I'm so pissed... at myself.

Okay, so it's been 24 hours or so after the issue with Kris.

And I've been hell since then. Really. I'm stinking dehydrated, I don't have any appetite, Starbucks is the only thing running in my system, and seriously, I can't cry anymore. I know this is like, over the top, overreaction-ess but I'm just sad, and I don't mean to do all these things to myself. If it wasn't for my friends here and at school, I wouldn't know what to do. Okay, I don't think I should put what really happened to me the whole day, but you can ask me if you want...

So the reason why I'm pissed at myself is because idk anymore. My head is split into two. One of them is, "Kris I love you comeback don't go" stuff that involves buckets of tears.

The other is the one I'm pissed at. It's bad because it doesn't like Kris. I feel annoyed at him, now that I think about it. I don't want to judge him, and I don't want to admit this to myself either, but I think he's being selfish here.

He does this without saying anything to s, right before their first solo concert and they just came back! I just can't help but think about this.

What if the ig and weibo posts are true? I'm now starting to think twice about it now. Remember Tao's post? I feel that now. Not exactly betrayed, more like disappointed. The two of them are close, and if I were Tao, I'd feel the same way. They said Suho called him irresponsible? I feel like believing that now.

Now, do not and I mean do not, get me wrong. I still love Kris with all my heart and I want him to stay, I don't want EXO to separate. I just... maybe he could've done something better than this. At least tell the members first? Or give us hints. That would be helpful. Because now I'm more than scared. Terrified actually. If he decides to leave, i'll support him. I'll support him no matter what. It's just that I don't know what to do and what to believe. Actually, I believe in Kris. I believe that he could solve this mess because he's just awesome like that.

AND REMEMBER OVERDOSE? THEY CAN'T LEAVE RIGHT? EXACTLY. YOU ARE TRAPPED IN MY HEART, KRIS WU YI FAN.

 

 

 

so yeah.

i might have upset some people because of this

and i want to know what you guys think of it/me

basically, just talk to me.

I just want someone to talk to, my friends are all sleeping...

you can comment, post on my wall, or pm me.

if you wanna be anon, here's my ask

 
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Infinitrit #1
Tbh, i think it's the fans who is making it a big deal. A big fuss about it. I'd be tired and leave too, since the fans are probably tiring him, i mean exo can't do without someone following them anymore. Also i heard his pay was low and he wasn't treated right. If you did get low pay plus not being treated right i'm pretty sure u'd leave too. I mean we all complain about the teacher not listening to you or helping you, right? Or that the teacher likes an another student more than you, gets better scores than you because (s)he likes the student. We always complain about how much work and how tiring it is. I'm pretty sure being an idol is more tiring than going to school.
Imagine urself as Kris. Imagine how it'd be. It's not like he's dead, so why cry over it? He's just leaving exo, maybe coming back with a new career. It's not the last time u'll see him.
-jungdok #2
i feel you omg. my life suddenly went into a halt or smth because i was really sad about kris leaving. he's one of my biases.
and yes even though kris probably has a legitimate reason why he would leave, i can't help but think about the other members(especially tao that audio recording made me cry). i was delirious before but the reactions were actually pretty real considering kris probably did not tell s about the lawsuit. they would feel disappointed.
i'll just hope for the best. both sides need support.
Jonghyun321 #3
oops dont mind some of my spelling/grammar mistakes p:
Jonghyun321 #4
well thats probably what i'd do but my friends would think im being dramatic .-. and i agree with you. i thought he was being selfish and why should he do this, not thinking about the other members who also receives the same treatment? but there was another post someone made that got me to realize that his rights are being taken and hes the only one who is brave enough to do it out of the members. srsly like we all know sm treat their artists like and get them in slave contracts blah blah blah. and although i dont totally agree for doing it right now, its prob the right time to be speak about it and be bold since they still just came back with overdose. now, im not sure what to believe cause i keep reading that hes NOT going to leave, but just wants to change his contract or something but see tht he wants to terminate it in other places. also with exo ig accounts and everyone unfollowing him but baekhyun and how sm forced them to do it. im sure that they are really upset and since kris is important to them, it takes it even more to the heart. i bet that theres a small chance where they agree with him though because ,again, rights are being taken and theyre beig treated as "objects". i just hope he'll be able to get his contract changed, like taeyeon in 2010 or w/e like some other people say, and join exo with everyone forgetting about this incident. itd be awks and there'd be tension in the air with him and the rest of the group
autumndeer #5
i could not listen any of their song... all are suit to the situation..... mostly...
fanof-fanfic #6
All I can say is I feel you T^T
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