Nobody really has to read this..... Im just venting bc i cant vent anywhere else nobody reads my blogs anyway so there was really no point in saying that.

i feel like . I try so hard but i guess thats not enough. Out of my 8 siblings im definaty the low life; the one that probably wont go anywhere in life. I failed 8th grade, im the fat one, i talk back, my nana treats me the worst out my sibligs bc... Idk she just hates me. 

Everybody in my family are like super smart but as u know i just failed. Not bc im stupid... Well kida but school isnt easy for me and my mom expects so much but im not like her. She told be i wasn't smart enough to go to college. She said "you need to have the grades AND be smart." She also tells me to get out of the house and lose wait but HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO DO THAT WHEN IM GROUNDED AND CANT LEAVE THE HOUSE BC I FAILD!?!?!?! I live in the freaking country its not like theres anything to do here. I was also stressed bc my bff was super sick. Im busting my this yr trying to please my mom but all she says is "u should have done it last year" or "maybe if had done this last year you would be in highschool" she also told me that i su k at life and i always get so angry but im the type of person to forgive and forget to easily especialy when it came to family. I wish i wasnt like that. I wish my mom was proud of me. I wish my nana loved me. I wish i wasnt a tomboy so my mom like going shopping with me and i've tried changing my style for her but its still not enough. I wish i was skinny. I wish i was smart. I wish i didnt feel like an outcast when im with my family. I wish i was nicer to people and i really am trying..... I hate myself so much. I know all this sounds stupid or silly and i know people have it way worse than me but ... Idk ... I give up.. I naturally and that will never change.  Goodnight AFF its not like anyone will read this or care...