Hey guys!!

So, In drama, I'm supposed to be performing a "cultural monologue". So, I thought "Hm? What is something cultural?? K-POP!! CHYEAH!!". i decided that I would go on AFF, pick my FAVE fanfic, and write a monologue using quotes from that certain fanfic. Because I'm a retard who only likes depressing things, I decided to pick a DEPRESSING FIC (which ALSO happens to be my fave). So, after I asked my techer if it was OK, I decided to go with THIS STORY, by the AWESOME and TALENTED janie6789. Just this morning, I finished RE-READING her story ( a miracle, it made me cry even more this time) and also my monologue. Now I just have to learn it. I hope you guys enjoy reading it!!

BTW, MOST of it was written by Janie6789, but I had to change it to make sense. ALSO, it's actually little parts and sentences from different chapters all put together into one depressing scene...ENJOY!!

Do you want to know what the worst feeling in the world is?

It's having someone you love; really love, be the source of your pain. That's hard, harder than anything else.

But you want to know what’s worse? Being so helpless, being so powerless to stop it - it really rips your heart out, and fills your entire body with all sorts of emotions that you didn't know you had in you.

And that was exactly how I felt as the manager began my first beating.

He opened the closet and grabbed the broom. He ordered me to get on the wall as he prodded and poked me with it.

I pleaded him to stop.

Tears fell out of my eyes and onto the floor as I took a deep breath.

Once again, I begged him to stop.

But he demanded that I get on the wall.

I just bowed my head and continued crying.

When I didn't respond, he took me by the arm and forced me into the wall. I was still crying so hard that I was more or less blinded by my tears as I stood with my hands on the wall.

I felt the stick being lined up, then I heard it cut across the air and connect with my hips. There was a pause in which I heard the sound but didn't feel anything, and then there was a pain that I didn't know I could experience with just one swing. I let out the breath I was holding.

I bowed my head, breathed again, then started shaking once more. I balled my hands into tight fists against the wall as a second landed. I grunted again, and more tears fell on the floor. As the third landed, I cried out involuntarily. As much as all of my natural instincts were telling me to move away, I forced myself to stay where I was, knowing that if I moved, I could get hit somewhere else inadvertently and be injured. So I spread my hands out again with my eyes squeezed shut. I was keeping myself from crying out in pain with more difficulty than ever as I gripped the wall so tightly that my fingertips had turned white.

Again and again he hit me while I just stood there, taking it all until I lost count.

I put my elbows on the wall and my forehead on the back of my hands and started sobbing with the realization that there was no way out of this. I didn't know what to do.

This was too hard, my body couldn't take it anymore, and I wished that I could separate myself from my body so that I could get away from all of this.

It was then that I finally started shaking.

I stepped away from the wall a tiny bit, then gasped with the intense pain that followed. Then I paled with the realization.

Oh god. I couldn't walk.