i can't really put my feeling into words. the guiltiness inside my chest is killing me.

i can't stop blaming myself bcause this is really my fault. my biggest mistake in my entire life. till the day i die, i will never forget this mistake.

yesterday, i accidentally step on my kitty, KOPI.hard. i step on her, hardly. on her belly. and she hardly can get up after that.

last night, i can't stop staring at her sleeping face. she look like dying. and i really can't stop crying. and last night, i didn't get any sleep.

today, this morning she got up. maybe ahe went pooping. i feel a bit better. maybe she will get better after this. but no, she looks worser than last night. she sleep with her eyes barely close. and her breathing is uneven. maybe she have difficulty in breathing.

now, i can only hope and pray she will live. if she dies, i will never forgive myself.

kopi, please, get well soon. don't leave me.