I am legit just bawling my eyes out and mum's sleeping in the room next to mine but of course she's with her boyfriend so she just doesn't notice at all and i don't know how to stop crying...

i just want a hug and i'm clearly not going to get one because she's too hung up on him and ignoring everything else. like, is it bad that i don't want him here because i just don't think i'm ready to give up her attention and i know that sounds weird but being an only child i've never had to fight with anyone to get mum's attention and now that i have to i don't know how to deal with it.

like i know she's happy and everything with him but i just feel like i'm being shoved aside because right now they're in MY room and i'm stuck in the spare room and i get left behind when they go out and it's just making me feel invisible, like i suddenly don't exist anymore and i hate it.

is this a normal thing or am i just pathetic or way too dependant on her?

P.S - I'm basically in the middle of a panic attack right now and the above is a total word vomit.