My gut had been telling me that she wasn't going to make it, but I truly hoped that she would. My sincere and deepest condolences go out to her family, friends, and fans. They all remain in my thoughts during this dark time.

Now, I will be the first to admit that I did not know RiSe or Ladies'Code well. I only came to know their music after the horrible accident although they had been on my radar as a group to check out. I feel a great deal of guilt and shame that I put it off simply because they're a girl group. I could have spent the past year being a big fan, but I let my stupid bias and judgmental views prevent that. I robbed myself of knowing more about these amazing and talented girls and now, in a way, it's too late.

I understand what Taewoon meant when he said that love is better given when the person is still around to receive it. People attacked him, but he wasn't trying to be disrespectful. He was only expressing his grief in his own way. Besides, it's true. It doesn't mean that we can't love them after the fact or that the love we give won't bring comfort to their family and friends, but that person.... no, these people, these girls, EunB and RiSe, they themselves will never feel the love we are giving them now and it's a heartbreaking reality.

All the more heart-wrenching is this:

"Fans of Ladies’ Code also brought attention to a tweet that RiSe answered back on August 12, when a fan asked, “As the oldest in the group, which member do you want to take care of the most and feel the most nervous about leaving alone?” RiSe answered, “EunB!!!!!!♥″

I'm trying to take my tears and turn that tweet into a comfort. RiSe fought as long as she could, but she didn't want EunB to be alone so she went to take care of her. As someone who has experienced the devastation of losing their best friend, maybe I'm projecting my feelings onto the situation and I'll acknowledge that possibility, but it makes it easier for me to come to terms with all this loss. Now EunB will never be alone and RiSe will never have to worry about her because they'll be together forever.

I'm not fine, but if I hold onto that thought I know I will be.

#RIPRiSe #RIPEunB #PrayForLadiesCode #StayStrongLadiesCode #StayStrongLavelies