It was grey outside.

The sky was a pale grim shade of dreariness. A pallor was cast over Seoul’s busy streets, making all the life and movement appear to him as ghostly slow motion imprints of another time. Even the noisy soundtrack of the city seemed to be muffled by the grey all around. Fat clouds the color of ash lumbered across the sky, swollen with the impending doom of a rainstorm. The threat hung in the flat, still air; air that felt like it was suffocating you bit by bit with every breath. Inside himself he felt as grey as the world outside and he found himself struggling to keep his shadows and memories from spilling out.

Two years…

Two years ago, on a day very much like this, he had said goodbye. Himchan still remembered the shock, the anguish, the anger… the betrayal. After everything they’d been through together, in the end none of it mattered. He had never expected it to come to that, never thought he’d be tossed aside in the name of honor and opportunity and a need to do something more with his life; something more than being with him.

“Why can’t you understand how important this is to me?”

“I understand that it’s important; I do. But what I don’t understand is… why now? Just when we finally decide to be open about our relationship and start   building a life together, all of a sudden you turn around and tell me that you’re ing off to England!”

“I’m not ing off-“

“You are! That’s exactly what you’re doing! You don’t have to go. You’re choosing to go. Did you even think about us?”

“This has nothing to do with us.”

“This has everything to do with us, Youngjae! Everything! We made a promise to each other. And now you’re leaving me! You’re choosing some sudden desire to show everybody how much ing smarter you are than the rest of us over being with me!”

“That’s not true! I can’t believe you would even think that. That is so… Look, I love you. I love you, Channie, but I have to think about the future. This is a full scholarship to one of the most prestigious universities in the world. I can’t just say no! I need to do this. I need… I need to follow my dreams and to feel like… like I’m doing something important with my life.”

“Aren’t I important?”

“Of course you are. You know you are. But it’s not the same. It’s just… it isn’t enough. I’m sorry.”

More angry words and accusations had been flung back and forth, hot tears had been shed, and in the end Youngjae had stormed out of the tiny apartment. It was over. Himchan and his love hadn’t been enough. His heart shattered when that front door slammed and that’s when the shadows began creeping in. The last time he’d seen Youngjae - the last time he expected to ever see him – had been the day all color drained from his world and the day he’d vowed to never allow anyone into his heart again.

It had been a day like this one, with turbulent skies painted dingy grey, that had closed off and hardened his once open and trusting heart. A day like this one had splintered him inside in a way he’d never known was possible. And it would be another day like this one that would reveal the true extent of the damage done by love.

to be continued in Chapter One...