I strongly feel that this topic is something that I want to address in hopes of reaching to all you troubled people out there. And hey, lets be honest here, it is something that all of us can relate to easily right? Well unless you really can't do so in any way, I don't think you will enjoy reading this. So settle down people, grab your tea, coffee or whatever you can and lets start the rant.

Insecurities, self-confidence and self-esteem are problems that I have been dealing with since forever. Let me rewind back time to all the way when I was in Primary 6. Why Primary 6 you might ask. Well its because it was the year I had my first pimple. I started breaking out when I was in Primary 6 but at the age of 12 my confidence level was up there. It soared up high into the sky and was just resting there up in the clouds, chilling with the stars. There was no time to think about my break outs reason being I was so busy having fun with my friends in school. So I was in cloud nine up until Secondary 3 when I realised I was ugly.

Some people (I obviously won't reveal who, sorry got to keep the tea for this one) pointed out the acne scars on my face which made me feel so insecure. One of those mean people even asked my mum if she is going to let my face look like that forever, and recommended some treatment. As a teenager, as a human being, those comments rendered me speechless and I swear I felt like there were knives piercing through my body. So that is the beginning of how I discovered my insecurities and entered the world of self-esteem issues. 

Fast forward time, I entered polytechnic. And yes I was still lugging my insecurities around. I started to developed habits to help maintain my self-esteem level which by the way was already 7 feet down the ground (still salvagable I would say). My habits include hate looking in the mirror, hate taking pictures and hate talking to new people. I didn't dare to look in people's eyes when I talked to them because I feel ugly. Please comment down below if you can relate to what I am going to say next. I feel really insecure talking to people because it was as if I could hear them judging me in their heads and that they know and feel more good-looking than I am. So in a way what I am trying to say is that you feel like you are the buff. An ugly friend they keep by their side because you make them look beautiful. 

As time goes by my self-confidence was plummeting down 10 feet in the ground. It didn't help that I was using the wrong product for my face and so, my skin was still imperfect. 

After all those things I went through, I had drawn a conclusion that self-esteem fluctuates thoughout the time. At some points of your life, you feel really confident. You feel like you are up there and you can do anything you set your mind to. Basically your self-esteem is at its peak. But that can change when you reach a certain time of your life when you feel like other people are better than you and your existence is useless. The reality is, no one can cure this problem except you. Someone can compliment you and say "Hey you are really beautiful!" and you still feel like . That is because you have hammered the idea that you are not perfect. Thus it needs to come from deep within yourself. You need to embrace yourself and accept all of your perfections and imperfections, really.

These few steps that I am about to share with you is how I personally tackle my insecurities and self-confidence issues. They may seem cliche to you guys but it does work for me. But disclaimer though, these method is to only aid you on top of your cure. You need to heal and open your mentality first.

1) Motivational videos: I have been watching motivational videos since secondary school. It really help me build a strong mind, especially during exam period. Yall students out there, you guys feel me? My all-time favourite video is "Why do we fall" on Youtube. You are welcome to search it up and try and watch it!

2) Reflection: Reflection time is when you think about all the good things that you should appreciate having in your life - your family, friends etc. It is the classic focus-on-what-you-have-instead-of-what-you-don't-own method. By this way, you will feel less lacking and you realise that actually your life is not that bad. It works for me everytime and then afterwards I will feel slightly guilty for complaining about my imperfections. Focus more on the positive beauty in your life. #PositiveVibesOnly

Having said all that, this whole issue does not only revolve around physical appearance. It really encompasses problems like peer pressure (when you feel your peers are doing better than you), and wealthiness as well. Frankly speaking, it is a time-consuming process to stabilise and make your confidence stand up tall and firm. For me, I take a long way to dig up my self-esteem which is hidden so deep underground. But I am slowly getting there. 

Bottom line, we all face this issue. its just how extreme it is. Be grateful for all the nice things you have. It can be as simple as appreciating your health and freedom. And as for me, as long as you are a good person inside, other things come in secondary. No matter how good-looking you are, how high your qualifications are, how wealthy you are, if your attitude is , you are .

Stay beautiful inside people :)