Why can't i just let go...

I couple months back i wrote this blog post about my ex boyfriend and how he kept breaking my heart over and over again.

Well now i want to get over him! I'm desperately trying to get over him, it's been a year since we broke up and i've had casual flirts afterwards, three times actually, but i still dont seem to be able to forget him.
I wonder why... we were only together for about a month, but this person was able to get into my heart after so little time, and i'm just wondering why?
Why was he that special to me?
Why do i keep getting hurt every time a post of him and another girl pops up on my facebook, even if it's not even a girlfriend?
It annoys me that i feel this way, everytime i meet his eyes i still melt.

Why? I would love to understand why? he wasnt even that special, at first i wasnt even nice to me when we started dating? So why?
I'm seriously wondering how i'm going to make this feeling stop!

I recently deleted hi from my contact list on facebook, so now he wont be able to see when i'm online and i wont see when he is. But it was hard... why?
It feels so stupid to feel like this?

He was a jerk who at first teased me about my looks, body and stuff, he teased me about my likes, and he never had time for me. But we had fun and i still loved him. But why did i love him so much when he werent even nice to me some times?

Why do i keep hoping that some day he might come back to me?
I dont want to anymore! I dont want to dress up for him everyday, hoping for him to think i look good, when i know it wont matter. but i still do it?

AND I WANT TO ING STOP!

Well... i just needed to get that out of my system, because i'm hating myself for still feeling like this...
It's no fun! I want to fall i love again, i want to forget like i did with the others.
I dont want to stay weak from his looks... he wasnt even that good looking! Urgh this is annoying!!!!

But thanks for reading if you made it that far... xD

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SuhoAngel #1 Oct 15, 2013 15:59:31

Aww. I hope you feel better.
I felt the same way about my ex for about a year as well, so I think I might understand.
I understand how you're conscious of yourself around him, hoping he'll still think you're pretty or that you look nice or something. And then you see him with other girls.
But perhaps it would help to think of the reasons you broke up.
Did you break up messily?
Perhaps you need closure.
What I mean by this is that you might want to hear from his mouth saying "it's over. Completely over. I don't like you and never will."
I'm mostly over my ex now. I only think of him when I see him. But I still feel like I should tell him one day. I should tell him about all the things I ever felt and thought, so that I can get over it and not carry around these confused feelings anymore.
He didn't make time for you, and he teased you.
He's not good enough for you. Somebody else will appreciate you more.
He might not even be sparing you a single thought.
I know it feels good to be in a relationship, and maybe you miss that. Being single now, I miss it too. It's easy to imagine in your mind "well maybe if I didn't do this and this didn't happen, we'd still be together and happy." It's been a year, for both you and I, separated from our exes, and it's easy to remember the good things, but remember why things went wrong.
And think, sometimes you look back on a guy you used to like, and you think "I'm so glad I never got serious with him" or "I'm so glad we're not dating now."
I know it seems like you'll never get over him, and that he's really special, but in some time, you'll laugh at yourself and maybe be slightly embarrassed about how you liked someone like him.
Hope this helped ^_^
PM me if you want
-SuhoAngel