My friend Nena is in the middle.

I miss her...so much...

I feel like this isn't real life, I'm just dreaming, it will get better.

But it's not.

It won't 

And I need to realize that

But I can't

I'm so...I don't even know.

I look okay on the out side.

On the inside, I'm broken,

Completly shattered.

But then I think about her family,

All of her sisters,

Parents,

Her twin sister,

People that have a stronger connection with her.

I'm in denial

About the whole situation.

Losing a friend is never easy.

I want to go to her house and jam to kpop

Just one last time.

I wanna fangirl with her one more time

Just be with her more often to show that I really do care and love her.

I know she's in a better place but

I'm a child

I'm selfish

I want her here

With everyone that misses her.

I love you Nena...