“People who are meant to be together will always find their way back. They might take detours in life, but they are never lost.”

Jessica knew Taeyeon was due to leave New York in 10 days. But there Taeyeon was on New Year’s Eve, dragging Jessica out of her office in a way only Taeyeon could and offering her coat in the most assholic manner ever.

When Jessica left home earlier in the day, the last thing she expected for to happen, was having dinner in Taeyeon’s luxury suite, which she was sure was paid for by the latter’s company. Why on earth would someone need such a big temporary living space all by herself, Jessica never knew. She could only imagine that Taeyeon must be someone of high importance to her company therefore they valued her enough for them to willingly lavish her with such accommodations whenever they send her on business trips.

The moment Taeyeon appeared in her office earlier that night, Jessica had thought she was going to die, of happiness of course. Taeyeon had been doing that a lot these days, coming to her office unannounced. There was no fixed pattern, she came as and when she liked. But it did not matter, as long as Jessica got to see her. On days where Taeyeon did come and forced-demanded-implied that they should have dinner together, Jessica shot up to cloud nine and refused to come down.

It all started when the higher ups in Jessica’s company decided on expansion and managed to score a partnership with an international corporation based in Korea 3 months ago. With the new partnership, it meant more work, more meetings and more overnighters for Jessica. The increase in workload predestined lesser sleep and she was initially not very enthusiastic about it, not until she realized that meetings meant seeing a certain Chief Financing Officer (CFO) Kim from the other camp.

CFO Kim caught Jessica’s attention right from the moment she walked into the conference room. She could not believe that Kim Taeyeon was standing right before her. Jessica did not realize that she was blatantly staring at the rather short CFO until her colleague nudged her in the ribs.

Jessica remembered that very first executive meeting they had, when all the important personnel from both sides were present to discuss strategic alliance. Taeyeon stood out, purely due to biasness on Jessica’s part, she was all Jessica could see. Jessica only had one goal in mind and that was winning over CFO Kim, even when she personally felt that she no longer was worthy enough to speak to Kim Taeyeon herself.  

You see, though a few of Jessica’s closest colleagues suspected that the brunette kind of had a thing for the cute CFO and made fun of her, nobody in the conference room that day was aware of the fact that Jessica and Taeyeon already knew each other. It was not the first time they met.

The first time Jessica and Taeyeon met was during their one year exchange program at the Imperial College in London. With only each other to depend on during their stint away from their families, they had become the best of friends and continued to keep in contact after returning despite attending different Universities back in Korea.

Shortly after their return, Taeyeon confessed her feelings and had been proactively making them known via actions and words- giving flowers, chocolates, gifts, throwing random cheesy pick-up lines, ‘bumping’ into Jessica after lectures- don’t ask Jessica how that happened when they studied at different campuses, it just did- and offering to send her home etc.

Jessica had not been in a relationship before and never did she have someone wooing her prior to this. Everything happened so suddenly, she did not know how to react, especially when Taeyeon threw in the 4 lettered ‘L’ word into the mix.

Things were made worse when Jessica realized that she might have started liking Taeyeon too. She was conflicted. Was she only feeling that way because Taeyeon confessed? What if she did not like Taeyeon as much as she thought she did? What if she ended up hurting Taeyeon by leading her on? What ifs. She could not understand why a genius with a prominent family background would take interest in a plain Jane like her who had to depend on scholarships for her education. In reality, Taeyeon was much better than Jessica in many aspects, Taeyeon would have done better, could have done better.

Jessica needed space to clear her mind but Taeyeon was persistent, she was always around. Confused and overwhelmed, Jessica’s senses were filled with conflicting emotions. But one thing for sure was that Jessica had been fully convinced that the girl deserved someone better than herself. Therefore, she rejected Taeyeon and started to push the poor girl away, only because she thought that by doing so she was being selfless. It was so that Taeyeon could find someone better.

As mentioned, Taeyeon was persistent, but there were things that should never have been said and there was always so much a person could take. There came a day where Jessica crossed the line and Taeyeon finally reached her limits. Jessica never saw her since, it was as if Taeyeon disappeared off the surface of the earth.

As cliché as it might sound, Jessica realized it was Taeyeon that she had always wanted all along only after she had lost the girl. Jessica Jung did love Kim Taeyeon.

It was some years later when Jessica found out that the Deans at Imperial College had seen the potential in Taeyeon and offered her a place to continue what was left of her modules with them not long after they left London. If Taeyeon had been hesitating on taking up the offer before, the issue with Jessica would have pushed her into accepting it eventually. It was what a normal human being would do- to get away from the source of pain. By the time Jessica got hold of that information, Taeyeon had long graduated and there was still no way she could locate the midget.

Years passed, and Jessica always prayed that she would meet Taeyeon again. She wanted to at least apologize to the person she had hurt so deeply, it was the least she could do.

8 years. It took 8 years for God to finally answer her prayers. It took 8 years for Jessica to finally see Taeyeon again.

Boy was she glad.

But of course Taeyeon did not share the same sentiments. Taeyeon acted like she never knew Jessica and was hell bent on not meeting her gaze even when they were seated right across each other in the conference room. The thing about the shorter woman Jessica realized, was that she bears grudges, even after a lot of time has passed- Taebear will be a fitting nickname for such a grouchy person.

Nevertheless, it did not stop Jessica from wanting to become closer and Taeyeon became Jessica’s motivation to drag her lazy out of bed every morning to get to work.

It was never in Jessica’s job description to run errands. But whenever there were morning meetings, which was almost every day for the first few weeks, Jessica made an extra effort to leave home 15 minutes earlier than usual so she could grab Starbucks on the way. When no one was looking, Jessica would sneakily leave the overpriced iced coffee on Taeyeon’s seat, iced because Jessica remembered Taeyeon never likes her beverages hot even on cold days.

That continued for roughly half a month until one day, Taeyeon burst into her office after working hours, hands in pockets and demanded to bring her out for dinner because she did not fancy ‘owing coffee money’. Jessica could not be any happier and had to resort to biting on her lips to prevent herself from smiling like a fool.

“For Taeyeonie? Who the hell writes ‘For태연이’ with a heart on my cup all the time? How juvenile. Get the hell out of your office in a minute and think of what you want to eat.”

It was brusque, and Taeyeon’s words somehow stung. But Jessica would take that any day as long as Taeyeon was no longer ignoring her.

That was the start of Taeyeon’s impromptu dinner appointments with her. It continued even after the contract was finalized and signed because Taeyeon was still in New York for some other company stuff Jessica did not know of. Within that period of time, Taeyeon’s icy exterior melted a little, though Taebear was still cold and sarcastic at times.

Despite the way Taeyeon behaves around her, Jessica had seen how the former would joke and laugh freely with her co-workers and that image of Taeyeon was how Jessica remembered her to be. It made her wonder if Taeyeon will ever be that way around her again.

--

“Is that food for us?” Jessica asked, eyeing the room service dinner on the table.

“Just you.”

Taeyeon’s reply was curt and short as usual but Jessica did not miss the shorter woman’s subtle way of showing consideration for her. It translated to ‘I still care about you’ in Taeyeon’s language and luckily for her, Jessica learnt to understand Taeglish.

“You’re not eating?”

“I ate.”

Taeyeon sat with her as she wolfed down her dinner.

“Is the food okay?” Taeyeon asked, eying the half eaten meat.

Using that as an opportunity to get on Taeyeon’s good side, Jessica offered her a few pieces of her steak and would not take no for an answer.

“Stop shoving your fork in my face. Get that thing away.” Taeyeon frowned, swatting at Jessica’s hand.

“Just once, Taeyeon. Come on, open up.”

“No.”

“Pretty please? It won’t hurt to take a bite.”

The sight of Taeyeon begrudgingly opening for Jessica to feed her was amusing, leaving the brunette wishing she had taken a photo of the Taebear moment. She had also not missed the way Taeyeon scrunched her nose in an attempt to hide her smile. Taebear was just too adorable sometimes.

When Jessica had her fair share of fun teasing and force-feeding the bear, she finished the rest of her meal quickly and found that Taeyeon was yet again staring out of the window at the view of central park before them.

“Taeyeon.”

“Hmm?”

“Nothing. I just like saying your name.”

Jessica smiled to herself, contented to just be with Taeyeon.

“You still have the Montblanc with you.” Taeyeon stated as a matter-of-factly after a moment of silence and Jessica’s smile faltered. “Why?”

“Here’s a pretty pen for a pretty girl with a pretty handwriting. A gift as an encouragement for nearly beating me during the last test. Keep up the good work Sooyeon-ah!”

Of course she kept the pen with her, used only for signing important documents. Why would Taeyeon think otherwise? The pen was precious and Jessica would not allow even a scratch on the pen’s case. It was precious not because of the monetary value but more so for sentimental reasons; it was all she had got to remind herself of the best friend she lost.

Did Taeyeon really not know how much that pen meant to Jessica when the former was the one who gave it to her? It was after all Taeyeon’s first gift to her as a friend.

Jessica’s eyes followed Taeyeon as the woman stood up abruptly and headed for the window with her back towards her. With the press of a few buttons, the lights in the suite dimmed.

Heaving a sigh, Jessica got up as well and stood by Taeyeon’s side, one step behind.

“Someone precious gave it to me so that makes the pen special.” It was the best Jessica could do the sum up the pen’s significance.

The figure beside her tensed and through the reflection on the window, Jessica noticed Taeyeon’s hardening expression.

“How precious was that someone?”

“More than you can ever imagine.” And Jessica hoped with all her might that Taeyeon would understand the meaning behind that one sentence. She needed Taeyeon to know. “And still is.”

Taeyeon snorted, shifted on her feet, and checked her watch again.

Right, someone wanted to watch the fireworks. 

Jessica let out a soft sigh at Taeyeon’s reaction, feeling frustrated at herself. Taeyeon did not seem to believe her. If only Jessica had been more careful with her words and actions then, they would not have been in such a situation this very day. If only.

Honestly, the past 3 months with Taeyeon had been awesome from Jessica’s point of view, even when it was her who did most of the chasing. There was the want to make Taeyeon laugh, the urge to be near her, the need to see her. To sum it up, she just wanted and needed her Taengoo, badly.

Surely Taeyeon felt something too, all the dinner dates and little actions that showed that she still cares…or Taeyeon would not keep coming back to her would she? Oh! And not forgetting the watch. Taeyeon was wearing it!

It had to be more than just paying back coffee money. It had to be.

8 years of not knowing where Taeyeon was and then suddenly having her back in her life, Jessica had gotten so used to Taeyeon’s presence that there was no way she could go back to living again without her. But when Taeyeon leaves in 10 days, what will she do then? Jessica did not know when it will be the next time they see each other. Will she have to wait for another 8 years? What if another chance like this does not come again? With those thoughts, she suddenly gained the courage, courage she wished she had years ago and did what her heart told her to. For once, Jessica wanted to be selfish when it came to Taeyeon.

So Jessica took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Taeyeon’s waist from the back, resting her cheek on the woman’s shoulder who had suddenly went rigid under her touch. When Taeyeon shifted, Jessica held on tighter, terrified that Taeyeon would leave.

No, she was not about to let go of Taeyeon again.

“Please.” Jessica whispered, suddenly overwhelmed by the emotions she was feeling inside.

She had not realized just how much she had been holding back the past months. Her eyes watered. The warmth Taeyeon was radiating felt so much like home. So, so, so much like home. She could not believe she ever doubted her own feelings for Taeyeon.

“It’s been so hard without you, Tae.” She finally admitted.

Jessica thought of the sleepless nights she had the first few months when Taeyeon disappeared so abruptly. She thought of how much it had hurt to not see and hear her, to not have her close by.

“I was young and stupid and I didn’t know what I wanted. You made it clear it was me you wanted, but I pushed you away, hurting us both in the process.”

They were both too young, too impulsive and too immature. On one hand, Taeyeon was excessively passionate and aggressive that it scared Jessica out of her wits. Jessica on the other hand, was too pessimistic and underestimated her own value, failing to see the good in herself that Taeyeon managed to see.

“I’m so, so sorry and I know sorry doesn’t cut after all I’d said…but I…” Her voice hitched.

Jessica shuddered, tears threatening to fall as she recalled some pretty harsh words she had thrown at Taeyeon.

“You were just a rival I had to beat in class. Nothing more, nothing less. Everything was a lie. I was only using you, Taeyeon. For my grades.”

“Affirmative?”

“Affirmative.”

The look on Taeyeon’s face as she turned away still haunts Jessica. Though Taeyeon only broke down when the door closed behind her, Jessica was there, listening on the other side as Taeyeon’s entire being literally combusted and shattered apart. Her own heart was shredded into little pieces as she stood there, wanting to go out and hold Taeyeon in her arms but her feet just would not move.

Never did Jessica regretted a decision so much after making a choice- it was that faithful day she lost not only what could have been a potentially awesomely beautiful first love, but also her best friend.

“I missed you every day, and now that you’re here…I can’t let you go again.” Jessica whispered, nose sniffling.

She jerked a little when warm palms pressed against her arms. Thinking that Taeyeon was going to pushed her away, she tightened her hold, not aware that she was actually suffocating the shorter person.

“Jessica.”

No. She did not wish for Taeyeon to speak, afraid of what the latter would say.

“I’d never asked for you to disappear. Nobody had your contact, they didn’t know where you went. I looked for you, was going to tell you I was wrong, take me back. But you weren’t there.” Jessica in a deep breath, almost choking on the mucus that were starting to accumulate. “You weren’t there, Tae, you weren’t there.”

“Jessica?”

Not Jessica. Please, stop calling me Jessica, Taengoo-ah.

“Sooyeon-ah.”

It was as if Taeyeon heard her thoughts- Taeyeon called her by her name! Name as in Sooyeon, as in the one Taeyeon used to call her. Coming from the shorter woman, ‘Sooyeon’ sounded so much better, so much warmer than ‘Jessica’. The fact that Taeyeon called her by her Korean name made her think that maybe Taeyeon had forgiven her a little after all.

“I can’t…I can’t breathe.”

Wait, what?

Oh, OH! Oh my God!

Embarrassed, Jessica quickly released her hold on Taeyeon, leaving a little gap between their bodies to give the latter some space. Instead, she held on to the sides of Taeyeon’s cotton shirt, hiding behind with her head lowered, and feeling very much like a child.

Taeyeon tried to turn, but Jessica fingers refused to uncurl from the fabric she was desperately clinging onto.

“Let me see you.” Taeyeon said, her tone the softest Jessica heard her used in the past few months.

“No.” Jessica sniff once, twice. “You don’t need to see me like this.”

“Are you crying?”

Jessica rested her forehead against Taeyeon’s back and shook her head slowly. She blinked hear tears away, trying to regain control of her breathing.

There was still hope right? Because this time, Jessica was sure of what she needed. The feelings were much stronger than before, and she was never this certain about her need for Taeyeon. So she asked, despite knowing that she did not have the right to do so, Jessica begged Taeyeon for a second chance.

“Please give me a chance to make things right for the both of us, Taengoo-ah. I know I lost the right to be worthy of your love years ago, but please, give me a chance to change that, take me back. Even if it’s too much to ask for…I will work hard to be worthy of you, cause I really…really can’t do without you.”

Jessica did not know how it happened but Taeyeon managed to get hold of her arm and turned her around. Immediately, she shied away from Taeyeon’s gaze.

A hand cupped her face hesitantly, thumb softly across her cheek, forcing her to look into a pair of dark brown eyes that were studying her intensely.

“Even if I’d changed?”

Taeyeon never did change, not in Jessica’s eyes, for behind all those Taebear acts, her Taengoo was still there. It was only because of her that Taeyeon built a wall around herself to prevent getting hurt a second time.

“Let me in. Let me mend you.” Jessica replied sincerely, hands moving to place them firmly on Taeyeon’s waist.

“I…you...” Taeyeon sighed and Jessica allowed herself to smile a little. She could see the woman’s resolve slipping. There Taeyeon was, her Taengoo, with no signs of Taebear anywhere. “Sooyeon was my everything, I don’t know about Jessica. But you, Jessica, you make me feel all sorts of things I don’t wanna feel.”

“Sooyeon.” Jessica corrected her. “I’ve always been your Sooyeon. So please, let us start all over. I don’t think I can live without you again. I need you.”

“Do you really mean it?”

“Every single word.”

“Affirmative?”

“Yes. Affirmative.”

The silence lasted for about 30 seconds or so as Taeyeon studied her face looking for any hints of deception, leaving Jessica feeling vulnerable.

“Sooyeon.”

Then it happened. Jessica barely noticed the sudden shift in Taeyeon’s eyes before a warm pair of lips pressed against hers just as the clock struck 12 and fireworks shot into the air, lighting up the dark sky. Such perfect timing. However, Taeyeon’s mere presence invaded all of her senses Jessica could barely hear the explosives going off.

There were none of those cliché time stopping, knee buckling, body melting bull always portrayed in sappy romance films. But what Jessica did feel was a sense of relief washing over her. It felt so right like everything had fallen back into place.

The contact was brief, just lips on lips and it left Jessica wanting for more when they parted. Taeyeon’s face was still so close Jessica could feel the woman’s breath on her skin. She wrapped her arms tighter around Taeyeon to draw them closer, this time, without trying to suffocate the shorter woman.

“I must be a masochist for still loving you.” Taeyeon whispered, eyes closed as their foreheads touched.

Jessica knew that she did not deserve this forgiveness. Taeyeon had forgiven her way too easily, but, “It has always been you for me too…It’s always you.” And she was going to give everything she had and do everything she could to deserve this second chance Taeyeon had given her.

“Stay with me tonight.”

Without a word, Jessica slanted over Taeyeon’s, a silent response to her love’s request. She was pretty much stuck there anyway since her car was parked in a hotel somewhere. Jessica did not even remember which hotel it was.

Under the fireworks in a dimly lit, super expensive suite room, Taeyeon and Jessica kissed over and over again, like they could never get enough of each other. Even so, not once did Taeyeon’s hands roamed Jessica’s body, they stayed where they were the entire time- one gingerly cupping Jessica’s face while the other stayed firm on her arm.

They only stopped when Taeyeon suddenly remembered about her fireworks and insisted that they watched it. Trust Taebear to make yet another appearance and spoil the mood. She just had to be an right down to the very last moment. However, with all the kissing they had done, Taeyeon only managed to catch the last few minutes of her pyrotechnic show.

As the last of those colorful sparks faded away, Jessica prayed that this would be the start of a brand new beginning for them. After all, it was a brand new year with a brand new start.

--

The first thing Jessica saw when she woke up later that morning was the underside of Taeyeon’s chin. The latter was still sleeping with slightly open. Somehow, looking at that scene made Jessica happy. Taeyeon did admit that she still love her and everything that had happened earlier was more than Jessica could asked for. Softly, without waking her sleeping bear, Jessica pressed her lips against the exposed neck in front of her.

But unlike a fairy tale, they do not live happily ever after.

Reality was that Taeyeon still have to leave in a matter of days, not to mention the fact that they were stationed at two different ends of the world and each had their own responsibilities to fulfil.

They still have many issues, many misunderstandings they had yet to straighten out between them, there was still a long way to go. Then there was also getting Taeyeon to lower her walls, earning back Taeyeon’s trust, learning to love Taeyeon the way she deserved...there was so much more Jessica had to do and it requires a lot of time, effort and perseverance. The road ahead of them was going to be very tough and challenging.

However, she was not going to give up; where she had been a coward in the past, Jessica was going to stay and fight for them this time, for their love and for their future, because after all, it has always been Taeyeon who her heart yearns for, who she needs.

“I love you too, Taengoo-ah.” Jessica mouthed, pressing another kiss, this time on Taeyeon’s jaw.

End

So, this is the end of It’s Always You! Taengsic aren't officially together, only time will tell, because sometimes life aint a bed of roses.

I personally like this chapter better than the first, hope you enjoyed it as well and thank you for all the subs and upvotes :) As usual, comments are welcome, I would like to hear your thoughts on the ending! 

On a side note, I caught a glimpse of Jessica while I was shopping with the darling at MBS on Thurs, was wondering why there was a crowd. LOL. Such coincidence! Didn’t even know she was in SG.

PS. I've seen some comments asking for an epilogue, but sadly, I don't think there will be one :( It's gonna be an open ending and it is up to you to imagine if they'll overcome the challenges ahead and get together for real. Though I might consider a sequel in the future, but that is if time allows...college gonna start in a few weeks again T.T