I'm not sure of what i'm feeling. I just know it feels weird.

It's like there's something out there for me, something big, but...at the same time, it feels like i'll never be someone. Like i'm doomed to live and never be someone. It makes me feel so... i don't even know...

I've been writing a lot. I wrote nearly all the stories i have submited in a month. I've been writing songs, and there might be more than twenty... none of them talk about my own feelings though, it's usually about putting myself on someone else's shoes and writing, composing... I've never been good at expressing my true self. I seem to always do it wrong.

I want people to remember me, to aknowledge me.

It feels like i'm not living, jut existiting. Sometimes it feels like i don't have much time left and then i get all determined to be less shy and show off the things i can do, but ... that's not me, i guess. 

I'm shy, and lonely, and scared.

Just had to put it out.