It's with the vivid color of red and the fresh smell of blood still printed in mind that I opened my eyes.

Without missing a beat, I looked next to me, on my bed, and stretched out my arm to grab my phone.

Sliding it open, the date glared at me with its bright light.

July 15th, 20XX

My heart sank.

-----

Running breathlessly to the park, I couldn't even make sense of any of my thoughts but still, my instinct dictated my body to do something. Anything.

All to save my love, my Jaejoong, from his certain death.

It was only when I stood before him on the swing that I tried to think of a plan, of a mean to keep him safe throughout the day. Without an explanation, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out from the park in haste.

Following me blindly, he, not once, asked me what was wrong nor what was going on. He simply let me lead him wherever I wanted, trusting me and my judgment wholly. And I was more than thankful for him to not question my actions.

We ran and ran until I could feel the scorching fire in my lungs and my legs giving way to my weight. Seeing that my boyfriend was ready to faint, I tried to climb the last step of the stairs to reach my home and finally give him his well-deserved rest.

Why I decided to let go of his hand at that precise moment will always be a question that will forever haunt me.

Why did I suddenly grab air instead of my love's hand?

Why did I turn my head to see Jaejoong in mid-air, an expression of pure fear in his eyes?

Why?

In a fraction of second, my Jaejoong was in the middle of a puddle of blood--his own blood--at the base of the stairs.

Darkness took hold of my world.

-----

July 15th, 20XX

I rushed toward the park all over again after waking up. Jaejoong smiled at me when I reached the swing. Somehow, I couldn't bear to see him oozing out happiness when I knew all too well that later on that day he will die.

Remembering every single death that my boyfriend had to face, I felt my heart constricting painfully in my chest, welling my eyes with tears. I was almost on the verge of breaking down when I hugged Jaejoong tightly to hide the pain that was surely drawn on my face.

He hugged me back. Not the half-assed hug that an acquaintance might give you. No. The real deal of a hug that heals and clears up your very soul.

I love Jaejoong. And this is one of the many reasons I fell for him and would be willing to do anything for him. He knew I was off and that I needed that hug. He simply knew. It was almost second nature for him to decipher my emotions; he was a part of me. He was my heart, mind and soul, and so, let me ask you 3 questions.

How would you feel if your heart was ripped out from your chest?

How would you feel if your mind was being tormented by the sickening vision of crimson blood?

How would you feel if you felt your soul being dry out of your body?

Dead. You would feel dead.

I feel dead.

He died? I died too.

But what can I do to save him when Death seems to have taken a liking to him, seems to be so smitten with him that He has to have my Jaejoong all to Himself?

...

Today will just be another day where my love will die.

Once again.

-----

"Yunho~ Let's go get some ice cream, ok?" My boyfriend asked me with his soothing voice.

"... Would you rather if I went to the ice cream parlor to get some and return?" Please, I don't want you to move from that spot, I added silently.

"Nah, it's fine. I'm sure you'll eat half of my cone before you'll come back anyway" He teased.

I forced a smile.

"Are you sure? I swear I'm not gonna eat it" I said back.

"Huh, are you really that eager to be apart from me?" He asked me with a smirk.

Of course not. Obviously not. Hell no. I want to be forever with you, but it seems like I can't...

"... Tsk! And here I thought I could hide it. You got me" I replied playfully instead of my thoughts.

"Jung Yunho! You better pay for my ice cream after this!" Jaejoong jumped out from his swing and stomped off with a huff. I knew that he knew better than to be angry at my little chide, but I still felt uneasy to see him so far apart from me.

Scared that he'll be soon out of sight, I ran up to my pouting love and made sure to never leave the raven's side. But the other seemed to have the complete opposite idea as he began to run away when I tried to reach him. With a:

"Catch me if you wanna!"

My lover ran with all his might ahead from me. You have no idea how I felt like having a heart attack on the spot with that statement. Sprinting like never before, I ran while praying that nothing will happen in that short lapse of time that I'm apart from him. Call me paranoid if you want, but with the context, I have all the reasons to worry about Jae.

When I finally caught up to him, only an arm away from him, I heard a loud bang and all too suddenly, Jaejoong collapsed before my very eyes.

Again.

I dropped down to the ground, scratching my legs and my knees because of the speed at which I was going, chasing my now-dead-boyfriend.

Curiously, no tears dared to spill, no sobs left my mouth as I stared blankly at my beautiful love. Blood trickled from the gaping hole of the bullet that killed him.

I barely felt anything until I heard hurried steps running toward me. It was a policeman who spared an appalled face when he dropped his stare on Jaejoongie.

Apparently, a gang member was on the loose.

Apparently, the guy had an illegal gun.

Apparently, they tried to stop the man, but the latter, in an attempt to slow his pursuers, fired at them and everywhere else.

Apparently, a stray bullet killed Jae.

And apparently, my boyfriend died again.

I closed my eyes and felt the numbness take my pain away and I drifted off to darkness.

-----

15th July, 20XX

I woke up. I ran to Jaejoong on the swing. We hugged. I cried. Jaejoong was confused. He insisted on us walking next to the Han River to calm myself. Kids were running without seeing where they were going. They bumped on Jaejoong who rolled down and took a dive into the river. My love drowned into the river before I could do anything.

My heart sank into the dark pit of insanity.

-----

July 15th, 20XX

I woke up. I go and find Jaejoong. He dies.

-----

July 15th, 20XX

Jaejoong died.

July 15th, 20XX

Jaejoong died.

July 15th, 20XX

Jaejoong died.

July 15th, 20XX

Jaejoong died.

July 15th, 20XX

Jaejoong died.

-----

The time is still ticking away and I’ve witnessed more than 900 deaths.

When will it ever stop?

(@_@) (@_@) (@_@) (@_@) (@_@)

Hey beautiful people!

Sorry. That's all I can say.

Until next time, See ya Love ya <3