May 30,2011: I couldn't forget this day. This was my last day in the Philippines before I finally came here in the United States to work as a medical technologist.

May last year had been like hell for me: everything had to be done super STAT (short turn around time). I had to work seven straight days before my last day of work. I had to take my driving exams. I had to had my clearances signed. I had to have my papers and schedule ready for an interview at the US Embassy in Manila. I had to have my visa ready for me to go to the POEA. I had to attend the pre-departure seminar to be able to get a plane ticket at a lower cost. Before I realized it, I was out of days for vacation.

May 30. Lunch time, I was feeding my tabby cat when sadness overwhelmed me. I started to cry. I didn't know when I'll be seeing my cat next. I cried when we were finally heading for the airport. My tears wouldn't stop flowing. Before I went in the immigration corner and I had to say goodbye, I was trying to fight back tears again. But my mother said to me, "This is your choice. You should live with it." My parents knew that I would be leaving one day, and that they were more prepared than I was. I realized I must had been selfish for me to pursue my dream. In exchange, I had to leave my family behind. I thought I was strong, but I felt weak.

I gave my friends and colleagues text messages, thanking them for the wonderful memories. Some where shocked to learn that I was already at the airport. I didn't want them to come over as I didn't want any drama to unfold. Nevertheless, they all bid me happy trip.

The travel itself had been like calvary. I literally had to sprint in the airport in Hong Kong just for me to reach the terminal where I was supposed to be. Upon boarding the plane, I slept right through it uncomfortably, only to wake up and eat breakfast. Because I crossed the International Date Line, I experienced May 30 twice. The plane finally arrived at ten in the evening, San Francisco time. I had to wait till four in the morning for the inspection to commence. While waiting, I opted not to stay at a hotel. I might not wake up and miss my flight. Instead, I waited at the waiting area the whole night, with not a wink of sleep visiting my eyes. I was already very anxious, hungry and thirsty. Yet, my anxiety won over. Then dawn came and I was able to board the plane after passing the inspection process. I slept right through the 2-hour flight till the plane touched down at Denver. And it was all the more grueling for me. Denver's aiport was so huge I was literally running everywhere to check for my luggage. Upon learning that my suitcase wasn't bound to arrive until my final destination, I was relieved. So i sprinted again to the inspection area, tired and hungry. As my bags were heavy, I had to endure another round of inspection that seemed like the game Trip to Jerusalem, ten times over. After satisfying the inspection part, I managed to grab me some cookies. That had been my, I don't know what meal that was. I literally had not been on food for more or less 24 hours. I nibbled my cookie as I waited for my flight for Kansas.

Looking back at what I've been through, I couldn't help but think this question someone asked: Will what you feel today still matter a year from now? For me, it still does matter. Every time I think of my first trip alone, I still tremble. But then again, I think that I'm thankful I conquered my fears. I finally reached where I was now. Veni, Vedi, Vici.

-May 30,2012, SS