I was not a fan of Ladies Code.

Not because I disliked them, but because I never bothered to check them out. I had plans to get around to it, but I also had male idol groups to check out first. I came to a realization yesterday that has filled with me guilt and shame and made me really question some things about how I KPop.

But that's not what I want to talk about right now.

What this is about is that I feel terrible that I'm just sitting here waiting for RiSe to die when I should be positive about her recovery. The thing is, I truly believe that she won't recover and I can't pretend that she will. She suffered severe head trauma & underwent surgery for 10 hours before they had to stop because of brain swelling and low blood pressure. She still needs more surgery, but she's still unconscious, her brain is still swollen, blood pressure is still too low, and she's stopped breathing three times. They're already saying that it's a miracle she's still alive right now. So maybe, maybe, RiSe will pull through.
It's more likely that she won't and I'm already crying for her.

There are a lot of things that Ladies Code's accident and EunB's death have gotten me thinking about, but I don't know if I can put them into words. Things about the good side of KPop fandom and the bad side of my bias against girl groups. Maybe I'll be able to get my thoughts together. I hope so because I really feel like I need to get it all out.

For the time being, let's keep RiSe in our thoughts. She will probably never wake up, but I sincerely hope she does.
The family and friends of EunB and the other members of Ladies Code, their fans, and even those of us who weren't fans are going through so much pain and sadness already. Sojung, though she has regained consciousness and seems to be doing well, doesn't even know yet that EunB has died. She's going to need a lot of support when they tell her. So let's continue to come together as one big fandom to be that support.

Thank you.