what am i feeling these days, i dont know. i dont even want toknow. i fear i will never reach my potential so i dont try and i cant see how that makes sense. maybe an excuse for my laziness, i see other people acheiving my dream and i fear for life because those wishes are too far from within my reach. im so scared of ehat i will not be, ia m tired of living i am tired of my nothingness, how do i even start. 

im writing this hope it brings me somewhere. maybe not grand but maybe better.