Warning: This is not in anyway related to KPop, KDrama, or any KShow.

I'd like to ask, have you ever met someone that really had an impact in your life? Like someone, a friend perhaps, who changed you? Or just someone you saw walking on the street that made you question yourself? Maybe someone in the past who will from time to time visit your brain?

I do.

I met with my high school buddies and it had been a really long time since I last saw them. We study now in different schools in different provinces so having get togethers are sort of difficult. I just thought of meeting with my best friend to pass on to her my Christmas gift then one of our buddies asked us to come over to their house. Next thing I knew, we're like having a reunion. All seven of us, finally!

While waiting for the guys, me and my girl buddies talked about love related things. I mean, you guys do know how it works, right. So yeah. Then the topic went to our "Robin." Okay, first, we didn't call it "The Robin," it's just how I call it. They called it "The Greatest Love" And second, when I said "Robin," it's How-I-Met-You-Mother-Robin. After a few minutes, our topic ended since the boys joined us.

When I got home, I realized I didn't tell them anything about my "greatest love," or my "Robin," as I'd like to call him. Why? Everyone who knew me way back from high school would know. They saw how our love story unfold and how it ended.

I met my Robin at school when I was 9, we became real friends when I was 12, and we got together when we were 14. He's not my first love, no. I wasn't his either, it was my best friend. But we were each other's first boyfriend/girlfriend. 

I fell in love with my Robin in the most magical way. In a snap of a finger, right then and there, I knew I was in deep . My Robin was still in the process of moving on, apparently, he learned that my best friend likes someone else. He was moving on, for goodness sake, yet he stole a big chunk of my heart and refused to give it back. A second, that's all he needed. Damn!

For months, I played the role of a friend and suppressed my feelings for him. Eventually, we got close and fate decided to be on my side.

Our nonsense talks became full of hidden meanings, the looks we gave to each other went from just side glances to one with full of knowing yet curious, and people around us knew, we had something. 

We got together and freely showed each other affection. I swear, I think I loved him too much I was going to burst. Those times that we were together were one of my happiest memories. I discovered different things about myself and learned to be selfless for someone else. We cared for each other, he protected me, and I made him smile. We also had our own fair share of couple fights but we made up with simple kisses. It was a beautiful memory, everything was.

The thing is, all good things has to come to its end. We broke up and being in a class with only 28 students, moving on was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. We had to see each other everyday, be civil and be classmates doing groupworks, not bat an eyelash if someone decides to tease us about our "past," and act like everything's okay when all I ever wanted was to crumble down.

Little by little, we tried to patch things up. Being seated next to each other, we tried to have small talks now and then. When our classmates tease us, we had to just smile a little. When our teachers make funny references (yes, the whole school knew about us, we were a C.C.), we just have to fake a confused look. The hardest part was to act like I was fine when he found someone else.

For years, I went around in circles. When it's just us two, we, for some reason, always end up talking about the "us." But when other people were around, he will announce it like it's the most normal thing that he likes someone else. All I can do was curse him inside my head. There were also times when I try to distract myself with other things.  I tried to divert my attention to other guys. I get along with them to the point of almost getting together but my Robin has his ways to make me come back to him and forget other guys. My Robin was hell lot confusing at times. One minute, he looks at me as if we were still together, next thing, he ignores me like he doesn't even know me. And it freaking hurts.

Well, two can play that game. When he tries to be that sweet guy, I become that sweet girl and played along. When he decides to be that ignorant jerk, I become that arrogant princess. And somewhere along the way, I started to not care. Was I successful in moving on? Do I still love him? I would always ask myself those questions. I was confused but I was happy that finally, I stopped wishing to get back together with him.

Up until now, from time to time, we talk like good friends. When we meet, we act like two hormonal teenagers who was still in love with each other. When I have problems, I go to him. When he has problems, we will reminisce how happy we were back when we were 14.

Five years have passed, and up until now, I still question myself.

Maybe, I still love him because my heart still skips a beat when he looks at me and my heart beat speeds up when he smiles. Maybe, I don't because I stopped caring if he has a girlfriend or not. Maybe I love him because I still see him with me in the future. Maybe I don't because I can't see him holding my hand when we're gray and old. Maybe I love him because I'll still do everything to protect his smiles. Maybe I don't because now it doesn't matter to if I'm the reason for his smiles.

But one thing's for sure. He is my Robin, the person I cannot be with, and whoever I'll meet and whatever we'll do, it will never be like how it would be like with Robin.

I fell in love with my Robin in the most magical way. I was sitting beside him and when I turned my head, I saw him already looking at me. That second our eyes met, my heart stopped beating and everything else went blank, just him and me. Then he smiled and my heart started beating hundred times faster than normal and suddenly my favorite color is honey brown, the color of his eyes. Right there and then I knew, I was in love him.