Okay guys for a start, this is actually my first review I have published, so my layout would be a little messy, though I will gradually make it better. ^^

Now onto the title, Machine… I had a brief feeling about the plotline already, because this is an OC/Exo story.  My first impression was that the female lead is some cold-heart character, then Exo is probably the kingkas… I am sadly correct about this plotline. I know I sound really harsh, but it means a lot for me to read something different, but I am definitely not saying this is bad, because I can see plenty of people enjoy this fic.  The foreword is a little too lengthy for my liking, since I always liked short ones that capture me within a few words.

The presentation also plays a big part in my decision of judging whether I would like this story or not. I know people often say don’t judge a book by its cover, but sadly I do. To me, a neat layout makes you look more professional. But yours is a little messy, so it needs improvement. You could start by putting your pictures into hyperlinks, so that instead of bazillion small digits, you have one neat line. Also I personally think character profiles are a little unnecessary, but if you do want one; make sure the setting and presentation is also neat alright?

Your grammar is correct for the majority of the piece, which I give a big round of applause for. However there is one thing I have to pick on. You tend to put a comma after a quotation mark, which is not wrong, but you did put a full stop or exclamation point or question mark before that. So that is your main mistake.

E.g.

“His name is Kwon Jiyong, age 20, and he’s my ex-boyfriend.”, I started and noticed they were listening attentively.

It could do like this.

“His name is Kwon Jiyong, age 20, and he’s my ex-boyfriend.” I started and noticed they were listening attentively.

Otherwise with a few tenses wrong here and there, you are all good to go.

I am going to talk about your plot and flow at the same time. Your plot, though the idea is a little too cliché with the cold-heart girl suddenly getting a group of twelve hot guys. That concept is very unrealistic, but I guess the sweetness and fluffiness of some chapters made up for it. In my opinion, no matter how repetitively some scenes may be; it is still cute to see the fluff. You don’t know how hard I fangirled. The flow however I would say it is perfect for this story, it isn’t dragging on for too long, but long enough to make us feel connected and attached in a way. I guess I appreciated the usage of different words, which makes it really interesting. You have great collection of vocabs~! I high five you for that. Sometimes though, just remember to move on from one topic; don’t stay on it for too long. The length of each chapter relatively good. I like it~!

Overall, mark as below.

Title [2/5]
Presentation/ Description/ Foreword [4.5/10]

Grammar [8/10]

Plot [12/20]

Characters [5/15]

Style [14/25]

Flow [9/15]

Originality [3/10]

OVERALL [57.5/100]

It is overall not a bad story, but your storyline is overly repetitively as I have seen many others for the same plot. I would recommend doing something different. Something out of the box. Hwaiting though. I wish you the best for the future. Enjoy writing as much as possible okay?

Hi guys! I am so sorry! I just got back from a trip and now I have school. TT_TT I thought I could posted it up earlier, but no... It had to be now. I will try to hurry all the reviews, maybe I can get it up by next week? Sorry!