bits and pieces
broken (and beyond repair)AFTER 01
He turns the radio up and it’s playing her favorite song. As he speeds up towards the highway, she rolls down the car’s window, one hand stretched out with her head leaning against it, enjoying the cool wind blowing against her face. She’s got one hand over , giggling endearingly. He turns to look at her flawless profile, her doe-like eyes glowing and her hair a black waterfall in contrast to her pale skin. He continues to smile at the road in front of him, his hand itching to reach out and touch her soft face. Yoona is still perfect and he thinks everything’s almost kind of perfect now, really.
BEFORE 02
She sits down at one of the empty chairs the cafe has left, and waits for him to park his car, and she watches the morning rush of people groaning at the long queue, and zipping off to work as soon as they grabbed their cup of caffeine. Her eyelids threaten to shut right then and there, them wavering slightly closed, and her mind goes blank for a second before the voice from the caller pulls her back into reality. “Hey, are you still on the line,” the voice continues, “hello, hello?” “Oh s-sorry,” she pauses and presses her pale lips together briefly, “I know, I’ll be there.” Out of the corner of her eye, she catches his sheepish and crooked smile as the door chimes loudly when he’s arrived. She looks at the floor, at the counter, at her hands, tries to shake away the trembling fear that’s slowly sneaking its way into her head. She hangs up the phone hastily and shoots him one of her bright (fake) smiles. As he laces her fingers into his own warm ones, she freezes up, her back awkwardly straight. “Are you alright? You’re looking a little pale,”
he asks with genuine concern on his face. Something is screaming in the back of her mind but she reminds herself she needs to calm down, and she needs to tell him now– “Yes, yes, I’m fine, don’t worry, Sehun,” and she just needs to pretend everything’s all right.
AFTER 03
He pulls her out of the car after travelling for a few more hours and they marvel at the astounding scenery they have just discovered. The crisp green grass crunches under their feet as they run towards the hill together excitedly. Sweet is the pleasant scent brought with the breeze as it feathers across the defined curve of his jaw, a light caress on his fair skin. It starts to rain, the kind of drizzle that he thinks fit the picturesque setting they are in. They look up at the sky above them, it’s a palette of colors, a mixture of pastel blue and pale lavender and bursting amber, and how everything’s just breathtakingly beautiful. Her fair skin glows under the golden splash of sunshine. As the gust of summer blows away the last ray of sunshine, it stirs the dainty pleats of her dress while her chestnut-brown hair dances gracefully with the wind. His eyes soften, pools of the darkest shade of chocolate. He notices Yoona’s wearing white again.
BEFORE 04
She wakes up in the middle of the night, the ceiling too low and walls too close. It begins to pour heavy sobs from the obscure sky. Her breathing is almost irregular now; she’s taking deep breaths, in and out. Sweat streamlines down her face, it’s getting harder and suffocating to breathe, the pain burning, and the void in her heart makes her feel like a walking corpse. Her body is shivering as the cold howling wind bites at her skin. Her face now flushed red, shoulders shaking uncontrollably, and her thin body curved, trembling as if she’s about to break. A flash of lightning cuts the sky in half, warning her of a thunderstorm instead of a drizzle and imminent threat. “Sehun,” her voice resolute and unwavering, “let’s break up.”
AFTER 05
There’s this dream he has, only recurring on the nights when he’s alone and drunk in his car. He’s running in his dream, and a feminine voice from faraway calls for him. He’s already breathless and wheezing when he catches up with her. He knows it's always the same scene replaying over and over again. It's then he realizes he must wake up. Wake up, wake up now from everything because everything feels too unreal. "Sehun," a familiar voice which he recognizes breaks through, but when their eyes meet, he swears he has never seen eyes so dark in his life. And when he looks down, he sees his own heart in her hand, but he doesn't ask for it back because it's already torn apart with blood dripping down to the floor, coloring the smooth wooden floor with dark red. He doesn't feel the hot liquid streaming down his face, doesn't realize he's crying too. He just knows that he loves Yoona, and he loves her alot.
BEFORE 06
She meets his eyes and there’s just so much swirling in his dark orbs—longing, ache, pain and probably a hundred other unreadable emotions she can’t possibly list out. The door slams shut and the wind seems even colder than before, colder than she ever remembers it being as she watches the car drive away. She still isn't used to the bitter cold, it's the kind of cold that send chills down her spine. Her eyes couldn’t stop themselves from actually tearing up every now and then, but never when she's around him so that Sehun would always know nothing was wrong with her at all.
AFTER 07
He wakes up feeling awful. There’s a bitter taste in the back of his throat, and his throat is so terribly dry. He puts a hand to his pounding head and tries to shake away the insufferable feelings inside and the faded memories of what could only be his yesterday. He sits down in the driver’s seat of his car, and closes his eyes, head flopping back to lay on the headrest. He reaches for his phone and dials the number, but it's still the same “your call has been diverted to the voicemail." His heart falls and he laughs humorlessly as he listens for the nth time, "at the tone, please record your message, beep,” and his grip on the phone tightens, "don't go, please don't do this," he whispers, his soft pleads quivering against the phone's empty silence, "I love you, Yoona, I love you so much."
BEFORE 08
She yells back at him to get out as he pushes his way past her into the apartment, because what in the world is he doing here again, "we already broke up" she says it curt and aloof to him, as if it doesn't mean a thing to her anymore. He feels his heart clench in an unfathomable violence, and his jaw is tense when he asks her, "why are you doing this to me," and this time when her lips part again, her tone is actually full of something that he can't quite make out as she tells him, "just because." A painful silence lingers as he stares into her dark and cold orbs for a second longer, his mind is racing with all sorts of extreme emotions from disbelief to rage, and if hurt flashes across his face, he hides it quickly. She doesn't hear his loud "please don't do this" that gets lost somewhere in the empty gaps of her heart, instead she catches the muted "it's ing over between us" in the unshed tears that never seem to seep through her eyes, and she finally pushes him out of the apartment. When the door clicks, she thinks somewhere in there must be the sound of Sehun's heart breaking.
AFTER 09
And then night swarms in and paints everything black.
BEFORE 10
She greets him primly for the first time after almost half a year. “Hello,” he replies and their exchange of hello sounds like a start of a good bye. She cracks a smile that he recognizes in almost an instant as her lips curve into an achingly familiar smile but it's so beaten, worn-out and broken. She seems as though she hasn’t slept in years—her beauty appears suddenly so superficial, just a mask to cover up the wrinkles underneath. She looks back at him one last time to give him that frozen smile, and though his limbs ache to catch her and pull her into him, he relents on the urge. What Yoona never know is that he is willing to stay with her even when everything crashes and burns. His heart breaks in pieces when he hears her speak. “Goodbye, Sehun.”
AFTER 11
He doesn't remember anything when he wakes up, but she's back. He can’t help the smile that spreads wide across his face when he finds her curled up against his chest, wrapped up in the blankets they had bought when they first moved into this apartment. She stirs a little under his gaze, smiling up at him with her bright doe-like eyes. He wonders if he’ll ever get over how much she’s missed that smile. "Why are you looking at me like that,” she rubs her eyes softly. "I was afraid you’d disappear. You… don't feel real.” Yoona laughs and says, “That’s silly. Why wouldn’t I feel real?”
He doesn't remember anything when he wakes up, but she's back. He can’t help the smile that spreads wide across his face when he finds her curled up against his chest, wrapped up in the blankets they had bought when they first moved into this apartment. She stirs a little under his gaze, smiling up at him with her bright doe-like eyes. He wonders if he’ll ever get over how much she’s missed that smile. "Why are you looking at me like that,” she rubs her eyes softly. "I was afraid you’d disappear. You… don't feel real.” Yoona laughs and says, “That’s silly. Why wouldn’t I feel real?”
BEFORE 12
She doesn't smile at him the next time they meet, when he finds her in a white-walled room, full of the scent of disinfectant and sense of heaviness (Sehun lies to himself and says it's depression, but what he really thinks is death) and it makes him feel claustrophobic. As he manages his way to the bed with unstable steps, he stares into an unfortunate soul, her skin like newly fallen snow; mouth the soft fading pink of a rose. "Cruel, so ing cruel,” his cracked voice just as soft as a whisper, almost sounded like a plea racked with probably a hundred over emotions nobody could list out, and his whimpers are loud, louder than he has have ever been before. He doesn't know if it's the world which is shaking around him, or if he's shaking so hard that the world is shaking along. And Sehun doesn't realize the hot liquid streaming down his face, doesn't realize he's already crying too.
AFTER 13
He holds her hand in his, squeezing it reassuringly, as if reminding them of the promises they couldn't keep. His face is now flushed red, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. “I’m sorry, really sorry, I'm so sorry,” he says it over and over again like a broken tune to soothe her, who’s shaken, crying big, fat, ugly tears, hitting him relentlessly until she has no more strength left and staying limply in his chest, so fragile and delicate. He feels awful. For hurting Yoona, even when she's already dead.
BEFORE 14
She is there—and always been.
AFTER 15
But it’s not really her after all, just an indistinguishable replica of Yoona.
THE END
A/N: I'm glad that I'm finally able to complete the story after editing multiple times till I'm satisfied with the final outcome :> I'm submitting this as an entry to a contest, so I'd really appreciate any comments and constructive suggestions from my dearest readers! Please support and give lots of love to one of my favourite OTPs - Yoona & Sehun <3
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