um hi. 

tis i, rina.

not gonna lie, i had full intentions of coming back to aff and being active but then happened in november and december and it just wasn't great all around. i lost someone very important to me last month. between that, my job, and being sick i halfway shut down as far as interacting with my hobbies went. i've privately toyed with the idea of just deactivating my aff account and taking down all my galleries but then i also realize that my layouts are already out there and being used and i just need to be active enough to keep up on my galleries (which i will try to do. more frequently. i've just been so busy irl). and yet i still don't know what to do.  

i want to write fics, but as of now, i have no energy to do so. everything i have goes to my passion projects or things that alleviate my stress. i have so many ideas, but when it comes to actually putting them out there i just blue screen and stare into the empty text box. it's like being burnt out. i probably am. 

could i be better at being around? i need to. i don't know how feasible it is. it will all depend on how the next few weeks go and if i can get myself out of this space of being so ing burnt out it takes all of my energy to write four sentences and then i fall asleep in the middle of it. 

these are just some 10 am thoughts, don't mind me. i'm just thinking out loud. love you guys (real)