Bad Things Just Keep Happening To Me 。・゚゚・(┬┬_┬┬)・゚゚・。 And I'm Starting to Think I Deserve It

play this while reading it'll make some sense

 

 

some things have happened in the past two days that have gotten me plunging back into my sad depressed state 

My Cousin Rin is in the E.R. for a Stab wound, Our Maknae got caught in the middle trying to help her out of it getting a few cuts and wounds (damn bugglar broke into our house thinking it was empty)

My Dad passed away after My Older Brother from Shock the last night after walking out on me when i needed him the most since Rin and Shiro are in the hospital 

My Mom ran off to who knows where blaming me for everything 

I started cutting again and i feel on the edge on insanity about to lose myself 

(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T)(T-T) 

why can't things go right and good for me for once i'm still getting over my hyung's death and i'm starting to wonder if i should just up and quit aff i know it's crazy when i love writing but i can't help but want to die...

Comments

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UMakeTheSunComeOut #1
really now... Oppa... don't be sad. Please feel better. Look at all, and srsly, there's a ton of them, comments below. Everyone here cares about chu and knows you can get through this. All that's left is to convince yourself.

I know what it feels like to want to die too. Sometimes living is just terribly hard isn't it? And it seems like a ton of other people feel that way too. But that's also what makes all of us stronger. It's our experiences that shape us so if you don't let it crush you, you'll come out a stronger person.

I feel bad now. You're so depressed and want to die because you care about your family. But when I felt that way was because I thought that everyone's expectations had suddenly risen so high it as suffocating me. and I was like this total, depressed loner. How selfish.
But I'd like to think 'm a better person today because of those experiences.
Stay strong and have faith oppa! I'll be praying for you! Fighting!
__eccedentesiast_ #2
maknae* grrr -slams phone on table- stupid spelling error
__eccedentesiast_ #3
oppa talk to me now i understand how you feel about wanting to kill yourself but believe me it doesnt help think about how rin and makmae are gonna feel think about all your friends on aff your noonas, dongsaengs and hyungs how are they gonna feel if you do that
shnannae #4
I know that feeling. but because I have experience on that and I know how that feels, I can tell you, that you shouldn't think that way. You can't blame yourself.
Sometimes life is hard, I know. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.. Good things will eventually come for you after this.
If it helps, I'm here to listen, if you want?
Take care and stay strong~
DragonG
#5
sweetie, you can't blame yourself OR think that you deserve the bad things that befall you. good things will come your way, you have to believe that. don't give up, because as we've all said, there are people on here that care very deeply for you and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. please stay strong, we all love you so incredibly much ♥
Mangazit #6
OMG OMG. Talk to me. I remember feeling the EXACT SAME WAY. I know how to overcome it OMG. TALK. TO. ME. CAUSE. THIS. IS. LIKE. PERSONAL. EXPERIENCE. OMG X.X
LoveLikeChocolate #7
Don't you dare say that. You hear me? DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT. 

I know this sounds strange, coming from a stranger on the Internet and all, but I care about you. Trust me, trying to commit suicide won't do you any good. I should know (long story, something I'm not willing to say and I'm sure you're not willing to hear.)

Things will get better, though it seems impossible now. The best you could do now is too pray for Rin and Shiro's health, pray that your dad and hyung are in a better place, and pray that your mom would realize that nothing is your fault. 

I know there's a pretty good chance you're gonna scoff at this, but there are people who care about you, me and a lot of your AFF friends included. (Look at the comments below)

I swear, if I find out you that you die, I will find out where you live, go there, find out where they buried your body, dig you up, and slap you till you come back to life. Then I will kill you and bring you back to life again, just so that you would learn how much it hurts to die. Think about the babies, too!
JongKey1221
#8
Oppa, you don't need to feel this way!! Give me your number, we can talk about it that way. Promise :)
One of my best friends are the exact same as you and anytime she needs someone for comfort, she calls me. I promise to help you, okay? You should call me... if you can speak English -^.^-
I'll post on your wall. Contact me, alright?
abstruse-
#9
awwh oppa.
i can't reallly say anything because i never been through such.
but keep thinking positive and what your hyung would want for
the best. you still have rin unnie and your maknae-ssi to take
care of. hwaiting oppa!
JiHae1 #10
You can't quit AFF if that's something you love it can help you vent out things and take off stress and you can't quit life things always get better i promise and cutting yourself isn't going to do anything but bring you more pain "Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow." don't give up hope baby jae <3
vic2ry98 #11
That really :(( I hope you're ok. I know how you feel because I was really depressed a few months ago and I actually thought of suicide :(( good thing I didn't. Now my life is getting better and better I hope yours will too :)