Title (-/5) : 5/5. I just so love your title! It's not cheesy and if I was not reviewing your story, I would immediately read your story!

Description and Foreword (-/5): 5/5. It doesn't say too much about the future of the story and it will leave readers wondering what will happen. (Not a bad part)

Spelling and Grammar (-/10): 4/10. Okay now, this is the part when I get nasty. 

Examples (I only choose 2)

Example 1: He smirked, “ You don’t have  a right to ask me go away. BTW, you’re so annoying…”

CORRECTION: He smirked, " You don't have a right to ask me to go away. By the way, you're so annoying..."

Example 2: Love to 'fangirling'

CORRECTION: Loves to 'fangirl'

If you took note of your spelling & grammar, you've could have gotten at least a 7. And, don't use short forms like 'BTW' in your stories. I mean, the characters won't say B T W, right?

Plot line (-/15): 15/15. Although it isn't completed, I know that this story is completely original, & I love the plot!

Flow (-/5). 4/5. It was quite good, but I still couldn't understand some things sometimes as the flow was too fast.

Enjoyable-ness.  (-/5) : 5/5. Yes! I really enjoyed this story! I was in a bad mood today and you've brighten up my day! :D

Bonus (-/5) : 3/5. So nice that I read it 5 times! But just watch your spelling & grammar!

Total: 41/50! Just 9 marks and you'll get full marks! ^^ Hope my review helped~