So, where do I start? To be honest, I don't really know.

Approximately four years ago, I entered this community and changed my life forever. I was able to write story after story and gain a stable following, all the while having wonderful friends by my side that shares my common interests. I was struggling with damn college but logging into this community every now and then really was a way to destress. I gained wonderful online friends I could discuss just about anything with and posting my wildest imaginations here and turning them into stories- I never expected so much support. To say I am really grateful to the AFF Community is an understatement. 

Having friends who are deep into the K-Pop wave was just a bonus, truth be told. I never expected to find the people I could share my burdens with at ease on this very community. But life isn't really much of a breeze and things happen. I don't know how or when exactly this happened but along with thesis, paperworks, and other college stuff that I won't discuss for the best of my scarred soul- my consistent sign in to the community was long gone. I could go on months without logging into AFF, and those months turned into years. 

Now that we have this unfortunate time, I decided to see what AFF had become. It was a dream to the me of four years ago. I think this has an app now and the new features is really cool. Chatting back then was such a lag but now, it's so simple. I wish I could've enjoyed it as well, but looking back, I really did made the right choice of setting my priorities straight (I wouldn't have graduated if I didn't LOL). 

Three days ago, I logged into my account for the very first time since ever, and I was surprise to be bombarded by notifications of all sorts. From comments of requests on updating my unfinished stories to messages of concern asking if I was alright, I honestly cried a bucket that night. I looked back at everything and saw that my friends from before had been inactive themselves, and I really didn't know what to do. So, what now?

From 39 published stories, I've come out with four completed fanfics only. It was a tough decision but I deleted each and every uncompleted story I have. It's honestly disappointing and heartbreaking deleting those unfinished stories one by one, but I just couldn't put it out there, y'know? I couldn't find it in myself to write again, and it's all the more saddening how I couldn't fulfill my promises of completing those stories (most of them were for contests, if I remember correctly). To be honest, I'm most sorry for readers who have waited for a long time and finally got to a- "sorry, this page is unavailable" fiasco. 

"I hope you find it in yourself to update soon and finish this story, author-nim"

Out of the comments I've recently read, this one struck me those. I'm really sorry that I didn't finish it in the end. It's a stupid excuse but life happens. 

I don't exactly know where I'm going with this but I'm truly thankful for the AFF Community. It was one of the few things I look forward to during my early twenties. It was one of the few things that made up my early twenties. I got to do those roleplays, meet a lot of people, make stories and gain several insights from it, I was able to do everything that I honestly didn't have a lot of confidence with in real life. Being a K-Pop fan on the western side before BTS exploded into fame, my taste on this kind of music was made fun of a lot. It was extremely rare to find people who share common interests and even if I found one, it's hard connecting with that person. The AFF community provided everything my past self wished at ease. I'm really glad. This community has been so kind, loving, and supporting. I'm truly, really glad.

Those times has been so much fun, and I couldn't ask for more. If anything, my deepest regret would be not trying any harder to balance things out. But life happens, I guess. I honestly couldn't believe this would be my last blog. I remember thinking before that even when I graduate college, I would still be an active member. But I guess it was a pipedream.

I'm not saying that it's impossible to balance life out and the AFF community, don't get me wrong. I would've if I could but my circumstances were quite vexing and special I was more of forced to choose what's best for me. I can't really say much but for my friends who knows what type of life I have at home and the expectations I have to reach for myself, I know you guys understand. Every person has different circumstances to deal with and I'm sure that others who were stuck like me were able to play well and continue :)

It was hard to come to this decision. Saying goodbye isn't really something I'm good at and I know this was long overdue but I still would like to be formal and make it official, since I'm incredibly grateful to this site. My journey was quite short but fun, VERY fun. I'm happy to have shared my love for K-Pop (especially Kyungsoo, God bless him), develop my sense of writing, read a lot of good fan fictions, and make friends in this community. So, I don't really know what to say now- I've never been good with words really but sorry. Sorry for being like this, and thank you lots. I wish the best for the AFF community and supports my fellow K-Pop fans and writers and readers. Farewell :)

This is Suzy Jenn, officially signing off <3