This is just an assignment I had to do for writing class and I figured I could share it. The names and some things are changed because- well, I just wanted them to and I'm sure my twin wouldn't want to be known by strangers. But this is my memoir and all of it is true. 

At only fourteen years-old I never expected to learn such a lesson in life. I never expected to learn of the unbelievable pain it felt to lose someone special. Sure, I lost people before. My grandparents passed away, but I was too young to remember. Other elderly relatives, too! But I was never close to them like I was with Alex.

It happened on the fourteenth of November. At first, it was just like any other dreary, fall day. School was exhausting for everyone and it dragged on, but by the end of the day the school bus heading back to the reserve to drop off all the native kids and anyone else that lived near, was completely full of laughter and heart-warming smiles.

The back of the bus was completely full and I’m sure the people in the front were more than annoyed at the loud bunch of kids. My regular seat was taken by my younger cousin, but I didn’t bother fretting too much on it. Instead, I sat with Alex. He cracked jokes and teased our other cousins. The atmosphere was the polar opposite of what it was like outside. However, as soon as we grew closer to home, Alex began to quiet down. By now he had put in his headphones and occasionally I would have to tap him on the shoulder to talk to him. The group of us was eventually dropped off at the same spot and we all said our good-byes before heading home.

I was at home for quite some time before my brothers came rushing inside. Because it was November the days were ending a lot sooner. The sky was darkening and my brothers were demanding my mom for the flashlights that she kept in the closet. Curious of the sudden commotion, I poked my head out of my room to hear my oldest brother talking to my mom. She had questioned his reason for the flashlights. What I wasn’t expecting was the reply; “Aaron and Barb are worried! They- AJ is missing and he said some weird stuff on Facebook. He was…he was last seen with his rifle.” That was when my throat constricted. Surely nothing was serious, right? I kept telling myself that. Over, and over, and over again. But a sudden beep of my iPod alerted me to a notification. It was a message from my friend, who was also a friend of Alex. They had been asking if Lauren, my twin, had heard of anything.

Lauren! How could I forget about my twin? Alex, Lauren, and I grew up together. The three of us had been inseparable and much like siblings. If he was really missing Lauren would know! “Does Laur know he’s missing?” My voice had been quiet as I asked. My brother and my mom realized I had been listening in and told me that she did. She was already out searching for him. I offered to help, but they turned it down. They said I should stay home in case Alex came here looking for us. I don’t know why. My mom could have done that.

Hours went by and soon it was eleven o’clock. Alex still hadn’t been found and I was becoming more and more worried. They wouldn’t even let me help! When I offered again my mom turned me down and told me to sleep or I’d be tired for school. Tired? School? Those were the least of my worries! Alex; my cousin who was like a brother to me was missing and potentially in danger! However, I did what I was told and I went to sleep.

Once waking up, I remained quiet. Lauren had come home just after I had gone to sleep. There was still no sign of Alex and they were going to continue searching for him. My twin and I didn’t really speak much. We got ready and headed to school. The bus ride was eerily quiet. There was no laughter, no jokes, and the only people that seemed to be in a bright mood were the kids up front who were unaware. I stared outside of the foggy bus window, chewing my lip nervously. I was sitting in the same seat Alex and I had occupied just the previous day. Something was wrong, I just had a feeling.

At school, the native kids seemed to be in their own dark state. We weren’t as cheerful. Occasionally, people who read the odd status updates questioned Alex’s whereabouts but none of us had the answer. I ignored everyone and was thankful when the first bell rang. I didn’t even get to settle down in my art class when an adult –I had seen him around the school numerous times, but never spoke to him– asked for me. I was sent outside where he informed me that my mom was waiting outside for me. My stomach dropped. My mom never came to the school. She was always getting ready for work by the time I was out the door. The man didn’t say much after that and only lead me outside. Kids working on posters lined the halls, but I kept my head down and as soon as I stepped outside of the school and saw my mom and her puffy eyes I knew something was definitely wrong. Lauren sat in the passenger seat in the truck, she was staring blankly outside. “What- What’s wrong?” I looked away from her and towards my mom. I already figured the answer, but I needed to know. Even if everything inside screamed not to ask. “It’s AJ…his body was found in the trail behind Aunty Kathy’s.” No. No! I heard it but I wouldn’t believe it. There was no way that my beloved cousin, my brother, was dead. I couldn’t control myself as I began sobbing. The man, whose name I still don’t know, stepped back to let my mom comfort me. I cried in the school parking lot for a while before crawling into the truck in between my sister and my mom. We drove straight to Alex’s house where the entire family was slowly gathering. By the end of the week kids started to hear about the death of AJ. I was constantly being asked the burdensome question of, “Are you okay?” Of course I wasn’t. He was dead and he wasn’t coming back.

Never had I imagined losing someone I cared so much for and at such a young age. We were close from day one. Alex was just six days younger than my twin and I. However, I was able to learn that I needed my family in my life. They were the most important people in my life and because of this ‘event’ I was able to form a stronger bond, especially with my twin.