GOODBYE

I at goodbyes.

Never wanted to say them to anyone because I know how it feels to be the one receiving it.  And damn. How much it hurts most specially when you can't do anything else but accept it.  It's excruciating.  Like your insides are being ripped apart.  Tears would just flow from your eyes.  Sometimes even wanting to scream out the frustration.  Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years may pass but you won't completely forget. Won't completely be healed by time.  It marks you for life.

It's been two days since my puppy died.  Two days since I saw with my own two eyes, how he valiantly fought to live.  How each intake of breath is an effort for him.  How he struggled to even try to move.  How he fell each time he tried to stand up.  How his tears fell along with mine.  How he looked into my eyes and took his last breath, as I tell him "Let go".

I am acting like nothing's wrong.  That everything's fine.  But every time I get to think of him, I breakdown and cry.  The truth is, I am hurting. Too damn much.  My heart aches.  it aches with yearning.  I've been wishing that once I get home, he'll be there to meet me. Like he always used to.  But I know it's only my memories of the time I spent with him that I'll have. 

I won't say the words "goodbye". Rather I'll say "Thank you".