So I just read "Absolute Chanyeol" and well yeah...

IT WAS DEFINITELY NOT HORRIBLE. But I feel like I've read better...When I read something angsty or predominately sad, I look like I'm dry heaving and then all of a sudden the tears start pouring. That happened earlier today when I listend to "Why So Serious" with Jonghyun's vocals. I miss him alot XD

When I read it, I did notice one things. It's REALLY well written. I felt like it was practicaly perfect! So I mean I guess that's a start. 

A part that I didn't like was when Tao admitted to returning Kris and he explained his reasons (both lie and truth). I don't know how to explain it but I just didn't feel comfortable reading it. It felt weird.(i guess?) Did anybody feel that way?

The ending in my opinion was just there. Nothing crazy nothing over the top. I thought that was a pretty good way to end it rather than sweeten it up by bringing our dear Yeollie back or some crap. The thing was the ending was so...so...i can't think of a word...that it never really got to me.

I cry over the tons of things (even the stupidest ) at times and strangely this wasn't one of the reasons. When Chanyeol died, I wasI pretty darn broken hearted (not as much as Baek) but I felt like nothing happened. I almost did lose it and start my dry heaving/crying process but it stopped like 2 seconds in. I felt like my brain had forced it. 

The craziest part of it was that I started laughing. Laughing about nothing. I didn't know what to feel. Sad? Disappointed? Hurt? Upset? Just what? After I laughed I felt this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't really know how to explain it but as I type this I feel so numb. I have no idea what I should do anymore. I kinda feel like cutting of my right arm and curling up into a ball. NNow, I want to puke. Okay this is kinda freaky now...