Stop. Stop. Stop. 

Stop—but I don't think I can. 

 

My mind screams at me to stop liking you, but I don't think I can. You see, stopping something is implausible for me. It has become like a routine for me, to always have you living on my mind; to always have your face appear in the dark abyss whenever I close my eyes and to always keep thinking of seeing you again. 

 

I will only stop when my heart stops, when my heart finally stops beating for you, gnawing at the misery I dwell myself in because of you. 

 

They tell me to stop. 

But the word 'stop' doesn't exist in that dictionary of mine. 

I guess it's because when something is sparked off within me, I give my all in it. When I like something, I like it with my everything. 

I have given you all my heart, all my love, all my soul into liking you. It's absolutely impossible for me to just... stop. 

Imagine doing this certain thing every single day once you wake up and get out of bed but then you suddenly stop your usual routine. 

Won't your hands itch, won't you heart ache, won't your mind haunt, won't the thought of it swim by? Won't you feel like crying? Won't you be lost? 

 

If I do stop liking you, like finally one day, just know that my heart that was devoted to you has changed for the better, for another person. For another boy who might somehow love me without stopping. 

Unlike you. You who stopped gradually, unlike me who continued to foolishly like you. 

Stop. I'm sorry, but someday I will. Just not now.