Diary,

 

Am I in reality?

 

I'm not sure if I’m here right now. Rather, have I died diary? Please, tell me...this was real.

 

It's just... I’m sitting here on my bed. Writing in you, diary because... Jonghyun just kissed ...me.

 

I’m.....I’m just gonna...start from.....the ....top.

 

 

 

You see, Jonghyun called me after I went to bed. Suho was just acting so weird (maybe he had some bad RaMin ..ha~). Once again, Jong calls me at some odd time of day asking to meet up with me. But you know Diary, I still consider every call I get from his, precious. In its own little way. I pulled on a sweater; it was kind of chilly out.  Once again; only Jonghyun, can bring me out in this hell-of-a coldness, and not get a slap in the face from me. He was waiting at his car. 

 

Okay Diary, I knew he had a car but I just wanted to be derisive toward him. I had a really long day. But we sat in his car. He asked me another dumb question. I just wanted to get out of there (Why was he doing this, you know?). But uh, he really was trying to plead his case to me. Jonghyun said he was dumb, and he now notices what he has been missing all along. Oh really Kim Jonghyun? I think you're just jealous. Hana didn’t want your sleazy behind, and here you'd think I'm just gonna pick up the crumbs that were left.... My relationship with Kris means nothing to you. I'm just gonna drop it all, for you. He did look tired. However, that could have been from anything. SHINee's schedule was so busy lately.

 

And then I forgot that Kris was going to call. Ah Diary~ Did I tell you how he calls me every night? He sounded so tired on the phone (Hell, I'm tired right now). He needed to hear my voice. I really loved him; but then... Jonghyun snatched the phone from me and hung up. That was the last straw. And I mean the last straw for everything.

 

I had wasted, my time.....my energy......for a short, whiny, sleazebag. And despite his nice car ( and I’ll admit that, it is a nice car) I left. Like, HE COULDN’T EVEN MAKE IT ORIGINAL! I remembered, on my way back to the front door, that didn’t he get caught with some girl in his car some years ago? Was I to be number 2...or 3......4, 5, 6  or infinity? I wanted to cry. I wanted to get away from him as fast as I possibly could. Away from, that whole part of my life, just....throw it away.  

 

Diary, I’m not a good crier. It's hard from me to hold it back when it's something that means more to me than the world. I just wanted to run back to the dorm.

 

Maybe he heard me. I totally did not mean for him to. I don’t … remember him getting out the car after me. But he caught up to me and, just when I was gonna give him a piece of my mind. He kissed me. 

 

And I think the world broke...

 

Dogs stopped barking.

 

Cars stopped making noise.

 

There was no one else one the streets.

 

Street lamps blew up.

 

There was a bright flash of light.

 

Oceans broke through store front windows.

 

I think even the ground shook.

 

It was like... nothing I had ever...well I hadn't had many....but. 

 

Kim Jonghyun made the world end for a second and time feel like eternity...

 

And then he brought it back.....Just like that the world resumed. Lastly for good measure, he kissed me again lightly and caught my lips at the end. 

 

Then he was gone....

 

Diary, I still don't think it's real. But just like Cinderella, he left me with a glass slipper. More like a ring. With my birthstone...So let me tell you about my birthstone Diary. First of all, I didn't even know they did stuff like that here in Korea. Second, peridot is a particular type of stone. It is light green in color. Most people confuse it with emerald, a lot! A person really has to be in the know-knowing that there are getting peridot and not an emerald. No one really gives peridot to people. Especially not as some popular gift. And it's specific to August. So that meant that Jong knew my birthday.

He knew my birthday. How? I didn’t even tell Kibum my birthday, and lately I've been telling him everything... 

 

Maybe....maybe diary...maybe he....does care....just.......maybe.......