So I guess updating late at night is a routine for me. Anyways to the reason I'm typing this. This won't be long because I don't feel like writing, but I need to vent my feelings someplace.

I had a fight with my mom today. It wasn't a real fight, but more like hurt feelings. My mom doesn't really like to be alone becase as I mentioned in my last blog post she gets pains in her chest easily. She has told me beofre that sometimes she feels like she's going to die because of them. Today I was going to go to my brother's baseball game but stayed home to study. I was actually at my grandma's and told my mom I'd come home soon so she wouldn't be alone. I studied with my cousin and lost track of time. Soon my grandparents came in and I realized that I should have been home at least an hour ago. So I went home as quickly as I could and saw my mom sitting with my dad on the couch. I sat by her and tried to be happy and show them how much homework I had and things, but they just kinda blew me off. I sat there for a second and then my mom said this: I offered to help you study but you didn't come home. You can study on your own or with your dad. I was kinda hurt so I just got up and went downstairs after sitting there for another minute with her ignoring me. I sat on my bed and cried, even though I tried not to. Eventually I stopped crying, and soon I didn't even look like I'd been crying. So my mom came in a little later and said: You can go upstairs and study with your dad. I'll be down in the basement staying out of your way. After she left I burst out crying again. When I could see straight I texted my cousin hoping he would cheer me up because I thought he knew how much my mom means to me. I just told him I was depressed and instead of asking why he said good. I said no really because I thought he decided I was joking but he just said o good again. I told him I would just go talk to someone else so he's like =D. I then went to talk to my best friend who is also his girlfriend. She was my best friend first~! I told her everything and she comforted me and then she kinda yelled at my cousin.... I told her not to go overboad though because I didn't want them to break up because of me. Then my cousin called me and asked what was wrong. Yeah he called a depressed person. I don't know about other people, but he should know I hate actually talking when I'm unhappy. Then he said he needed to know because guess what. My friend was mad at him because of it. Go figure. I told him I needed to go and just hung up. Which now that I think about it was a bad idea. My dad also came in somewhere around there and I had to pretend I wasn't crying right before. I stopped crying in about 2 seconds so he wouldn't know. He told me that I had really hurt m mom's feelings and I should go apologize. He then left. I, of course, felt even worse than before but I wouldn't let myself keep crying. My best friend really helped a lot. The worst part is I overreacted to everything because I've been super streesed out the last few months. This whole mess is completely my fault..... Imma go text my cousin and see what he wanted to say so I guess I gotta go. Bye.

Peace Out,

Kitktykatty