In this post, the groups of friends I have is Steve, Richard, and Tom ( and few other insignificant people in this situation. ).

Here goes; so there's this one boy ( Richard ) I really like, kind of obsessing about. Not like I'm stalking him, but I'm just kind of thinking a lot about him. Now you're probably thinking like, "Well why don't you just ask him out?" And you're right, I should, however in my current situation, I'm still contemplating if I should or not. Here's what's going on: So I have this "Wednesday Group", which is a group of really close friends that go over to Steve's house ( who is also apart of the group of course. ). Now I've known Steve since I was in about 3rd grade and our parents have known each other for a few years as well. Recently, I've learned that Steve has a crush on me, which I was told by Tom. I personally believe him and still think Steve still does in some ways.

Okay, now that we've set that down here's who's been on my mind; I really like Richard, a boy with ginger hair and freckles, tall and socially awkward but very funny. I've known Richard since junior high ( for me, that's 6th grade up to 8th grade. ) and we're good friends, it was only this year I've been starting to have feelings for him. I've been having dreams about him ( trying not to sound creepy, but that's really what's happening and it's to show how much of this is impacting me. ). My stress and anxiety levels are through the roof and I feel awkward when I sit next to Richard or look at him.

I really want to ask Richard out. However I'm in terrible fear of losing the close friendship Steve, Richard, Tom and everyone else in the Wednesday Group. I don't want to make things awkward between us and only want the best. But everytime I see Richard my gut keeps trying to push out the words "Will you go out with me?" and it's effecting my emotional balance. Another reason I refrain from asking Richard out is that I'm still wary about how Steve feels about me and since, Richard and Steve are also, good friends ( probably better than me and Steve, but not as close as Tom and Steve. ) and I don't want to disrupt their friendship. Not to mention the thing about "Guy code" that if one of the guy friend likes a girl, she's off limits to everyone else. As well as the fear of rejection, but I'm not stressing too much.

I've already come to a decision to just sit back and wait for things to fall into place. Maybe I might just move on to someone else or Steve might come out and say he likes someone else. Or that I'm just not really ready for dating. I'm still young yet, but when I do wait out, they ( past crushes ) have turned to being taken by someone else and it'd being too late.

I've been talking with my mother about all of this and she's been suggesting that we go do something together as a group, so that even if I don't ask him out now, I am still spending time with him. She's suggesting a movie, but I find it being a bit awkward even if I sort of do want to see one. But I'm also thinking about just hanging out at the mall and just chillin', but I have no ideas of what we could do since, well, I'm usually the only girl and I don't want to make myself ot them uncomfortable by shopping for clothes or something.

So here's where I need some help, Do you think I shoul really  just go for it and ask him out? Should I just tell him my feelings? I'm in deep fear of disrupting my friendship and really do not want anything to happen, but my feels are starting to become overwhelming.

Or should I just try to hang out with them? If so, what should we do? Any thoughts? Thank you for reading this long blog post, but it would be hard otherwise.