Love Me

It was a gloomy day. The sky was dark and it cried as she cried, too. It’s been weeks since he broke up with her. It’s been weeks since she smiled. Her heart felt hollow and her eyes remained dull and emotionless. Leaning on the glass window, she glanced outside and watched the rain hit the ground.

Do you remember playing in the rain with me? She thought to herself. She glanced down at her phone and stared at the wallpaper. It was them smiling in each other’s arms. She remembered that day perfectly. The day where he first said those three words that she always wanted to hear. Just thinking about it made her smile for a split second until she came back to reality. She never understood why he left. They were perfect for each other and yet, he said that it wasn’t working out.

We have to break up. He said. Those words. It hurt her so much that she would start crying just thinking about it. She threw her phone across the room and let out a frustrating scream. She started crying again but the pain still remained in her heart. Why did he have to break her heart? Did he not love her anymore? Was the love gone? Did he find someone else? She wiped the tears off of her face and walked towards her broken phone. There was a huge crack on the screen but all she could see was his face.

Do you hate me that much? She thought to herself. She glanced around her apartment and her eyes landed on the couch. There was a red stain on the seat and she couldn’t help but smile. She remembered the first time he cooked dinner for her and he accidentally spilled red wine on her couch. He was so worried that she would get mad but all she did was laugh. He was never clumsy but for some reason, he felt nervous just being around her. Her entire apartment felt empty without him. Everything looked so dull and lifeless.

She scanned the apartment again and saw the crack on the wall. The crack that he made when they had their first fight. It was a petty fight, actually. He had this weird skinship thing and he was really flirtatious. She never liked the way he held other girls’ hands or the way he would wrap his arm around their waist. She remembered how angry he was because she would never believe him when he said that she was the only one. He punched the wall so hard, he made a crack on the wall and his fist started bleeding. He cried, for the first time, not because he was physically hurt, but because he made her cry.

Her eyes landed on the piano and she could feel the tears coming back. The piano was special to them. He loved how she could play any song and he would sing along and they would do that for the whole day. She suddenly remembered those times when she would teach him how to play the piano and he would intentionally make mistakes just so he would see her pout. She loved the way he would make her smile and laugh for hours. She loved the way he protected her from anything or the way he would intertwine his fingers with hers like it was a natural thing.

She walked towards the piano and sat in front of it. She closed her eyes and started playing a song that she’s been practicing for months. She promised him that she would learn how to play the song and finally, she did but he wasn’t there to see her play. She kept playing and playing until the tears flowed out of her eyes. She couldn’t finish playing the song anymore. Why would she? He won’t be there to watch her play. There’s no reason for her to play the song. Her phone rang and her eyes lit up. Could it be him? She was filled with hopes but they were easily crushed when she read a text message from her friend.

Meet me at the coffee shop now. There was nothing to do so she grabbed a jacket, her rain boots and an umbrella. It was still raining outside and the sky was getting darker. The coffee shop was only a few blocks away so she started walking. There were barely any people outside and the streets were quiet. Who would want to be outside in this rain? No one, of course. She was a few steps away from the coffee shop when she saw him. Her heart started racing and she could feel the butterflies in her stomach. He looked absolutely handsome even though he wore a sweatshirt and sweatpants. She wanted to say hi but as soon as girl ran towards him, she froze in her spot and couldn’t move. She watched them laugh and he pulled her closer to him

So she’s the reason why you left me? She thought to herself as she watched them. She wanted to look away but she couldn’t. The tears started flowing out again and his eyes met hers. His happy expression completely turned around and he could see the pain in her eyes. Before he could even say anything, she started running and she had no idea where she was going. Her vision became blurry because of the tears and she suddenly stopped. A loud noise made her ears hurt as she looked to her right and all she could see was a blinding light.

It’s been a week and a half since the accident. The funeral was over and he was helping her parents clean her apartment. He was there early and he was glad that no one was there. The minute he walked inside her apartment, an indescribable feeling filled his chest. He forgot how much he felt happy just being in that place. He glanced around and saw the crack on the wall. A weak smile formed on his lips and he touched the crack. Then he saw the red stain on her couch and started laughing. Tears flowed out of his eyes but he was still laughing as he remembered that moment.

He walked inside her room and saw papers everywhere. They were music sheets. He remembered how she would try to compose her own piano piece. She would sit in her room for days and sometimes, she would forget to eat or go out or even talk to him. He glanced around her room and saw a picture of them on the table. He picked it up and touched the picture. The picture was taken on her living room and she was sitting on his lap. They looked really happy and it made him angry that he was the reason she was gone.

He placed the picture back on the table and noticed a tape. He picked it up and played the tape on her TV. It was recorded a few days before he broke up with her. She was sitting in front of her piano and she looked really nervous. She glanced at the camera and smiled.

“Hi Jonghyun oppa!”

She said and waved on the camera. His heart started racing as he watched her take in a deep breath and exhaled. She closed her eyes and started playing the song that she’s been practicing for months. She looked so beautiful and peaceful when playing the piano. He bit his lower lip as he tried to fight back the tears. As soon as the song ended, she looked back at the camera and smiled.

“Oppa, I know I will never play this song in front of you since I get nervous so I just recorded it for you! Did you like it? I hope you did cause it’s for you! Oppa…uh…haha I really like you. No! Actually, I really love you. So uhm…yeah, I love you. A lot, actually! So yeah…bye!”

She said and the video ended. He started crying as he stared at the TV. She loved him so much but all he did was break her heart and now she’s gone. He lost her forever and the only thing left was a videotape. He glanced outside and watched the rain hit the ground.

I love you. I’ve always loved you and I never stopped. He thought to himself as he grabbed the tape and place it inside his pocket. She was gone and it was his fault. There was no one else he could blame beside himself. All she ever wanted was for him to love her but he only broke her heart. She was gone and now his heart was broken.