So you've had like...4 heartbreaks before.  All of them were one-sided romances. 

With the first guy, you boldly told him that you have a huge crush on him ...by the beach, on a sunset of a lovely afternoon when everyone was having fun, thinking that things would go like the mangas you read.  But you were wrong.  Hell, you were VERY wrong.  Of course he only sees you as a friend, nothing more, nothing less.  Damn this 14-year-old heart of mine, you think.  But he says it's OK, that you were still friends and life would go on like normal.  Normal? Ha~! When your long-time crush falls for your best friend after your tragic confession, life is anything but normal.  They didn't become a couple but you don't care anymore.  You were too devastated to care.

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And then the second guy came along.  He was the late bloomer type.  He was in the shadows for the past 3 years of high school, but for some reason, on senior year, he skyrocketed to fame.  This was puzzling to you, because you could never see why he became such a star all of a sudden.  And you couldn't even pinpoint an attribute that would make him likeable~!  Was it his growth spurt?  His lovely skin?  His ability to solve Rubics cube in less than 5 minutes?  His innate prowess in getting the right answers in the trigonometry exams?  His sheer brilliance in playing computer games?  Wait a minute...I thought you could never find any good attribute of his?  Oh dear...you were in love...again.  And with the person you never expected to fall in love with.  You never learn do you?  But at least you never confessed to him.  Making a mistake is excusable, but making the same mistake twice is beyond stupidity, you think.  So you kept all your feelings to yourself. 

So you both went to the same college, taking up the same course.  And on the summer before you hit college, you exchanged text messages....everyday...from dawn until dawn...talking about anything under the sun.  There was that bond between you two, and it was a strong friendship you think.  So this went on throughout the whole freshman year of college.  You wake up, you text him good morning, or sometimes he does the same for you.  He's the last person you text when you go to sleep as well.  You even remind each other of your lunch times!  You even have lunch together...just the two of you~!  But you swear it's just friendship~!

That was until he told you "...because you're special...".  Perhaps your ears were in need of cleaning that time.  Perhaps your mind was just playing tricks on you.  But you could have sworn that he really said those words.  And since he was not the person who would play games on others (he was a good boy), you believed him.  You believed something "special" was going on.  And you even promised that should one of you get into a relationship, he should inform the other party and introduce the "special someone" to the other party.  How dainty.  A pinky swear was all it needed.  Really...you thought there was something special.  That was until you both changed numbers and didn't get to see each other often and you saw an offline message in Yahoo! Messenger saying "remember our promise?  i already have a girlfriend". 

Your body reacted in a robotic manner.  You shut down the PC even if you still had a research to do, went to your room, played the MP3 player, and looked at the window with tears rolling down your cheeks.  Oh great~! The sky is sharing the same sentiments with you~!  All you needed to do was to curl in a fetal position and cry your heart out~!  But you decided you were stronger than that.  You decided that he would be the first and last boy who would make you cry.  You decided to completely shut your heart down, get your mind focused on your studies and never to fall in love again...like those strong/bitter maidens of Greek mythology who worship Artemis. 

But you just can't deny....you really did love him.  And that was the mistake you knew you were making.

(BREAK~! PART 2 COMING UP...)