Everything's a blur now. I don't know how I started this but is it possible in going back to being me? It's just so hard. I break every time i saw him with her happy. But at the first place, why did he ever make me feel those things if he really don't love me. It just makes no sense at all. I just want to go back, rewind my life and hope everything's will be okay. I just want to cry now or tell someone about this but I know I don't have the right to complain. I mean she has a girlfriend and I'm just a girl.. in whom he treats like his girlfriend. I'm so stupid. I just don't want this anymore. It's killing me. I don't want my life to be miserable with a guy who don't even see my worth. I'm such an idiot for doing these things. From the start, I should have just not let my emotions ruin me. Just wanna ease away the pain. I hope I can start from being me again so that it won't hurt me anymore. And now, he's acting like he don't need me. This is all messed up. e. And is this real, cause I'm starting to regret all those things that happened to us. im stupid. astonishingly stupid.