okay, i have returned again to annoy so feel free to unfriend me 'cause i will really annoy you with my thoughts. this time, i'm a lot more calm and rational. all thanks to aya for listening to my rants. i love this angel. if she wasn't here to hear my rants, idk who will. aya, thanks so much. i love you baby. (/hugs you.)

okay, so, what other s do i have crammed up in my mind? a whole lot. so, okay. all this while i kept pressing on fans, how immature they are and blablabla. now i really wanna say something about kris and the judgements that float about due to his decision.

one of it, kris is a betrayer. okay, to you who calls him a betrayer, may i ask for proof? not once has it crossed my mind that he is a betrayer. i do get that we are probably taken aback since it is so sudden. though despite all that, if he is really a betrayer, he would have left a long time ago. if he really is a betrayer, he could've just left whenever but why didn't he? have you thought that? if he really wanted to leave, he would have done so a long time ago 'cause betrayers don't think of others, they're selfish.

that leads me to the second point, kris is selfish. i don't see this side on him at all. 'cause if he is selfish, he wouldn't take showers with tao who is scared. if he is selfish, he wouldn't spend so much money for his dongsaengs. if he is selfish, he wouldn't care for exo in the first place.

thus leading me to the third point, kris is inconsiderate. like the other two reasons, i don't see proof. if he is inconsiderate, he wouldn't have care for exo. he wouldn't care for you, his fans. he wouldn't give a damn of what the he does. but he cares and his favourite thing is exo, you and i know it. you're just crossed with him. how he decides to leave suddenly, without a mere hint and no single explanation. you try to patch up everything with your belief, making assumptions and cry out and simply blaming who you think is at fault. trust me, it doesn't work that way. it never does.

so, could you just throw away the hate you have? remember back what made you smile? 'cause you hurt not just yourself but others around you. i'm sick and tired of crying myself to sleep wondering what yifan is doing and how he is. i have my problems too and you might say i can turn my cheek on this issue, but i can't. why? 'cause i care far too much to let go. he is my source of happiness and maybe at one point, when he performed on stage, we are his source of happiness.

stop being so selfish and ignorant. stop being what you are labelling him as; selfish, inconsiderate and betrayer. stop all that . stop hurting yourself. stop hurting him. stop hurting exo. stop. stop. stop.

if i can't change your mind to stop, i don't know when you'll grow up and get over it. i don't know if you'll be able to get through it. maybe time will heal what reason cannot but i simply can't imagine the scars that you made on yourself and on others.

now, why don't you do yourself a favour and cry your heart's content to roy kim's 12 o'clock and maybe read the translation. it might do you some good or maybe not.

"darkness in my eyes but lights up the sky."♥