I have a cat
She's really fat
Her name is Lightning
Sometimes she's frightening

I have another cat
She's not quite as fat
Her name is Biscuit
She's just a nitwit

I have a sister
I haven't kissed her
And I don't ever want to
But I will if I've got to

I have a brother
He's like no other
His roommate's name is Ben
I think they should be boyfriends

I have lots of fish
I'd never serve them on a dish
Some are orange, some are blue
What color are you?

There's a plant in my room
It'd make a handsome groom
But we won't get married
I'd rather be buried

I've got this one friend
He's a real gentleman
But he won't text me back
What's up with that?

My mom likes to watch basketball
Some of those guys are really tall!
And some of them are really hot
Especially when they make that shot  ;)

Once I had a lizard
It didn't have a gizzard
I didn't feed it, and then
It turned into a skeleton  :O

I don't much care for dogs
When they poop it looks like logs
Ain't nobody got time for that
I'll just have another cat

Bruno Mars is my boo
I won't let him kiss YOU
He really knows that uptown funk
Life with him is a slam dunk

These are just some things about myself
I've never ever had an Elf on the Shelf
Hoya is my other boo
Just me and him and good ol' Bru