Have you noticed that your parents always argued with each other right when you saud something disrespectful to your dad? I did. I don't mean to it's just that i got it from my dad an that's why we but heads so, I even used to get slapped and punched on the head or face by my mom ever since I was 3 and I remember when I said something bad to my mom she yelled at me and made me go outside the room in the dark and I remember it was so dark and I was scared because there were rats that got inside our house and I just cried by myself and I knew no one heard me because my aunt, her husband, and their two daughters were watching a movie very loudly. And 2 weeks ago I wasn't in a good mood and my dad was away on a business trip for quite some time and he called and I said "What do you want?" and he had been drinking so he had been in a bad mood. Then later on he called my mom and they started arguing then my mom came up and yelled at me did i told my dad what do you want and i said yes and she said stupid! Then my dad calle again and they argued again and as I wa trying to go to sleep at around 11:45AM he called me and i had been crying for 3 hours and he noticed it then he called my sister she told him that i had been crying. So, he called me again and asked why i was crying, is it because me and your mom are fighting and think that it's your fault and i said that it's because you always fight with mommy whenever I do something bad and remember I was crying for almost 4 hours an I couldn't speak clearly so my sister took the phone and told my dad what I wanted to say. Afterwards, my sister thought in silence and said your right I never noticed it before but mommy and pa do fight when you get in trouble with mommy thrn she said she was sorry and we hugged. Then the next morning my eyes were swollen that my some of my double eyelid creases looked like I got surgery on them and they lasted until 12PM. I knew I shouldn't have talked to my dad like that but, it's just that when I was little I didn't like my dad cause he was too affectionate and I didn't like that and I admit I did pick up some habits from my friends but, I do blame myself for picking up those habits and not changing a lot of myself, my friends, and the way my mom treated me, I guess I felta bit stronger whenever I made those comments to my dad. There were other times when on my 12th birthday my dad asked me if I wanted to have chocolate cake for my birthday and I said no, I don't really like cake and i don't want to break out so he got upset and when they were eating it he said oh on my sweet heart's birthday she isn't sweet and I thought what the shut up, I'm already stressed with being the new kid in school, homework, and famioy issues, I have to deal with him too. So I just kept quiet cause I didn't wan to fight on my birthday not like on Christmas of 2008 or 2009. I don't remember much but my dad avoided me and finally when we talked he asked me questions about myself cause he wanted to know more about me at first I disagreed because I just didn't want to believe that my dad actually wanted to know about how my personality was like such as my favorite song, artist, shows, actors, actresses, and music, like we were strangers. Then he hit me with a question who do you like better your mom or me and I was just shocked I didn't know what to do or say to him and he said it's okay I know you love your mom more than me and he asked more questions. Now that I think about it I was mysterious, tough, boyish, and cool at school where no one could get me to crack when at times at home I became a helpless, rude, and crying daughter. I know this post is written sloppy but I just needed to tell somebody this I have not ever told my friends or my sister this, I just needed to tell someone te feelings and thoughts I have been bottlibg up for so long. But, I love my family I know I'm wired the same as them but, it doesn't mean I could not change myself. So, that's why I listen to kpop it lets me forget my problems in life, I get to learn and sing songs, learn dances without anyone telling me what to do, and I get to pretend that my life was an idol. I know weird right:) Please comment about your thoughts on this.