank, that means today was just a dream. I don't really know what I want to see on this page tomorrow.

Yours, Shin Haewon

Dear everyone,
The first day of school was not a dream. It felt like a dream, but it was real. It was real. I got to watch every single one of you walk into class 2-1 at my school, in my town.

And I just I mean, it was only one summer - the summer we all were seven. Do you remember all the fun we had in the clubhouse in my backyard? And all of the adventures we had, the six of us all together? Because I do - every single thing, I remember all of it. I don't think I could forget even if I tried. Every game we played, every world we entered, all of it's there in my head. I don't usually want to write all our stories, cause it feels like I'd lose something if I did, but I want to, now. It's not like any of you will want to talk

You can be anything you imagine when you're that young. One day we'd be pirates, the next we'd be explorers (I think I have all the maps we made, somewhere), or royalty, or robots, or elves, or we'd play games - that one picnic we had, when we split into teams and played capture the flag...we got so competitive. And we ate so much, 'cause my mom always makes so much food. She still makes her cookies, the ones with the hazelnuts and chocolate chips. I wonder

I wonder

Has everyone

Does everyone

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


I don't know. I really hope that nobody remembers. I want to be optimistic because I do, but now if everyone remembers they'll just be disappointed since I probably won't even be able to talk to everyone. And it's not like any of you will want to talk to me either. You probably saw what happened at lunch today. I mean, it's fine. I'm used to sitting alone. And I saw you all got integrated into groups pretty fast. There's places that everyone fits and my place is alone.

It's creepy, but I looked around. I wanted to see where everyone fit and nobody was paying attention to me so I didn't get noticed. It didn't take long for you guys to find places where you fit in, so that's good. You guys are gonna have a really easy time at school so 



Okay

I almost just started crying.

I wish I could forget everything. Because now that you're all here, all these memories I've kept for so long, it's like someone has a key to the Pandora's Box of something that means the world to me and they unlocked it and now everything's out there and

And this letter is really stupid. I think I'll cut it off here. I don't know what I'm saying and I'm tired.

Yours,
Shin Haewon

Dear you,

I know I said in the letter to everyone that I hope you don't remember me. (I mean it's not like you'll ever read it, except in my imagination.) But I really, really hope you will. There's the scene that plays out in my imagination where you sit with me at lunch and smile and it's like nothing's changed. But that's whatever, I guess.

Yours,
Shin Haewon
author's note
( laura ) : oh my god okay. this ended up a lot shorter than i wanted it to but that's not the point.

so here we are, on october 18th. it's deadline day, yo, and unless i get any more extension requests, that means apply is closed. you'll notice some changes in format here - most notably in the chapter song section! yeah because i listen to music a lot while i'm writing. eventually i'll compile everything and put it on 8tracks i guess but for now you can click the sun and jam to my jams.

anyways uh so...what you gave me, right? what you gave me. this is a writing project i've been meaning to start for a while but i wanted to share it, so that's what i did - i made an applyfic. and i'm just honestly really excited. and this is my first time around the block but i'm gonna do my best.

the support i've gotten on this story astounds me and everything you've said about my writing astounds me. i feel like you guys are just being nice but if that's what you really think...wow. that's really. amazing.

and this...is shorter than intended. you'll notice bits in the forward in this teaser too. i promise chapters are gonna be longer though oh my god i'm sorry. but like anyways idk i'm gonna go to bed - i've got school tomorrow and also a headache so i'm gonna go to bed.

please hmu (hit!me!up!) if you want an extension because everyone deserves a chance right! right. ahhh. i'm excited. goodnight guys. love ya.
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Thank you!
zettai-
「 ☼ i'm REALLY SORRY i couldn't get ch. 1 out over thanksgiving and finals are like happening and i am made of stress but i s2g it's gonna be out before 2016!!

Comments

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kanqwu
#1
buddy i definitely know the stress of finals haha
yeah focus on your studies and hit us with something great for the end of the year
honestly, not even joking, i could wait years for this story
rojeulite
#2
omg i was getting worried
don't worry too much about this now. i bet we're all busy. i know i am. ; n ;
starting off the story when we're free from work load will be so nice.
NOW BACK TO FINISHING MY SEMINAR-
kanqwu
#3
weeps at ur status feed
i was really scared that you had left this idea so it's a huge relief that you're not
i'll be eagerly anticipating it!!
rojeulite
#4
/looks at story feed/
oh my gosh.
yes.
we're looking forward to it! :) i wish the best of luck for you and this story.
equinoxstar
#5
Chapter 9: im going to cry one of these days from one of haewon's journal entries istg--
but laura, bby girl, bravo, brava, just round of applause everywhere for you babe
like, this story concept, haewon, just everything about this applyfic/writing project of yours is about as close to perf as you can humanly get
its so unique and fresh and- why else do you think youre getting so many comments praising it and you?
i hope for head ache gets better soon ans school goes smoothly for you, and anxious as i am for this story to start dont push yourself just for all of us - we all got lives too so we get you :)
HANHYERICE
#6
Chapter 9: I SIGNED IN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN DAYS (i h8 school tbh lmao) AND I SEE THIS AND MY DAY FEELS GOOD AGAIN
ugh, i feel so bad for haewon whenever i read this, which shows what an amazing author you are. i really emphasize with his mom as well, because she's just so loving and caring yet there's nothing she can really do to protect him except show her support. ; o ;
i love haewon's journal entries as well, because they strike right through my heart? it's the right mix of emotional and angst without making it overtly cliche so props to you omg
i've said it before and i'll say it again, you're really one of the best authors on aff !!! i'm literally not saying this to be nice but i mean every word !!
AND I'M SUPER EXCITED FOR THE STORY TO START, GOOD LUCK TO YOU, LOVE, I'M SURE YOU'LL DO GREAT! < 3
ayowaddupkrease
#7
Chapter 9: I'm actually sad that most of us put that our characters would avoid everyone, because this is the direct result... But hey, everyone's gotta deal with their , so hang in there, Haewon! This whole "It's not you, it's me" kind of thing may take some head-bashing to overcome... Otherwise, your writing is superb! The journal writing stabs me in the gut because it's where he puts all of his emotions and it's all very stream-of-conscience. Soon, it is only a matter of time... I'm so glad that you're keeping up with the story and I wish you all the best in anticipation!
kanqwu
#8
Chapter 9: buddy this teaser
can haewon please let me live? he's killing me everytime i hear from him like why is he so precious. this teaser was just perfect i believe to be the last teaser before the whole story begins and i'm seriously so excited for this to kick off you have no idea
this is so cool that this is a writing project for you and hopefully you find the cast that you desire for it. i promise you that my comments are not just to flatter you. you have the most wonderful style, some of the best i've seen in a long while. and you're only going to keep improving throughout this whole process.
ah seriously i don't even know how i'm typing. i'm near to bursting with anticipation!
(also, that line of screaming in the journal. lmao i do that a lot as well when i write)
rojeulite
#9
Chapter 9: OHMYGOD I AM SHAKING
why does haewon have to be so precious, i can't- AAAHHHHHHH
IT JUST- WOW, I CAN'T KEEP MY CHILL. how can i make a proper comment if i can't keep my chill?
yo, but seriously, i was reading this as if like it was a book. i was covering the rest of the chapter with my hand because i didn't want to spoil myself. lol wtf i'm so weird.
these letters physically hurt me. his wishful thinking is just so- ;n; please keep hoping, haewon.
awh man, christmas came early.
iisMoMo #10
Chapter 9: lets go lets go lets go go go go!