Hi, hi~

Today I'd like to talk about my face complex, lol. Sorry if the topic is weird, I'm just feeling like sharing this story of mine.

Hmm, first of all I'm an Indonesian. Ever heard about the country? Simply says, it's located in east south asia. It's near from Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand and Phillipine. It's also a tropical country with a bunch of islands. I live in Java island, and my origin is from the central java. But here's the problem, even though I'm a javanese my face doesn't really like a javanese people at all.

I have this rather sharp edged eyes without double eyelids and slightly white skin instead of big doe eyes with double eyelids and tan skin like what javanese people usually have. Because of my appearance people often think that I'm a chinese or japanese which is 100% wrong. Hell yeah I'm living in a country with different ethnics, but I still can't help being sensitive about being judged by people based on my look. My mother also have the same kind of face as mine, but whenever I'm asking her if we're actually having a chinese blood in our family she'll answer it by 'I don't know, we're javanese as long as I know'. Seriously, this is so complicated that makes me even wondering more about the real origin of my family. Therefore I made a theory to temporarily satisfy myself that my great great great grandfather might be an asian guy (lol).

My friends often tease my look as I'm growing up. Sometimes they're teasing about how I like K-pop and Japanese culture as well as they'll say: 'no wonder you're liking that kind of things, your face just like them though'. At first, I found that kind of teases are sooo annoying, but as K-pop wave gradually spreads in my country, my friends teases are gradually changing into something like:

'hey, your face reminds me of Jessica in Girls Generation'

'you are just like a girl version of Lee Taemin. Are both of you twins?'

'how should I say 'aigoo~' in korean pronounciation? you know some korean words well aren't you? and what's the meaning of jongmal and jinjja?'

Well, the good point is they're comparing me as a Korean idol by now, although I still don't understand about which point of my face is similar with them (lol). Some of my friends that a fan of AKB48 (vvota) also starting to idolize me as they say that I'm just like a member of AKB48 which name is Watanabe Mayu. They'll start singing AKB's songs or asking something like: Mayuyu, when will your next solo album released? as I just simply answers it with a laugh (but now that kind of 'affection' creeps me out though, it's like they're delusioning if I were an idol for real).

Other than being recognized as an asian like girl in my neighborhood in Indonesia, I also had a funny incident about my face back then when I was spending my holiday in Thailand. I was so hungry in the middle of the night as I asked my dad to accompany me for buying snacks at a conviniece store near my hotel. When I was about to pay the snacks my dad said that he want to take another drink for us and leave me at the cashier all alone. The cashier lady finished scanning the barcode of the previous snacks before my dad returns. Suddenly she is speaking in Thai language at me while holding some of the snacks that have been scanned by her. I was so shocked that I got myself blank in front of her as my dad finally come and explaining that we're Indonesian and we don't speak Thai. She's laughing and re-explaining her previous words with english as she actually promoted some discount on the product that I bought if I buy two of that thing. I got embarrassed as I walked out the convinience store when my dad commented on the incident: now you're a thai as well... 

Well, that's quite a long story about my face complex I never meant to spread racism towards asian people. It's just that I'm wondering about the complicated origin of my family and my point of view as a girl who had been misjudged by my appearance. Tell me if you have a similar problem like mine, I'm listening~ ^^

This is a bonus selca of my face if you're wondering, kkk