Okay. So I’m in a rage mode. Well I don’t know it’s a rage or just kind of disappointed-mingled-with-sad-and-regret emotions. But YES this does pissed me off. Until I like don’t know how to vent it but sobbing like a little kid lost her balloons.

Let me start with a brief explanation.

My ex-bf and I, were about 5 months ago, we decided to do a trade. He said that he want to borrow my phone and in return he lend me his harddisk. We go to different school bcs he’s older than me and he’s 2 grades higher than me. So he came to my school to do the trade thingy. And things went on. For about 5 months.

And just yesterday, he came to my school again and gave back my phone, so did I, gave back his harddisk. And now the phone is on my hand again.

Because I haven’t seen the phone for long time, its just feel too strange with the phone.

And today when I checked my data: like notes, saved messages, and stuffs. I found it that MY notes was mostly DELETED! DELETED!

There was just some song lyrics I’ve saved long time ago that didn’t get deleted! I DON’T NEED THAT SONG LYRICS ANYMORE, OKAY!

I just….HOW CAN I CANNOT GET MAD OF IT?! IT WASN’T MERELY AN ORDINARY NOTES! ESPECIALLY TO ME!!! IT’S SPECIAL! IT DOES HAVE MY FEELING ON IT THE MOMENT WHEN I WROTE ALL OF THE-DELETED-NOTES!

There, some memorandum; my notes of memories when I was with him, when we broke up, and stuffs that ALL are IMPORTANT, he deleted it without permission from me! AND NOW I HAVE NO REMEMBRANCE!!

Maybe that-what-I-said-important-to-me aren’t important to him,and maybe he’s already sick of me who evidently still have a crush on him /cough/. But still, it’s MY PHONE! You’ve got my permission first to do anything!

I…seriously don’t have an idea how to vent my this-very-heart-breaking-reality.

Feel losing, disappointment, mad, regret, sorrow, and stuffs I can’t even tell what I feel. I end up crying over the deleted notes. /sobs hard/

YOU ALL KNOW RIGHT HOW IS IT FEEL WHEN YOU LOSING SOME IMPORTANT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT CANNOT BE REVERSED?! OTL

He’s annoying! And it’s pissed me off! But too bad I just can’t hate him and get mad at him forever.

just why i can't hate him ;___;