Everyday is a challenge for me. I find it hard to find happiness. They always pull me down and no matter how much I try to keep up and stay happy, I find myself losing to them. I feel myself slip from my grasp on life. I cry too much for someone of my age. I feel in a way that I shouldn't. If you saw me in everyday life, you would probably think "She must be so happy. She has friends that care about her and an incrediby nice and supportive family. Well you'd be wrong. That is only plastic. My family just puts that on to seem nice, but you dont see the way they change when you leave their sight. Everything goes from plastic niceness and happiness to anger and sadness. And I'm just stuck in all of this . I may seem happy,but I'm not. Everything like the constant fighting and the yelling are all hidden from the public eye. No matter how much i want to have confidence in myself and to look beautiful, there is always someong or something that takes it out of my hands and makes me feel ugly and unwanted. I am probably the last person you would think of to be insecure. But that just shows you how good i am at hiding my thoughts and feelings. 

Sometimes they make me want to be invisible and non-existent.