that's right i'm stuck in a rut. now I looked it up online and I noticed that being in a rut is dangerously close to symptom of depression. I'm always sad, my daily routine is to wake up dress and feed the baby, dress and feed myself, wake up my boyfriend for work, clean the house watch t.v. put the baby down for a nap, surf the web on my laptop, make dinner and go to bed. That has been my daily routine for the past 8-9 months and it's making me really, really sad. I followed my true love to this big house in the suburbs and it was what I've always dreamed of, but being a new yorker, i've noticed alot of differences that makes home, my home. In new york i had friends every where. everyone went out and talked to eachother. i always had somewhere to go and somewhere to be. If I needed to get somewhere, I would just take a bus and get there in like 30 minutes. I was comfortable with my neighbors and there was always something happening. Over here, people just keep to themselves. When I told on of my neighbors that we were moving, she tried to convince me to stay, that the people were really good people. That everyone would call everyone if something were to happen. She made it sound like this neighborhood was stuck in the 80's and it was a updated version of the Edward ScissorHand neighborhood. I always thought a big house mean a better life. sure the house is big, but I'm not really happy. I bet you're all thinking. "Are you crazy? I would love a big house in the suburbs." Are you sure about that? it's harder than it looks. you have to keep everything in order. you pay the garbage man to take your garbage because it's a separate company from the town, which takes your recycling for free. you have to maintain the outside as well as the inside, what with you boyfriend at work and 3 very small energetic children that wake you up at 5:30 - 6:00 in the morning. it's very hard and it's my life that I don't want to live in.