It’s 11pm here and I need to sleep. Like, I’m so ing sleepy (and I haven’t figured out if I’m hungry or if I need to vomit) but like, every time I close my eyes, I think about that conversation I had with him.

I think about our little make-out session, I think about why the did I ing ask him to be my boyfriend.

Like, am I that ing desperate to have a boyfriend?

But then he tells everyone EVERYTHING what we were talking about. If he told them some parts, I would be somewhat okay with it but he told them EVERYTHING and I have no idea why the I told him about me anyway.

Like why the did I tell him that I was depressed/suicidal? Why the did I show him my scars? Why the did I tell him that I was going to send my whole family on him if he said no to the ‘boyfriend’ question? Just why the ...

I am never going to party again … or just drink but then again, the people he told are the ones that usually throw the parties/I’ll see them again if I do go.

Saying that I was drunk is just an excuse ..