I am the kind of girl at class that will always be silent. I think a lot, I feel a lot, but I say nothing.

Sometimes, I feel like a complete failure, like there will actually be no diffrence if I wasn't there. Why do I feel like this? Like every person who is looking at me, is judging me from a far. I feel so alone, so sad all the time. 

I feel forced to be social, to do homework and present stuff in front of class. That is scary... so unbelievably scary. To stand in front of people and talk, that is my worst fear. 

I hate talking.

I feel like nobody in my class is even trying to get along with me, I am the silent girl sitting in the corner of the class room with a book in her hand. The nobody. Th outsider. The weird girl.

I am diffrent. I like diffrent things and I like to get to know new people, but I am too scared, because I never make the first move.

I have very few people I can call friends, but I can never openly talk to them.

I have a boyfriend whom I love more than anyone in this world, but we live in diffrent continents and I only see him once a year, every summer, just for a few days.

The only people I really care about never notice the fake smile, they dont see the dried tears on my cheeks and they dont see the hurt in my eyes.

I find comfort in writing, that is the only way I can really express myself. 

That is my voice I never use.

Thank you my readers for always being there for me, I can never thank you enough...