So this is me after a good 3 hours of reflection. I have thought through many things, spoken to many of my really sweet and kindhearted friends. They are encouraging, and the fact that they are so supportive does send some warmth down my heart. 

The cancellation of KMWinSG still pains my heart badly. Really badly. I have been anticipating to seeing EXO performing live in from my eyes, breathing the same air as they do, chanting their names proudly while they show me their greatest dance. Yet... This happens. It really saddens me to know how things work out to be. But as always, life isn't fair. I have accepted the fact that I was cheated and being thrown aside like the remaining thousands of fans are experiencing right now. Till now, there is no official statement from MBC or Fatfish. The fact that they are probably hiding away from us (or looking at the positive side, thinking of ways to salvage this situation) does not help at all. All we want is a good explanation, even if it isn't the one that we anticipate for. Nevertheless, this incident taught me many things.

1. Human

I'm truly thankful for everyone who sends in their concerns with regards to this matter. This incident really unravels the truth, only true friends care. And to be honest, I am really thankful for those who care, even if it is just a mere question, 'Are you alright?' For i know that these questions are genuinely coming out from their heart, and not a question that meant to be causally spoken. For some, it may seem like a small issue that I should not dwell on. Yet, I reckon that they probably have no desire of meeting their idols so badly before, which pretty much explains why they are at the very least keen in being involved in this matter. In fact, some of them are probably judging me, thinking that I must have been possessed and went demented over a group of idols. A group of idols that would not care the less of you, a group of idols that would never notice your existence. I agree with them, I know it well too. EXO will never remember or even notice me. They have such a huge fanbase with many prettier and richer fangirls, who am I as compared to them? A speck of dust? An unknown pair of shoes? A wasted food? I dont know. And I honestly don't care. I knew it right from the start, the moment I love EXO. I know that this group of amazing boys will never notice me, but just seeing them afar excites me so much. I don't need them to notice me, they just have to be happy with what they are doing right now. As an international fan, I will be supporting them from far, constantly giving them support. That alone, is enough for me. I'm more than contented to be experiencing this. 

2. Feelings

Indignant, upset, devastated. I have experienced all of these within a mere 3 hours. As if things are not bad enough, today is Kris's birthday. And this news has to be brought up, on Kris's birthday... Can you imagine how EXO would have felt towards Singapore?... I have no idea if EXO is glad or excited to be performing in Singapore or not. Nevertheless, knowing that your schedule has been so abruptedly cancelled is certainly not a good experience, regardless of it being enjoyable or not. I apologize on Singapore's behalf, though I am fully aware that my apology is probably not at the very least significant. Yet, as a Singaporean, I do feel ashamed that such things happen, causing huge disruption ot their schedules and marking a bad impression of us. When I was reflecting, a part of me was screaming for help. It screamed to be enmeshed from this knot of crazy fangirling and intense love for EXO. I know it is certainly not logical to be affected by idols, but my feelings can't change. At that moment, I thought to give up from kpop. I wanted to wean myself off from kpop, so that I could no longer be sad over idols and their news. But, I have a long time to myself. I thought, though they are many sad moments, I feel truly happy and excited to be knowing about their comebacks and news too. It was then the truth dawned on me, I love idols, I love EXO, and this fact will never change. I cannot imagine myself being off from kpop, no matter how hard I try. I promise myself, I will love EXO till the very day that they die. We will grow old together, and this is a promise. <3

As much as I hate to inform my peers that I will no longer be attending this concert, I know that everything happens for a reason. Why? I have no idea either. Things will sort out soon, by the time, it will be so much better. It's perfectly fine not seeing EXO this time round, for I know, one day, I'll see them performing live in front of my eyes. That day, I promise, it will come true. My first ever watching concert experience shall be kept for EXO's solo concert. I'll be waiting for that day to arrive. <3