OHMIGOSH WHUT I FINISHED IT

Okay. Firstly I'd like to thank all of you amazing bubblies out there, whether you're just reading the story, or even better subscribing and commenting! I love you all so much, more than I can say because honestly I didn't think I'd take this oneshot so far. I didn't really think anyone would like it, or my writing style, or the topic, or the emotions and feelings expressed through it, blah blah blah blah blah.

But you guys are all just wonderful and gorgeous because you inspired me to continue and you helped me pull through! It's just been a really exciting 'first story', per se, even though You're My XOXO (which I will start updating now that Just a Geek is over) was my first story I feel like this is my first solid one. If you're a writer too, you know how it is to come home and see those orange notifications and all your happiness explodes from the comments or new subscribers.

Really, writing this story is not about the comments or new subscribers, even though those were a perk. I had just wanted to share it with you, having no personal ties or connections with the plot whatsoever, despite how many well-written stories here on AFF have some personal meaning to the author. So I really hope the emotions of the characters, especially Kris's and Lay's, carried on correctly, and that I wasn't rambling on (like I am now). Again, thank you all so freaking much, a billion xoxos to you guys, and now we can finally pass through my idiotic wordspit and go to what you've all been waiting for:

Analysis *contains spoilers because I'm assuming you've all already read both chappies

This story was in present tense and contains two chapters.

Lay.

Originally when Just a Geek was only planned to be a oneshot, the story was depicting two characters, one a complete and the other selfless, self-hating and in-the-dark. Since this chapter was narrated from the one-sided POV of Lay, when Kris started growing apart from him he'd always thought it was his fault that Kris didn't want to be with him. He never blamed anything on Tao, because he just assumed the younger, taller boy attracted Kris more than he did. 

And, in the original version, Kris had just stopped loving Lay, thinking he had become clingy, demanding,and annoying. Kris was a shallow ignorant that had no character development or enlightenment (which was one thing he desperately needed.) Despite Lay never blaming Kris for anything, he had made Kris sound like the bad guy through the first-person view and had made you either pity him or think him a complete moron for still loving the "bad guy." 

This first chapter described Lay as being a complete mess. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore, going from a very orderly normal life on a schedule with a lover to downspiraling into an endless tunnel of depression, pain, and alcohol. He wanders around town, not doing anything, dropping by at the bar or suddenly running into the city wearing pj's when it's snowing outside. One might think him psychotic, or mentally ill (maybe he was), when really he's just missing his boyfriend.

Even though Kris has not technically broken up with him, and anyone else might've clung onto this as hope considering they loved their person as much as Lay loved Kris, this was not Lay's case. In this story he's a pessimist (with surprisingly good memory) and he recalls everything that had been good in their relationship at first, until it starts plummeting into bad--in a way, symbolizing how his life had become. Most of the story is through him and his memories, and where Kris and him had gone wrong.

The scenes where Lay sorts out the ties may have seemed out of place and not particularly important, but it was rather a significant twist of irony. He wanted to get away, to forget Kris and to stop thinking about him, when really his actions were of a game he used to play with Kris and his subconscious missing him, still wanting to cling onto their love. To have him hanged by the ties, especially the Gucci one signed by Tao, was about the sickest irony I've ever written.

And I had even considered the thought, Kris has so many ties in the story, each with a different color, pattern, texture, etc. (maybe they stand for different personalities). He uses different ties every single day...does that signify the way he uses his partners?

This showed Lay as generally a weak depressed character with no backbone, and even when Suho showed up, the possibility of them hooking up hadn't even crossed Lay's mind. (I had written them as being potentially perfect for each other if only Lay had gotten over Kris.) Because even though he's been injured countless times by Kris, Lay is still in love and overly loyal to Kris. Lay had good traits and was a good person, except he dwelled too much on the past and loved the wrong people. Thus, these mistakes ended up killing him, so when he continuously blamed himself for him and Kris's relationship, I suppose he had a point.

But this was all the original version.

When many of you asked for Kris's POV, I hadn't thought much about his because I had been so focused on looking through Lay's eyes. Since it doesn't seem right for Kris to be that villainous, I decided to have him redeem himself by explaining everything in the second chapter and, without changing any detail in Lay's POV (or analyzing it any differently) I made the POV of:

Kris.

I changed the entire plot in this chapter by turning it into a story of tragic misunderstanding.

By writing Kris's chapter and making him do generally normal things, I realized I had greatly contrasted him and Lay just by the things they do. While Lay was an emotional, broken-down wreck, showing how the relationship impacted him on a very surface level, Kris seems to have it tucked away inside him. He admits he ran off with Tao because he thought they loved each other, but then as he narrates he mentions that he always missed Lay and was meant to be with him. He doesn't seem to be too proud of missing Lay, only because our duizhang is a proud and doesn't want to look bad by confirming his own mistake.

A lot of Kris's pain is going on inside him, and although the same can be spoken for Lay, Kris doesn't show it the way Lay does until he finally breaks down and heads back to their old apartment. He still seems calm, cool and collected as he meets the people Lay has met with before: Chanyeol, which may not have been too coincidental considering he's a bartender, but Joonmyeon/Suho, who wanders around town suffering internally, just like Lay. It's a twist of fate and irony that Kris meets Suho in a similar way that Lay meets Suho; at a bus stop, in the bus, with a similar conversation, etc. While Lay feels like he can relate to Suho, Kris feels like they are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but he's still intrigued.

Kris's weakness, pride, is also shown in this story. He can't face Lay just yet, because he believes it'll shame him for "crawling back" (as he puts it). His cowardice comes from this pride, which ultimately kills Lay. Not mentioned in the story, Kris later reflects that had he not gone to the beach or the bar, he might've stopped Lay.

But Kris, as I had made him in the original oneshot version, is still an idiot with no real character development. He still doesn't know what Lay has suffered through, how much Lay loved him, and why Lay had hanged himself. He does, however, notice the Gucci tie signed by Tao is the tie that hangs around Lay's neck.

Although it may seem like the ultimate villain of the story is Tao, given how much of him pops up in a villainous way, the plot I had originally set up in my mind was that Tao wasn't really part of the story at all; it is the conflict of two people being idiots and s to each other and to themselves, and misunderstanding each other's motives. Lay thought Kris hated him; Kris thought Lay needed space. And even though Kris did it in the most ridiculous, coldest way possible, both were faulty at the separation of their relationship and Lay's death.

I had made the second chapter to bring Kris in a better light by making him seem less selfish, but I'm sure it brought him down by making him sound even stupider ._.

To those who have endured this very long blog post, I am genuinely awed.

I hope this helps you understand the story more! If not, please leave me one of your wonderful comments down below giving me feedback on the story, analysis, anything! I'd also love it if you guys gave me suggestions for new oneshots, chapter stories, etc. Even a sequel maybe????? An alternate ending???? ;)

And if there's any confusion on just how much the impact of the brand Gucci had, as you may have noticed being spread throughout the story, please let me know and I'll also release a blog post for that!

xoxo love you all, and remember that bubble tea is for the soul~